My Puppy Doesn't Like to Be Held

Polaris doesn’t like to be held or cuddled, which is hard on me, because she’s so cute, I can’t help but want to cuddle her! She writhes in my arms to be set free, and occasionally will bite me (we’re working on that part.) She’s not all that big on being petted, either.

Is this something that is just part of being a puppy, or will she always be stand-offish when it comes to being touched?

It’s been nine years since my older dog was a pup, so I don’t remember how she was, affection-wise. Maybe I’m misinterpreting normal puppy behavior.

What breed(s) of dog is she? Breeds, and individuals within breeds, will have differing temperments with regard to being held and petted. Chows, for instance, are noted for their aloofness, though the half chow/half yeller-dog pet that I had from puppyhood was quite affectionate to us, though shy of other people.

Some pups just don’t like being held and don’t seek physical affection. It sounds like yours may be one. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t have affection for you, but it just may be in other forms…you know, like biting you and growling. :stuck_out_tongue:

Stranger

We have that same problem with our little girl Bella. We’ve had her vet look at her and he says it’s just her personality. We love her anyways, when she’s ready for affection she lets us know! She’ll dig and dig at your hand or kiss you. Other than that, she has to come to you. We thought maybe she was abused in her last home, but I witnessed her in their house and she seemed fine. It’s just personality. Our other little one is the most affectionate pup you’ll ever meet though, so we know it’s not how we’ve raised her (we got her when she was about 6 months old). But she makes up for it in other ways, she does some of the funniest and cutest things I’ve seen. It’s probably just personality, of course the biting will go away when she gets older, just keep scolding her for it.

Good luck!!

My first pug was like that, and she developed into quite the little alpha bitch. She was loving in her own way, and very intelligent, but she just wasn’t into the whole cuddling thing. She was happier fetching balls and wrasslin’ and establishing dominance over our other two little pug bitches.

No one knows what breed she is. We rescued her from the pound. She’d been abandoned there, shortly after birth, and was only five weeks old when we got her. Her litter was overdue to be put down which is why we got her so young.

The vet thinks there might be some golden retriver in there because she had an ear infection and they’re prone to it. There might be some sort of spitz or other small breed-- something with a curly tail. Her eyes have gone from blue to green.

Here’s the little squirt three weeks ago. (There are links to other pictures when she was younger, if you want to see them. There’s quite an “awwww!” factor.)

She’s a very energetic pup, very bold (with us, at least) and independant. She will let me pet her if she’s on the floor, but will often get up and move after a few minutes as if it irritates her a little. She will not be held on your lap, and always struggles to get free. She will submit to being snuggled while being carried, but wants down as soon as possible.

I’m not used to this. My other dog wants to be cuddled as much as possible.

But maybe she’ll grow out of it.

Oh, what a cutie patootie! Auggie, The Cutest Dog on the Planet ™, is not the most affectionate guy, either. We found him on the side of the road in a ditch when he was about 6 months old, so we have no idea about his background. He will come to us when he wants to be petted, and he loves having his ears rubbed, but only when he’s ready.

 Oddly enough, I was down with a bad back and subsequent surgery for a few weeks a little over a year ago.  He didn't want to leave my side during that time.  He would go outside to do his potty business, but would always come right back in and was more affectionate then.  He could lhave sensed that I wasn't feeling good, or he could have been hapy that I was home all day to keep him company for 6 weeks.

It sounds like you’ve got yourself a bit of a dominant dog on your hands there Lissa. But the good news is she lets herself be carried around, so she’s not obsessive about it. And other good news is maybe you’ll not have to worry about separation anxiety.

She is one cute little pup. From the profile shot (and no real good reason) I think she might have Australian Shepherd in her. Aussie Shep and Goldie. (Sure! Why not?) “Energetic, bold and independant”, yeah, I’m sticking with my call of Aussie Shep and Goldie. Good luck with that.

I just have to say . . .
SHE IS SO DAMN CUTE!!!

:smiley:

My adorable kitten is the same way. She hates being touched, petted, held, and sometimes, even looked at. I think she’s autistic. It’s a real drag. I can’t resist her adorable self, but it’s a daily bloodletting. We’re bummed out big time.

The only trick I know is to make sure all four paws are supported. Make them feel they’re standing on something, not dangling. Tried feeding the pup while she’s on your lap?

Part of the problem might be how young she was when you adopted her. Ideally, a puppy should stay with it’s littermates till at least 6-8 weeks (I realize this wasn’t an option, so din’t feel bad :slight_smile: ) because that’s when they learn how to…well, be a puppy. It’s when they learn how to socialize, play, etc.

Your youngin unfortunately didn’t get that chance to learn how to be a puppy, so that might be part of the reason she’s (he?) is a bit standoffish. Might just not be sure how to act.

Of course, what everyone else here has said so far might also apply. Breed temperment, personality, etc.

Out of my 3 cats, we have an absolutely gorgeous tuxedo cat that is the same way. Can’t stand being held, isn’t a big fan of being petted unless it’s on her terms etc…and I know for fact it’s not cause she was seperated too early from her litter. Her mom is one of our other cats, and our third is her brother, so she never left two of the cats she was born with. Just the way she is. We love her all the same. :slight_smile:

My pup Jasper (8 months old on 4/2) doesn’t like to cuddle either. He does like to wrestle. He likes it when I grab him from above and flip him over (gently.) I’ll also pretend to lie on top of him (never putting my full weight on him, of course), with just enough weight that he can still squirm out from underneath.

He’s not cuddly. But he’s started to come up and sit next to me and wait for me to stroke his back. He’s started to come flop down by my feet (sometimes on top of my feet) when I’m sitting and knitting or reading. And he’s always up for belly rubs.

Give Polaris a little more time. Young puppies get overstimulated sometimes by petting and play. Jasper’s more amenable to petting when it’s late and/or he’s tired. And by petting, I mean long, slow stroking motions from head to tail. Sometimes, when I start stroking Jasper like this, he’s wiggly and mouthy. But after a few minutes, he’ll start to relax into it, and he’ll enjoy it then.

A dominant puppy is a lot like anal sex. Be gentle, be patient, and all good things will come in time.

Note: do not attempt to lube puppy

Must… bleach… brain… :eek:

You . . . uh, . . . er . . . .

Ahem (Tries to maintain composure.)

She does have some dominance issues, which we’re working on. I’d been using the “dominance roll” but my new trainer dissaproves of this approach.

She suggests a restraining cuddle in which I pick up Polaris, turn her over onto her back and coo at her when she stops struggling. She does submit to this-- albeit with somewhat poor humor.

Ironically, my husband chose her because of her apparent submissiveness. She was shy, and hung back when he looked at the litter at the pound. He turned her over onto her back to see how dominant she was, and she didn’t even struggle a bit. Considering our older dog is extremely dominant with other dogs, we thought we’d hit the jackpot.

When we brought her home, she was the sweetest little cuddle baby you can imagine. She slept curled up on our stomachs and wanted to be petted and loved as much as possible.

Turns out, she was sick. After a few vet visits, she was full of piss and vinegar.

I guess it’s good, in a way-- she has no seperation anxiety. I can leave her at day care, and she’s so intent on playing, she doesn’t even realize I’ve left.

I just finished Temple Grandin’s new book Animals in Translation. She’s not an animal trainer per se, but she has some interesting insights into animal behavior.

One thing she says is NOT to do a forced dominance roll. In other words, don’t do like some of the books say and force your dog down. She says (and this makes sense to me, somehow) to reinforce submissive behavior like you’re doing. If you have a dog that loves tummy rubs (like my Jasper) you’re home free. If not, make the experience as pleasurable as possible for the dog.

With my old dog Sasha, (a VERY dominant dog), we even put this on cue as she got older. We could give the command “Tummy!” and she’d flop over and expose her tummy for rubs. I’d tried dominance rolls with her before that, and they just pissed her off. She showed great restraint in her youth by not biting me A LOT for some of the stupid things I did with her.

Dammit, I miss her. :frowning:

My dog wasn’t much of a cuddler as a pup either. But after some years she has developed into one. But it did take four or five years for her to become really affectionate. Now (after eight years) she knocks me over to give me love.

She looks a lot like my Australian Shepherd did as a pup.

Eh, we have a very dominant Westie who insists on being held at times. So I don’t know if that’s it, either.

FWIW, Maggie, my kitten, won’t let me hold her either. She’ll cuddle, snuggle, purr and rub up against you, but she goes apeshit if someone tries to hold her. Who knows?

(Polaris is a real cutiepie!)

Hiya :slight_smile: follow your trainer’s advice. You may have a dominant pup on your hands, or, really, just a pup.

Puppies go through really REALLY weird stages, I swear. I have a cuddlebug 7 month old aussie right now who went through the “Mom, not in front of my friends!” phase a few months ago. Now, he’s back to being snuggly.

Give it time. At this age, she may be more interested in seeing the world. Sometimes cuddling is a maturity thing. :wink:

If you want to spend cuddle-like time with her, set your paws on “Getting in TTouch with your dog” by Mrs Tellington. I’m not saying I’m a believer in T-Touch, but it’s a good manual for learning some basic doggy calming massages. Helps create a nice bond with high-strung pups, honestly!

Good luck! Polaris is adorable!