I Hate You, Easter Bunny: In which I Pit the absurd holiday of Easter Sunday

As I am oblivious to religious holidays and television advertising, I woke up this morning in complete ignorance that this day holds for nearly everyone in the Western Hemisphere; specifically, that it is Easter Sunday. Blah. I did my usual Sunday morning thing (sans run, as I did a 10 mile run yesterday) and wandered down to Old Town to get my usual blunchfast of a Raymond Wrap and Hoegaarden or Black & Tan at the usual watering hole, then wander across the street for some applied kinetic physics (pool) and then to get slightly pickled on Irish whisky while comparing reading lists and making fun of the customers with the bartender (Hi, Rachael.)

Only, the pub is closed, as is the pool hall, as well as most other venues and establishments of the Holy Church of Hydroxyl. All because of a bunch of drunken Roman soldiers couldn’t make sure the body was cold before they threw it in a tomb. Morons. No wonder Rome burned.

But, like all heroic stories in which the protagonist has to overcome great challenges to succeed in the end, this has a successful conclusion. I found an Indian restaurant–Akbar–which was open, and had some very tasty lamb chutney thing with salted lassi and kulfi for desert. Yum. If I see that Easter bunny, though, I’m going to turn him into hasenpheffer, the bouncing bastard. Oh, and tonight I’m going to go watch Monty Python’s Life of Brian[sup]*[/sup] (doubled with Holy Grail) at the local revival cinema. On Easter Sunday.


*He wasn’t the Messiah. He was a very naughty boy.

Even speaking as one who spent weeks preparing this morning’s Easter cantata, I have to agree that it’s dumb to shut down the city for what is a purely religious holiday, and one which in our increasingly diversified culture not everyone celebrates. I think it’s dumb to close for Christmas Day, too, FW that’s W.

And don’t get me started on the increasing “gift-ification” of Easter–I’d give a lot to know what knothead somewhere is pushing the idea of “Easter gifts”, like those humongous plastic-wrapped Easter baskets that USED to hold merely a few jellybeans and malt balls, but now are apparently expected to hold 50 bucks worth of battery-operated toys, plus a whole truckload of assorted candies and doodads.

I agree with you in principle, Duck Duck Goose, however it’s not purely a capitalist plot. My grandparents were Greek, and in the Greek Orthodox faith, Easter is as significant (if not more so) than Giftmas… err, I mean Christmas. For them, gift-giving is part and parcel of Easter.

Stranger On A Train, I’m with you on this one though. Between the public holidays on Good Friday, Easter Sunday and Easter Monday, that leaves only one shopping day for the whole four days. Easter Saturday. It is worse than Christmas Eve, Mothers’ Day eve and Fathers’ Day Eve combined.


If it makes you feel any better, many years ago, my cat came home with a dead bunny in its mouth Easter morning.
Cat 1, Easter 0

I, personally, love Easter even though I’m atheist. I just get a chuckle out of the fact that all of these Christians are giving their kids fertility symbols in the shape of bunnies and eggs, and that Easter was a Goddess before Jesus learned to tie his shoes. It’s amazing to me that these lovely pagan traditions have survived for so long. Someday they may even regain their initial significance.

The bars closing, however: boooooo. Bad form.

I work as a waitress in an Indian restaurant and I have to work tonight. Either it is going to be really slow or it is going to be busy and full of Asians who tend not to tip as well. :smack:

I spent the morning eating candy.

I agree that there should be some places open on Easter Sunday. It does depend on where you live, though. There’s a small plaza near me in which the pharmacy, convenience store, and Dairy Queen were open today. They had shortened hours, but at least they were open.

I was raised Catholic but don’t practice it. I celebrate Easter instead as the beginning of Spring, which is nice and refreshing after the kind of winter we had here this year. We had fun today eating pieces off our choklit bunnies and decorating Ukranian Easter eggs. :slight_smile:

Hey–that bunny died for your sins. Have some respect.

Anyone have a link to that church here in Pittsburgh where they had the pastor beating up the Easter Bunny during Easter Sunday services?

I thought John the Baptist was in charge of Jesus’ shoes. The entire “…his sandals I am not worthy to unbuckle” thing.

[Bill Hicks]

I was glad to see the Australians celebrate Easter just like we do: commemorating the death and burial of Jesus by telling children a giant rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night.

[/Bill Hicks]

As far as closing everything, I think that unless you don’t have enough people not celebrating to run your business, you should be open.

When I was growing up, one of our cats brought home a still-living baby bunny on Easter Day. We had to give the bunny to the Humane Society the next day.

I go along with the Easter basket things for my kids just because I remember being thrilled to get a basket of candy just for myself, and a few unexpected toys. However, I refuse to spend much money on them.

I realized this morning, though, that my kids probably don’t see the baskets the same way I did. My parents generally didn’t invest in candy very much, and any kind of dessert was only for special occasions. Most of the candy I ate was stuff I bought myself on bike runs to the local drug store, or it came in a Christmas stocking or Easter basket.

Hubby, however, insists on having chocolate on hand all the time. This means that we normally have a bowlful of Hershey’s Miniatures, Hershey’s Kisses, and other bite-size candy available to anyone who wants some, anytime they want it. In other words, my kids don’t have to go out of their way for candy. (For the record, both of them are drastically underweight, and have no risk of being overweight any time in the near future, despite the ready availablity of candy.)

My mother sent an Easter Envelope to my kids. It had a couple of neat tops in it, along with a couple of handsful of candy. However, the candy was completely inedible, in part because most of it was chewing gum (Why my mother insists on sending chewing gum to two kids with braces is beyond me…), and in part because it was cheap. I try to get only candy that is available ONLY for Easter (like Cadbury Cream Eggs), AND which tastes good.

In France, the tradition is that the Easter Bells drop candy into houses on Easter Eve. No one I met there had ever head of the Easter Bunny.

What really made Easter different for me when I was living in France was the fact that Gummi Fish were the major Easter treat. Candy fish is virtually unknown in the US.

Only place closed around here was a small haircut shop and a small vacuum cleaner repair shop. Eveything else - book stores, drug stores, bagel shops? Open.

Rome burned because Julius Caesar insisted on smoking in bed.
Actually, Cleopatra was smokin’.
As is well known.
:wink: :smiley:

You don’t have chocolate fish in the States? Man, the terrorists have won. {For those unfamiliar with the delicacy, chocolate fish are, well, piscine in appearance and have a hard dark chocolate exterior and pink marshmallow on the inside}

The claim that the word “Easter” derives from a Germanic goddess is, at the very least, highly suspect.

Beware the negation of German goddesses, lest a Nor Easter descend upon you.

Rabbits aren’t too PC in Australia these days. From this page

Further information about the Easter Bilby and where to buy your chocolate bilbies can be found on this page

What I find irritating is the way the holiday takes over all the various TV channels. Even the “Hitler Channel” is obsessed with this crap and runs programs which have only the barest resemblance to what the channel’s supposed to be about.