I wanted to send this when Swampy was pushing toadstools earlier this week, but I only found it a couple of minutes ago.
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A group of country neighbors wanted to get together on a regular basis and
socialize. As a result, about 10 couples formed a dinner club and agreed to
meet for dinner at a different neighbors house each month. Of course the
lady of the house was to prepare the meal.
When it came time for Jimmy and Susie Brown to have the dinner at their
house, like most women, Susie wanted to outdo all the others and prepare a
meal that was the best that any of them had ever lapped a lip over.
A few days before the big event, Susie got out her cookbook and decided to
have mushroom smothered steak. When she went to the store to buy some
mushrooms, she found the price for a small can was more than she wanted to
pay. She then told her husband, “We aren’t going to have mushrooms because they are too expensive.”
He said, “Why don’t you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty of them right in the creek bed.” She said, “No, I don’t want to do that, because I have heard that wild mushrooms are poison.”
He then said, “I don’t think so. I see the varmints eating them all the time
and it never has affected them.”
After thinking about this, Susie decided to give this a try and got in the pickup and went down in the pasture and picked some. She brought the wild mushrooms back home and washed them, slicked and diced them to get them ready go over her smothered steak. Then she went out on the back porch and got Ole Spot’s (the yard dog) bowl and gave him a double handful. She even put some bacon grease on them to make them tasty. Ol’ Spot didn’t slow down until he had eaten every bite. All morning long Susie watched him and the wild mushrooms didn’t seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success, and Susie even hired a lady from town to come
out and help her serve. She had on a white apron and a little cap on her
head.
It was first class. After everyone had finished they all began to kick back
and relax and socialize. The men were visiting and the women started to
gossip a bit.
About this time the lady from town came in from the kitchen and whispered in Susie’s ear. She said, “Mrs. Brown, Spot just died.” With this news, Susie
went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor
and told him what had happened.
The doctor said, “It’s bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call
for an ambulance and I will be there as quick as I can get there. We will
pump out everyone’s stomach and everything will be fine. Just keep them all
there and keep them calm.”
It wasn’t long until they could hear the wail of the siren as the ambulance
was coming down the road. When they got there, the EMTs got out with their suitcases and a stomach pump and the doctor arrived shortly thereafter. One by one they took each person into the master bedroom and pumped out their stomach. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, I think everything will be fine now, and he left.
They were all looking pretty peaked sitting around the living room, and
about this time the town lady came in and said, “You know, that fellow that
ran over Ole Spot never even stopped.”
