About 3 months ago I bought this really cool custom suit. It’s kind of a greyish olive with black lines in it. It’s super light and it wears really well, flatters me, and doesn’t hold wrinkles.
I guess it’s almost a light linen, but I don’t know much about the material. Oh, and it’s Italian.
The problem is that the pants are a moisture magnet. I’m pretty careful at the urinal, but I guess you get that microscopic splash back, and you know what they say about no matter how you shake, or how you dance.
As a test I took a single drop of water and dropped it onto the pants, and it spread out creating a dark and very visible circle almost three inches in diameter.
If I wear this suit and go to the bathroom, it looks like I pissed my pants. If I wash my hands, more water sprays on them, and I look like I fell in a river.
It must be a combination of the color and the material, but how can I wear a suit all day if I have to hold my bladder.
I’ve taken to sitting down to pee, and having to plan commando assaults on the bathroom to avoid running into people on the way back to my office.
This is no way to live. I guess Italian men don’t piss.
Because of these indignities, I’ve decided to suspend all rational judgement and hate Italy and all things Italian whenever I wear this suit.
Fuckin’ Italians did this on purpose to me. The bastards.