Yes folks, it’s 10pm here in Australia (AEST) and at 4.00am tomorrow morning, I hit the big Five-O. Fifty fucking years old. Hiroshima Day for those with an historical bent, but for me, well it turns out that I’m now a geriatric.
Fifty.
FIFTY.
By golly, I’d better go write out my will and stuff, seeing as I’m ancient now! 
Fifty sounds like such a dirty word. Forty-nine sounded so much more respectable. 
Ha ha ha! You young 'uns don’t know how lucky you are!
You might be able to make it sound a little younger if you go with “fiddy”.
And happy birthday!
It’s so charming to see old folks using computers! Did your grandchildren help you get online today? 
Happy b-day!
Sorry, kam, I must inform you that most European museums would not let you pay the Senior charge at 50: too young.
Our apologies for any inconvenience this may cause.
Happy birthday, you old bastard. No doubt you’ll celebrate it with a VB. When you were a kid, you probably went out with the family to the local Choinese.
Don’t think of it as your 50th. Think of it as your 29th 21st.
The Seven Dwarfs send their best: Squinty, Itchy, Gassy, Saggy, Cranky, Snoozy & Gimpy.
Snow White died during a Botox session. And she was only 49.
How is 50 a half-ton?
A ton is 100 of anything – I think it’s more British and Australian slang, so people from the U.S. won’t have come across this term.
Wishing you a good day, a good year and a great life!
Have a happy one but keep your runny little nose of my lawn you damn crumb-cruncher you! 
I doesn’t matter child, it’s all downhill after 18 anyway.
Seems kambukta is sobbing and fetal-ed, somewhere in a corner.
Or else he’s died of old age.
Or else it’s 1:25 am where he lives, and it’s way past his bed time.
Happy Birthday!
Hre’s a birthday balloon for you:
Seriously though, I wish you a wonderful day, and many happy returns!
I guess that’s why I was confused. To me, a ton is 2000 pounds, so 50 would be “I hit the 1/40th of a ton in 6 hours”. Doesn’t really have the same ring to it.
I would have thought Kam was a bit long in the tooth for a sex change operation.
Congratulations you old fart … 
Happy Birthday! May you live to see another 50 years!
Thank you everyone for your kind?? words!
It’s a beautiful winters day here, the sun is shining, the chooks are clucking and all is right with the world.
It’s good to be fifty.
Just think 50 more years and you’ll get a telegram from the Queen (or King). And in you live another 100 years after that she’l personally come 'round and give you a bikini wax!
Congarats!