I have discovered a new personal portal to hell

It’s sitting through a kitchen design and estimate.

Oh.

My.

God.

If I sit through one more of those, I’m going to run screaming out the door, raging incoherently about plywood and particle board and stains and faces and base cabinets and maple and birch and trash can kits and assemblages and accessories and 10 7/8" this, 6" deep that…I just want a new fucking kitchen. At this point I’ll just keep all my soups and brownie mixes in boxes on the floor, drink water from the aquarium, BBQ everything (including those brownies) and be FINE.

Really.

[sub]my head hurts[/sub]

My sympathies. I’m pretty sure you’ll not like my approach, but so far, I’ve just avoided finer living.

Good luck with it.

Heh.

Plywood is cool!

Tripler
Go oak. It’s the only true way to go.

We’re going maple. Because I said so.

(And because I don’t want to think about this EVER AGAIN…I repeat: Oh. My. God.)

You have my sympathies, Ruffian. My mother is one of those people who actually likes that sort of thing. :eek: And she makes anyone in the house listen to her New & Improved Kitchen Plan.

Here’s what I did:
Get the catalogue and price list from the store.
Measure your kitchen and appliances.
Design it yourself.
Draw up your own plans.
Take them back to the store.
Say “We want this”.

Saleswoman checked it over, and tried to sell us a couple of extras, but we were firm because we already knew exactly what we wanted. We took her advice on getting an end panel for the washer/dryer slot, and that was about it.

You think that’s bad…

My father is a woodworker and he offered to build our cabinets in my tiny kitchen because we couldn’t by stock due to the dimensions…

O

M

G

Do you want this molding or that molding? Do you want me to counter sink the nails or use this type of nail. If you use this wood on the front and a cheaper onthe back it will save you money and I can stain it with this stuff…

What are you gonna do about this when xyz is done…

O
M
G
And that was 13 years ago. I’m still traumatized.

I’m in the final stages of refitting my entire kitchen. Let’s go over the sordid details:

  1. SINK[ul]Old One: Single shallow incredibly stained porcelain basin with semi-attached old concrete laundry tub and shared faucet that wasn’t centered over the sink. Tub was covered by lame-o wodden drop in cover and the concrete had cracks in it. Whenever the line would stop up, back flow would fill the tub and leak out of the cracks fouling everything stored underneath the tub, as in nice Le Creuset terrines and Descoware souffles.

New One: Cast iron white enamel porcelain Eljer with four holes that include a single handle Victorian style pump Kholer chrome faucet, a Kitchen Aid hot water dispenser and side spray. Still need to find a cute soap dispenser. Wire racks in the bottoms of both sinks and drop in strainers and dish racks round out the scene.[/ul]2) STOVE[ul]Old One: Crappy four burner with barely functional oven and single broiler. Pilot did not work for half the burners. No window or light for the oven and a storage compartment on one side.

New One: O’Keefe & Merritt four burner with central griddle and candle flame jets that will boil a pot of water in minutes flat. Lighted window oven with lower broiler. Second “grillevator” broiler on the other side with pan storage below it.[/ul]3) CABINETS[ul]Old Ones: One cupboard for dishes next to the sink and another over the concrete tub for condiment storage. One big one over the refrigerator for bulk foods and dishes. A twin door on the floor under the sink for other pans. All of them mismatched and crappy. The biggest one was pulling off of the wall.

New Ones: Custom designed by myself and built by the owner. All matched natural finish spar varnished Ipswich stained pine with glass doors and double shelves. All cupboards are set high for a tall-person kitchen. New sideboard has large bull nosed countertop with tall wing cupboards on each side and a microwave hutch under it plus pan storage below that.[/ul]4) DOOR[ul]Old One: Extremely cheesey accordian folding wood panel slider with cracks in it.

New One: Full frame solid wood with three lights of glass and full latch hardware (soon to be refitted over to handle style from door knob). The door was found sitting out on the street for free by yours truly.[/ul]5) LIGHTING[ul]Old One: Hotel style single 8" milk glass globe directly mounted to 11’ ceiling and very difficult to relamp.

New One: Swag chain hung ribbed glass metal rimmed dome fixture with oversized globe bulb. Matches identical model in the bath.[/ul]
The entire kitchen has been fitted out with Ikea’s Grundtal stainless steel restaurant style racking and hang points.

The sideboard’s wall was done in eight foot high beaded paneling stained and varnished over to match all of the cabinetry (by yours truly). All cupboards and undersink have chrome wire slide out baskets or standing racks to concentrate small items. The nine story spice rack is back in place and the Grundtal rail system displays all my Le Creuset uranium orange pans to great effect.

Can you tell that I’m so happy my ears are clapping? Yes, it was agony. Yes, there are still little items like the doorway thresholds and installation of the window box herb garden (gotten for free from a neighbor’s tearout). I finally have a functional kitchen after waiting for more than a decade. I could squirt.