I have an ass migraine.

[Marlitharn]

I’ve had that! It never lasts two or three days, though; with me it’s more like my ass goes into sudden spasm, causing me to jump and gasp like I’ve just been firmly goosed. Trying to fend off concerned inquiries from bystanders is lots of fun.

[billfish678]

@Hunter_Hawk

I know you’re being jocular, but I’ve had an MD who specializes in spine and postural issues recommend that I get a series of massage therapy on my** pelvic floor**. She then proceeded to ask whether I’d prefer a male or female provider.

.

“floor buffers” will never be the same to me again.

[Derleth]

@Marlitharn

I’ve had that! It never lasts two or three days, though; with me it’s more like my ass goes into sudden spasm, causing me to jump and gasp like I’ve just been firmly goosed. Trying to fend off concerned inquiries from bystanders is lots of fun.

Just say it was the Ass Spasm Fairy and go for the gusto. Today’s offhand remark is tomorrow’s pride float theme.

[Jaglavak]

@Soul_Brother_Number_Two

…proctalgia fugax, anismus, or puborectalis syndrome…

Jaglavak dutifully makes yet another entry in the Big List of Stuff That Can Go Wrong With You That I Never Heard Of.

@Soul_Brother_Number_Two

Sends me to the colorectal surgeon. Who is a she. I am a he. A middle-aged he who is embarrassed about anything to do with his asshole anyway, now I got to show it to a, you know, girl.

You know, I’d have to consider just letting myself die of cancer instead. Tough call.

[Spice_Weasel]

I didn’t know ass migraines existed, but my ass and your ass should get together for a few drinks. I had a colonoscopy today.

For the love of god and all that is holy, my ANUS is BLEEDING!

(link to NSFW, bizarre, possibly funny cartoon, depending on your sense of humor… and yes, I tried to spoiler box it, but you can’t spoiler a link very effectively.)

[Soul_Brother_Number_Two]

Jag, you hear me, bro.

I love those cartoons, Olive!

[Shirley_Ujest]

@olivesmarch4th

I didn’t know ass migraines existed, but my ass and your ass should get together for a few drinks. I had a colonoscopy today.

For the love of god and all that is holy, my ANUS is BLEEDING!

(link to NSFW, bizarre, possibly funny cartoon, depending on your sense of humor… and yes, I tried to spoiler box it, but you can’t spoiler a link very effectively.)

My kids have been quoting, " My spooon is too big." for far too long and now i know why.

Thanks, ASSMIGRAINE GUY!

[Northern_Piper]

I hate to think what the aura looks like.

[koeeoaddi]

Thank youSoul Brother, this is the best migraine thread ever!

[chacoguy]

band name!

[Muffin]

I’ve been laid up with a pinched nerve for a couple of weeks. When I first read this thread, I thought “Muffin, you have nothing to complain about compared to that poor son of a bitch.” So Soul Brother Number Two, thanks for cheering me up. I sure hope that you heal up.