Welcome aboard! Not so bad once you’re up, is it? 
Tell us about the cake - that’s all I’m interested in…
Happy Big 5-0 kambuckta! I had my midlife crisis at 50. That’s when six of us who had turned or were about to turn 50 went on a week long cruise and acted fools the whole week. Good way to have and get over a midlife crisis.
So, yeah, what kind of cake? That’s always the most important thing.
…if it’s a poxy jam and cream sponge with hundreds-and-thousands icing, I’m leaving…
C’arn kam! Cake up!!