"I hope you're not one of those guys..."

Only if you think sex is for procreation. Mostly, sex is about companionship and bonding a couple so that when a sprog appears, there are two adults willing to put in the work of keeping it alive together.

Romantic, eh?

I am one of those guys but sometimes a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

Question:

What are these “alternatives” I hear of?

I’m not going down on her or fingering…that’s worse than sex…

I hope it didn’t spell REDRUM.

Whatever you want. If she objects, sigh deeply and say “I hope you’re not one of * those* girls…”

If this were an advice column, I would say that she really should’ve advised putting a towel down. That’s just common sense.

Having sex during my period helps the cramping sometimes. Sometimes I’m horny and sometimes I feel very ‘if you touch me I will throw up b/c I’m having a full body migraine’.

Luckily, The Fella is a trooper either way! :wink:

Kissing, stroking her skin, playing with her hair, vibrator, dildo, backrub, pedicure, steak dinner, watching you do the dishes…not necessarily in that order.

“I hope you’re not one of those girls who doesn’t like some things.”

Buttseck.

Really? Nothing?. Poop during sex would be less of a turn-off than blood?

Well what do you use the tarp for then?

I have a rhyme for this situation. “Put a towel down, and go to town!” I probably stole it from somewhere.

Why do tampons have strings?

so you can floss after you eat

I’m Similar. Rocking the red river is no issues at all.

Heh

When you find a woman who refers to it as “Blow job week”, keep her.

I would say they rank about the same on the “nope” scale.

With these alternatives the woman can be wearing a tampon or diva cup or similar* while you are doing them. Now if you’re really phobic about the idea of blood, that probably still wouldn’t do it for you, but it greatly reduces the mess potential.

*I have no experience of the style of cup you can have penetrative sex with, but one could do the other stuff with a diva cup in place.

There’s also pegging and DP pegging.

Or REBEW

:smiley:

I actually found a pic!