Thanks to my wife, I am now known around the house as The Wumpus . Sigh. It’s fits, I suppose 
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You know, there are some guys who cultivate an air of danger, and then there are guys like me.
There are guys who always seem to be surrounded by hot skanks they find in bars, and then there are guys like me who are surrounded by happy puppy dogs who take one look and know that if they approach me, they will get petted and pampered. Dogs know dog people, and puppies have seen me from halfway across the Boston Common and come running to scrounge for treats. I am a total puppy sap.
OK, I like the Wumpus. I’ve been doing impressions of him and quoting all his lines from the day I first saw him, so maybe I’m to blame for putting that thought into Mrs. Fresh’s head.
Although just once in life, I’d like to give off an aura of sensual danger, ya’ know? Just for a day. 