What, that I used to get steady lovin’ or that I ain’t gettin’ none now?
You are funny. You make me laugh. . . 
Cripes. I just don’t get it. I wear BDUs (the cammie greens) which blend into the trees. You’d think I’d get a wink or two up here, bceause there are no trees and I’d stick out like the Green Giant, but no . . . I swear, the women up here are barren. And wierd. . .
Tripler
Did I mention they have funny accents?
Why didn’t you come to Old Town with pldennison, peta tzunami, sqrlcub, dcnewsman, jess, lucretia, bluesman, RT, falc, weirddave, olent, mrs. olent, captain amazing, althea and myself (sorry if I’m missing anyone)?
And sara, the babes aren’t barren where I am, but then most of my female friends are online . . . which says something about me.
I just have to figure out what that something is.
Wow! I didn’t know I was a ‘mission critical asset’ to Falcon!
Cripes. You’d think she’d lock me behind bars, and post a 24 hour guard to keep me for herself!
Tripler
Oh God, now she’s stringing concertina wire. . .
Oh hon, if I could… grins
considers a trip to ND to keep an eye on Tripler 
Obviously, that you ain’t gettin’ none now.
Try wearing the real uniform. Any punk with a bank account can by some cammies; you need the brass. I forget what branch you’re in, but those Air Force/Navy/Marine uniforms are sexy as hell.
Punha - on the same boat, my friend. We’ve gotta come up with a plan. AYPWIP?
Dear Falc, if that’s all you’re going to do to him, why not send someone who could . . . um . . . give him slightly more? An eye is lovely, but a tongue is so much better.
GDRLH
iam, listen buddy, you are not helping the situation here. Are you trying to get me imprisoned here? Is this a setup? Are you working for Falc?
Nacho I just don’t wear my Air Force service dress. I guess I should. I’ll get some professionally done. I still don’t think it’ll help . . .
Tripler
Oh I’ve got a demand on the market, there’s just no supply!
Uhh, professional pictures done, that is. . .
Yes. ::Falc bonks punha really hard on the head:: Er, um, ah, no.
Um, huh? NMSQT to you. AYPWIP?
In order for me to answer you, first I need to have any semblance of what AYMWIP means. My best guess so far:
“Are you planning/plotting what I’m planning/plotting?”
My uniform has not seemed to be any good for me. I currently am on a 20 year, 11 month and 5 day streak…
Sofa King, maybe the reason you aren’t getting as many responses as you may have hoped is because you have no picture on the People Pages?
and
Dang it! I knew someone was going to ask what I look like, and other annoying details of my personal life. Women seem to insist on such things before they decide to have sex with random men they meet on the Internet. We’re so distrustful these days, not like when you could just walk into a darkened room and wind up having sex with anyone at all with no repercussions whatsoever, for free. Boy, do I miss those days.
I fancy myself as looking rather like Toulouse-Lautrec with a permanent hangover and horns. Only shorter.
Well, actually, I look more like this. I’m the one with the moustache and the blank, agave-inspired expression of enlightenment. That’s burning insightfulness you see there. No, really. I did not have sexual relations with those women that holiday night, and in particular I did not have sexual relations with them both at the same time, with a bottle of chocolate syrup and a live band playing Tito Puente around our Jello-filled waterbed, while a disco ball spun with lasers trained on it and Britney Spears was taking notes for her coming-of-age gathering to which I was not invited. I did not because either a) I already did with one and it ended in horrific disaster; b) one of them is way too smart for that; c) I drank a whole bottle of tequila and was not cognizant of my surroundings at the time; or d) all of the above and the Coen brothers, too. How do I post my mug on the People Pages, evilbeth?
And thanks for pointing out which way my sexual compass points, Esprix. The one time I failed to wear galoshes out in the rain, I wound up having to buy a $450 bus ticket to a Bush rally. That ain’t happening again.
Just send your pic to SDPeoplePages@yahoo.com and be sure to include your username.
Do you still have all that hair?
evilbeth asked
Yeah, that picture was taken about a month ago, just after I got my first trim in two years. You probably know how some people are: they forget to change the oil in the car; forget to return that Erol’s rental of Bad Lieutenant from 1995; forget to pay the water bill; forget to pay the IRS; forget to cut their hair or shave; forget you have a vacation trip coming up and you’re due to be in Venezuela in seven hours; forget to eat; forget that despite the fact that they hit every search profile known to the law it won’t be a problem to bring cigar-house cured marijuana direct from Barbados to the Customs officers in Florida. Heh. Dog couldn’t stand the smell of my socks. Woooo!
I was recently trained to bathe and launder my clothes, however. I’m particularly proud of that. And I’ve never forgotten that the best way to dismantle a Norden bombsight is to shoot your service .45 through the gyroscopes just before you bail out over Germany. I’ve never had to use that particular discipline, however.
I happen to have the only job in America I know of where long hair does not implicitly imply drug abuse, rock-stardom, or pornography. Instead, it implies commitment, responsibility, and a demand for respect. The fact that I in actuality aspire to the former and have serious issues with two of the three of the latter is not generally noticed immediately by my American Indian clients. Some of them actually understand that I can be all of the above without conflict. We should all be so thoughtful. I don’t think I am.
Long hair on a guy is also an excellent “asshole filter.” I never meet 'em anymore, because they see me coming first. It may prove harmful in these less enlightened times, but I’m rather attached to the locks. So long as I can figure out how not to swallow 'em when I’m sleeping, I think I’m gonna try to keep 'em for as long as I can. Plus, I love the women who like guys with long hair. You can deal with it? First point in your favor, in my book.
Picture is on the way. Now everyone can revel in my southern American plainess. I hope you are not overawed, ladies, in your quests to be the first to break the streak and bring me back to the land of the living. 'Cause that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? We’re all driven, or at least tempted, by the biological truth: faking it or not, we all want to pretend as if we are trying to make things better, to create opportunity, and to share intimacy with our fellow humans, aren’t we?
I happen to do it by being an ass.
Sofa King, the last time I felt as you do, I ran out and hired a hooker. It worked in the short term. Just don’t go anywhere near streetwalkers.
Sofa King, you are southern? As in Virginia or deeper in the south?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by iampunha *
Why didn’t you come to Old Town with pldennison, peta tzunami, sqrlcub, dcnewsman, jess, lucretia, bluesman, RT, falc, weirddave, olent, mrs. olent, captain amazing, althea and myself (sorry if I’m missing anyone)?
Because I a) didn’t realize that it was going on, and b) had a purpose to my trip that involved a friend who I’m worried about. sigh Didn’t do any good though, so I hanging out in Old Town would have been more productive.
evilbeth:
Bingo! You’ve spotted an “occupied Virginian,” as we were once known, or an Arlingtonian, to be more specific. I have a most surreal job in a most surreal area–inside the Beltway–and I live a most surreal life, which makes me more surreal than Virginian. But, I have a relatively staid Southern Virginia upbringing which completely contradicts everything for which I now work.
Who in Hell would trade that for anything?!? It’s fucking righteous! But it can drive you insane, too. There’s only so much manipulation, so much injustice, so much prejudice that one can swallow on a given day before one, well I, feel compelled to seek out the compassion of others. I’m not an American Indian by affiliation; I cannot seek such succor through the collective misery or success of my tribes. Instead, I screw like a racehorse, and it works, or at least it did. Sliding the Big O to someone is almost as cool as busting a case wide open, but then you’re sliding the Big O to everyone, aren’t you?
I’m sorry, Lizard, but I just cannot simply purchase such a solace. It must be consentual, mostly unprofitable, (and in my experience often ill-advised) to be worth its effort and more importantly worth the comfort. I’m looking for something a little deeper than mere sex, but not too much. Please don’t mistake me for a mature individual.
Welp, Sofa King, considering your pic and your posting style, I’d be more than happy to provide you a temporary solution to your problem if you could sell the idea to my husband.
(what’s awesome is…everyone thinks I’m KIDDING!)
Oh, and Tripler: I refuse to argue any more about your “am I hot or not” dilemma. I have played THAT game before. You know you are; I refuse to feed your ego.
Which is what Nacho and Falcon are for.
