So this is my first topic!
I want to make this as short as I can, because I just wrote it up and lost it. GAH! GAHHHHH!!!
How do I give back this sweater?
I had a boyfriend recently for about a month. A note: I’m kind of immature when it comes to dating/relationships because all I’ve ever really had were long relationships, despite the fact that I’m only 23.
But at one particular point in time I was single and a boy in a local IRC channel who I had met before but still barely knew asked me to the movies. I didn’t think we had anything in common but I figured, what the hell, I’ll go!
We wound up dating and then “going steady”, to use an amusing term. Then we wound up doing the same thing every night (staying in and watching game shows). He was pretty sick and never wanted to go out. I wasn’t very attracted to him but stuck around hoping that would develop, but it didn’t, especially not after he insulted me and made racist comments in front of me, and THEN denied he was racist. I was right, we really had nothing in common. When I’d tell my friends how he was treating me, they’d just kind of comment on what a shame it is that he is so sick and how he obviously cares about me and stuff. I wound up feeling like I should stay and maybe it would get better if he got better.
He’d complain a lot about his sickness, to which I’d respond accordingly: “I haven’t eaten in a week.” “Eat something.” “I can’t.” “Then you should tell a doctor, or your parents, or someone who can help.” “No.” Either that or it’d be "I haven’t slept in a week. “Take a nap.” “I can’t.” “Then you should tell a doctor, or your parents, or someone who can help.” “No.”
Then he wouldn’t talk about anything else but how sick he was. After so much of that, I stopped suggesting stuff. Any complaint, I’d just say “Sucky” or “That sucks” or “Bummer dude.” What else can I say? I’m 23 and I’m not ready to be a mother or a full-time doctor and not even get paid for it! Once online he was talking about it, and I said “Sucky” or something - and he stopped responding, and then disappeared from the internet for 3 days. He then came back and messaged my friend and told her that I didn’t call him anymore (note: I never call unless asked to - I hate the phone, and I’d call him only after he’d ask me to online). She suggested that he talk to me or email me, and he said he couldn’t do that.
I was actually kind of relieved that I didn’t have to talk about sickness and get insulted anymore, so I didn’t talk to him first, partially to see how long it would be before he’d talk to me.
He waited about three weeks, and then when I was talking to a funny guy I know in the local IRC channel, a random guy started making fun of us for our “nerd talk” and asked us if we were boinking yet. My so-called boyfriend laughed, agreed with him and quit IRC before I could respond! So I assume that’s the final definite breakup.
Now, I don’t hate this guy, but he is just not a good boyfriend for me. I have a sweater of his I’d like to give back, because I know it’s one he wore a lot and I’ve had it for over a month now.
I could either:
Call him or message him online or email him and tell him I have it and I’m willing to bring it back - but that would be awkward.
Or, and this is what I’m leaning to…
Give it to a mutual friend to give back.
I’d like to maybe write a note to stick in the pocket. A few options I’m considering -
a) Lighthearted:
“Hey, thanks for letting me use your sweater. Maybe you think I’m horrible but I won’t have you thinking I’m a sweater thief too!”
b) Informative - to let him know that HE stopped talking to me and not the other way around:
“Hey, I don’t know why you stopped talking to me, but that’s okay. I’ve had your sweater for a while, thought you’d like to have it back!”
c) Short:
“Thanks!”
d) No note at all.
So, does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can get this sweater back to this guy?
