I just received in the mail a glossy, well-produced invitation to enjoy a free meal (the photograph of such are enticing!) and an “educational presentation” to be held at a local upscale restaurant.
What are they selling, you ask? Time shares? Financial services? Nope.
This:
“Pain relief without the use of drugs or surgery.”
I have no plans to attend so I was hoping one of you could tell me what I’ll be missing.
Does it require you to bring a spouse and/or a credit card?
What you’ll be missing is an intense and unceasing sale’s pitch, and my bet is that it will be BEFORE you get your food so that you don’t get up and leave right after eating.
Will it require you and/or your spouse to sign a non-disclosure agreement?
It sez I can bring a guest.
Yes but what miracle are they selling?
Is there a company name?
Good question. I didn’t even think to look.
[Moments later]
Oh, you’ll love this: Happy Valley Regeneration! Google tells me they are into stem cell therapy.
I wonder why I was selected. I have no particular pain problems (knock on wood!) at the present.
Is there free booze?
I could sit through a hard sell marketing pitch about somthing I care nothing about, if the food is decent and the wine is free!
Guy sits down at a bar, and hears someone say “That’s a great jacket you have.”
He looks around, but there’s nobody near him.
The bartender comes by and he orders a beer. Then he hears “Nice choice, I like their IPA.”
He’s very confused, because there’s still nobody near him.
The bartender comes back with the beer and the guy says “I’m hearing someone talk to me but there’s nobody here.”
The bartender says “Yeah, that’s just the bowl of peanuts.”
“They’re complimentary.”
I can’t top the peanuts joke, but the Complimentary Dinner invite I get a few times a year is always for financial/retirement planning.
Are people ever actually ‘cordially’ invited to dinners that don’t turn out to be murder mysteries?
Only if Miss.Marple, Hercules Poirot or Jessica Fletcher are invited, too.
I was invited to one once. It was for a funeral service.
Perhaps they want your stem cells. This restaurant isn’t near a clinic, is it?
There are also hearing aid pitches to go along with retirement planning, timeshare selling and funeral service promotion at these “complimentary meal” functions.
Anything short of a multi-course meal at an upscale steakhouse, I wouldn’t consider it.
Lots of scammery in the stem cell therapy biz. “Free dinners” are part of the come-on.
If they ask for a credit card number for “I.D.” at the door, walk away.
Gotta be time shares IMO.
Magical pain relief, Heinlein reference, likely fraudulent stem cell therapy…all this needs is a machine named after an Ayn Rand character and a promotional blurb by Peter Thiel and you have a perfect SiVal venture capital pitch!
Stranger
Yeah, I get them four or five times a year. Usually to be held at Ruth’s Chris Steak House.
And I’ve been retired for ten years.