Polaris is now ten months old. Her puppyhood was rough-- she was taken from her mother right after birth and dumped at the pound. We adopted her at five weeks old. She was terribly sick. It took a long time for her to accept being held or cuddled. (It’s still not her favorite thing in the world, but she’s getting better.)
Despite my efforts at socialization, she’s afraid of other people. She darts away if anyone tries to pet her-- she won’t even take treats from strangers.
She’s also afraid of new objects. I brought a space heater into the bedroom last night, and she ran from it. She darted forward a couple of times, approaching it in a fear-crouch and then jumping back. My husband sat on the floor beside it to try to show her it was harmless, coaxing her to come to him with the same results. It was a good half hour before she became comfortable around it.
She’s also intensely attatched to me, to the point where she “turns off” if I leave her alone in a room. While I’m at work, I’ve been leaving her in the kitchen with food and water, a selection of toys, and a penut butter-stuffed Kong. When I return, I find the toys in the exact position I left them, the food and water untouched. She doesn’t even lick the penut butter out of the Kong! She just sits there until I return. (As soon as I’m back, she starts eating the penut butter.)
I guess I should be glad she’s not destructive, but it makes me sad to think of her sitting there for five hours, doing nothing but waiting for me to come back. When she was younger, I took her to day care during the day, but I need her to learn to be on her own in the house.
My older dog was timid when she was a pup, but she grew out of it. It doesn’t look like that’s going to happen with Polaris.
This one sounds really tricky - i have a few suggestions having had timid animals myself but to be honest your pup sounds at the extreme end.
Sounds like she really needs to get used to there being new things in her life and to learn that they are not threatening. I would go for the gradual conditioning route by introducing new things to her environment. This basically entails putting something new in a room, bringing her in and then shutting the door. Don’t leave her alone though - just sit quietly until she realises the new thing isn’t a threat and then try to engage her in play games until she feels more comfortable. Eventually try the same with people - have them around her but make sure they understand they are not to approach the dog. Let her come to them in her own time (it will probably take a looooong time).
As for ‘switching off’ - have you tried leaving a radio on or a recording of your voice? Lots of animals find that a comfort if they feel stressed about being left. Also - one of my dogs (they are all pound dogs) was very submissive - to the point that she wouldn’t eat unless expressly given the nod by the ‘pack leader’. So maybe she just needs the food and toys presented to her as **hers ** before you leave?
Maybe later think about getting another (very calm) dog to teach her all those dog things she missed out on but right now i’d steer away from that. She sounds way too timid.
Finally, don’t do any of the above if it seems to be stressing her too much. And maybe chat to your vet about some mild tranqs for situations where she will feel especially stressed.
I have done that. I trained her with the command “take it”. She was a little bit dominant (problems with nipping and growling) when she was little, so I taught her her “place” in the pack by making her sit before I gave her food or a treat. I put the bowl down in the kitchen, make her sit, and then give her access. She’ll eat while I’m still there, but as soon as I leave, she disregards the bowl.
I have an older dog who is as bold as brass, but it doesn’t seem to have rubbed off on Polaris. She watches the older dog approaching people, but still hangs back. When my grandmother comes over, as an example, she sees my older dog get petted and me get hugged, but still acts like Granny is a threat.
When you say threat do you mean she is aggressive or that she is just scared and wants out of there? If it is the former then it’s quite a problem but if it’s the latter then you have more to work with. My dog is mostly timid with new folks but aggressive towards people in uniforms - we think it’s something to do with hats! Fortunately we don’t meet many uniformed folks so it’s just a case of leashing her and acting dominant when she gets antsy.
Neither of my two cats will approach strangers who come into the house (the boy is an utter tart outdoors but that’s a different story ). If it’s someone who has been there a few times and has proven themselves to NOT be one of those kitty chasing types then the boy will come into the room for pats before removing himself. The girl is more timid and generally takes many many visits before she will even consider coming into the room. She won’t let anyone strange pat her though. For me that’s not a problem - just about respecting her space. The only issue i have is with being strict with visitors: “yes the animal looks cute but you may **not ** go and try to pat it”.
A similar approach to visitors might work - it helps if you explain the timidity issues and that by not approaching the dog they might be more likely to get to pat her. As i say, it all depends how she is showing her fear - aggression would be harder to deal with than just backing off.
She just wants out of there. If I’m holding her on a leash, she pulls and tugs to try to get away. If she’s off-leash, she does that fear-crouch, and darts back. She barks at people when she’s in her territory (which, for some reason, includes the car! If she sees someone walk by the car, she barks, but if they come near, she backs as far away as she can get) but never barks at people when we’re out for a walk.
She doesn’t show any aggression towards strangers, just fear. She had a bit of dominance issues when she was little, growling when we tried to pick her up, for example, or nipping when we tried to put on her collar, but we seem to have worked that out. I think it was just fear and that she wasn’t handled as she should have been when she was a baby, (She spent the first five weeks of her life locked in a cold cage.)
About the “shutting down” thing… have you tried making your leaving less of an event. What I mean by this is that sometimes a dog gets a lot of attention and love right before you leave–then suddenly you’re gone. So they go from two extremes. Maybe you can put Polaris in the kitchen with her toys about a half hour or so before you leave. Then stay around, but don’t interract with her much. That will give her time to slowly move into “away from mom” mode. My dog trainer recommended something similar. I used to give mine treats and hugs before I left and they would always cry and moan when I walked out the door. The problem was they were going from the extreme of lots of attention to the extreme of me gone with nothing in between.
Also, my dogs are crate trained. They seem to feel much more secure when I’m gone when they’re in their comfy, secure crates. If you don’t like the idea of locking her in a crate (though dogs don’t seem to mind as much as humans would), you can get her used to the crate as a safe “den” for her, then put her in it in the kitchen but leave the crate door open. If she sleeps all day in the crate and doesn’t play with her toys, that’s fine. My dogs mostly sleep when I’m gone. It’s better than the alternative of a dogs who freak out and start destroying things!
Also, don’t show worry or tension yourself if she runs from strangers. Make sure she has a place to go (like a crate or other “den”) to feel safe. Don’t reinforce her fear by giving her cuddles, soothing words, pets, etc., when she acts timid. If she runs off to her safe spot, just ignore her and go about your business. If she gets up the nerve to come out to you and see what’s going on, then you give her reinforcement. That worked with my more timid younger dog.
Other than those suggestions, it seems you’re doing a lot of good things. You may just need to accept that she will always be a bit timid. As long as she doesn’t turn into a fear biter, it’s okay for her to be timid. I worried for a while about my younger dog being too submissive and a bit timid before my mother pointed out that he’s a dog. I don’t have to worry about him becoming self sufficient or going out and holding his own in the work world.
**Mandy, ** I usually do put her in the kitchen a while before I go with little ado. I tell her “Guard the house!” pat her on the head, and put the gate into place. As I’m getting ready, I sometimes see her in there, sitting in the center of the kitchen, waiting.
She doesn’t seem upset or stressed to be alone. The only time she’s ever cried when I put her in there is if she has to go outside. She just sits there, quite patiently. She goes into the kitchen willingly when she sees me holding the baby gate.
As an experiment, Hubby and I let her loose in the upstairs while we went to lunch yesterday. (The kitchen thing started when she was a pup and I was worried she’d pee on the rug or tear up things. We’re slowly giving her more freedom.) She sat at the top of the stairs when we left, and she was still there when we got back.
I’ve only crated her at night-- during the day, she roams if I’m home, and stays in the kitchen if I have to leave. The crate is upstairs. (We’ve been letting her roam about upstairs at night, and I usually find her sleeping in it in the morning.) I’d move it down to the kitchen during the day if I thought it would help her at all, but I’m not sure.
Lissa, are there any clubs or groups in your area that offer agility training? I’ve seen firsthand some amazing success stories in building self-confidence in timid, poorly socialized, abused, or otherwise shy dogs. I’ve seen serious abuse cases go from crawling on the floor with their tails tucked to happily greeting strangers in as little as a month. Think of it as “Outward Bound” for dogs, and it can work for shy dogs in ways that traditional obedience or puppy kindergarten classes don’t.
You’d have to have a long chat with the trainer before you brought her to discuss her specific issues and handling procedures. Most agility trainers have experience with using the training for rehabilitation purposes so I don’t imagine most would object to her presence unless she’s a fear biter or could otherwise pose a safety issue to other participants.
Even if your dog is considered “well-trained” (and she sounds like it), obedience class or agility class is a great way for them to experience being around different dogs and people.
My dog is 3 and we’ve been in class for 3 years - so have most of the other dogs in our class. She’s (and all her classmates) well-behaved, is doing great off-leash, is really bright, but we still go to class just to be around other people and dogs.
So please don’t think obedience class is just for bad dogs. It’s sooooo not
btw i think Polaris is the official SDMB puppy. We have been helping raise her since she came home!!!
I’ll try to get some new pics up tonight. I know I bug you guys for a lot of advice, but I want to raise her right. I’ve always heard “There are no bad dogs, just bad owners.”
I asked her if she wanted to be the official SDMB puppy, and she said she’d prefer mascot if that’s not already taken.
I took her to day care for her first six months. The owner said that Polaris spent the first three weeks crouched against a wall, watching the other puppies play, but shying away if any tried to approach her. Finally, she warmed uo to playing with the other dogs. Boy, I had high hopes she’d do the same with people, but what happened is that if she was around individual people for long enough (the staff she saw every day) she would eventually allow them to pet her, but she was still somewhat skittish. New people sent her running.
Oh, crud, I forgot to say that she had obedience classes through the same place as her day care. For nine weeks, the instructor ended the class by asking all of the people to approach Polaris while I sat beside her and try to give her a treat. she eventually got to the point where she would dart forward and snatch the treat, but duck behind me to eat it.
). If it’s someone who has been there a few times and has proven themselves to NOT be one of those kitty chasing types then the boy will come into the room for pats before removing himself. The girl is more timid and generally takes many many visits before she will even consider coming into the room. She won’t let anyone strange pat her though. For me that’s not a problem - just about respecting her space. The only issue i have is with being strict with visitors: “yes the animal looks cute but you may **not ** go and try to pat it”.
