What was I thinking! Went nuts on a 38 cents a pound special about two months ago and they’ve been taking up freezer space ever since. One’s about 4 lbs and the other’s 8 -10 pounds or so.
I don’t even know how to cook ham. Can I barbecue them on a Weber grill. Will that kind of “smoke” them? What’s the recommended electric oven cooking temperature and time per pound for hams?
They’re so big and intimidating. I fear I don’t have the mad culinary skillz to handle them. Help please!
4 and 10lbs are giant hams in your book?
Man, you’d probably die of a heart-attack if you saw some of the ones we’ve cooked. 
Anyhoo… I’ve found that Hams are best slow cooked. Those monsters should fit no problem in your oven or BBQ. Just cook over medium heat until the internal temperture reaches… oh crap… I can’t remember what it is. I’ll post later.
BTW - Keep the hambone. Makes good soup! Keep the drippings from baking/roasting it too… the juices are good in the soup as well.
I can’t help you, but I love the thread title. Have you tried it as a pickup line?
Cooking threads go in Cafe Society, so off it goes.
Hmmmm.
I thought this was going to be a diet and exercise thread.
“You could park a car in the shadow of his ass.” ~ Geena Davis, in Thelma and Louise ~
Gotcha beat – 50 odd lobsters. There is such a thing as too much.
You could always make steamed hams.
Well they are pretty big… I…guess. Are hams bigger in Canada? I thought most animals were smaller in Canada because of the shortened growing season … ‘cept for Polar Bears of course. Isn’t it a fact that most Canadians top out at 5’ 1" or so? Isn’t Canada where all the dwarf animals you see in the circus come from? But back to the OP! Bernse I need help with my moderately sized (puny by Canadian standards) hams. Times, temperatures, seasonings. For the love of God help your cousin to the south.
Oh man, that’s way too funny!
Steamed hams are only fun if the Northen Lights are in your kitchen.
I like the Sarcasm. Not nearly subtle enough to be missed but not “in your face” so much to get seriously offended
FWIW - I gather your hams are cut from the whole ham. A ** Bernse Big Ass Ham** Weighs about 30 lbs or so and is the whole ham complete with leg bone in the middle. Been a while since I have cooked one but I’ll give you my $.02.
Trim the excess fat off it and bake it. Simple as that. Seasoning would be minor and personal preference but I never bother… they usually have a fair amount of salt already. A bit of pineapple is sometimes nice, but once again its up to you. If its one of those quarters/eighths is probably pretty much trimmed of excess fat so you may need to put a bit of water in the bottom of the pan that your baking/roasting it.
I go by look of it and actually don’t measure the temp inside, but I’d guess 250F or so in the center should be pretty safe. I don’t think I would want it any lower than that. I usually just make a deep cut and the meat should pull away from itself from the cut.
Recap - St oven for 375. Chuck it in a pan and bake it. Check on it in an 1-1/2 hours.
Almost forgot. When you slice it and put it on your plate, cover it in mustard. Mustard and home go extremely well together. That’s another reason I never bother putting any other seasoning on it at all, the mustard would just kill any other flavors anyhoo.
Ugh…
home=ham
Mix mustard and brown sugar and use it as a glaze.
For those playing along at home, an interior temp of 250 F would be inedible (overcooked). Joy of Cooking says simmer it first, 20-30 minutes per pound, till the interior is 165 F. Then bake it, with glaze or whatever. If it is a “processed” ham, temp is 160 F. If it is an “old” ham (aged for years, covered with mold) 150 F. FWIW.
“I would have made it, too, if it hadn’t have been for my lucky ham.”
Tim Conway.
I can’t believe no one has suggested ham pancakes. I hear tell cowboys love 'em.
Why A Duck,
Ha! Haven’t thought about that thread in a while!
I thought this was going to be about two actors you hired.
Mmm…ham.