My right foot has been hurting for awhile, and so I visited a General Practitioner in NY who suspected I had a neuroma (a swelling of nerve tissue). He recommended a visit to the podiatrist, and I went today. Sure enough, I do indeed have a neuroma (the podiatrist squeezed my foot, sending a burst of white-hot agony through my body) and I received two cortisone shots into my foot: one right into the top, about an inch back from and between my third and fourth toes, and the second into the bottom of my third toe. IT BURNED LIKE FIRE and I was grabbing the headrest of my chair, twisting and screeching and yelling “FUCK” from time to time. When he stuck the needle in and hit the nerve, it sent a jolt of electricity through my body as though I’d stuck my finger in a light socket.
Thanks to the magic of codeine and other modern pharmaceuticals, I am currently okay, but still limping. If the cortisone doesn’t work, I’ll have to get an alcohol injection to kill the nerves (which creeps me out) and/or surgery to remove the neuroma, which my podiatrist really wanted me to avoid if possible, because I’m so young that if I end up with scar tissue I’ll be in bad shape for decades to come. I guess all we can do is wait and see.
Seriously y’all, take good care of your feets. They hurt like a bitch when you don’t. Wear good shoes that fit and be nice to your podiatrist so he’ll put you on plenty of painkillers for when he sticks needles into your toes.