I have GOT to get laid, dammit!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

Okay, doink-doink is funny.

Sorry I can’t help you, I’m waaaay South. But good luck to you in your, um, endeavors.

My advice to you is to definitely NOT read and of the sex threads in the Pit or IMHO, or you may completely lose your marbles. :wink:

62

Dammit. . . Too late. . .
Tripler
This just isn’t fair. . .

63

Sofa, sweetie, I have some good news for you.

  1. Desperation, in and of itself, is not necessarily unattractive. It’s actually kind of appealing, especially when coming from a good-looking long-haired man with a job, like yourself. You just need to modify your phraseology a little. Instead of saying to a woman, “I need to get laid, by anybody,” you say, “I would love to make love to you.” It’s still true, it just sounds much nicer. Don’t try this on too many women in the same establishment, though, or they could form a pack and kill you.

  2. Women get lonely and horny, too. You’ll find one.

64

Hey. I’m a young single woman in Baltimore who’s always up for dinner and drinks. I can’t promise you sex, but I’ll definitely hang out for an evening if you’re interested. I’m not even bad looking. What do you say, SK?

65

Well hi there, Althea. You must be a heck of a person to actually be willing to take a shot at meeting me. Here’s the rub, though: I don’t have a car, so I’ll need to arrange to meet you somewhere that is reasonably close to the train lines.

Despite my previous infantile fulminations, I do think that I have enough remaining self-control to avoid harassing you on a constant basis. Think hard about it, for awhile, and if you’re really interested in having a chat, drop me a line at shaitanSPAM666@hotmail.com , whereupon I’ll flow digits and facts. Leave out the “spam” part–that’s just to foil the e-mail sniffers out there.

66

Why don’t both of you, Sofa King and Althea, come to my Come Meet Anniz party on 3 February? It’s in Rockville, MD, and a lot of other DC/Baltimore Dopers are going to be there.

Some might even be getting laid that night. :wink:

67

Oh no! Well I hope you at least didn’t read the ones about using circus tricks and honey and whipped cream for BJs…

…or about having sex in the middle of ancient ruins during a driving thunderstorm…

::flees::