Good Christ, I can be be an idiot when it comes to hoarding weapons. First, let us get it out of the way that I am not particularly a fan of The Walking Dead. When it first became available on Netflix, I watched the first couple episodes from season 1 and decided it didn’t do much for me.
Fast forward to last week when my two adult stepchildren, who are fans, were at the house and watching more recent episodes. So now there is this motorcycle-riding hoopie asshole character (which gives me three reasons to identify with him right there) prancing around with a crossbow and this really, really, really cool knife.
All traces of judgement and maturity didn’t just go out the window. They boarded a rocket sled to hell. I had to have that knife.
One phone call to a very pleasant young lady and a few credit card numbers later, I am the proud future owner of a Team Gemini Light Brigade knife. Yes, I did ask for it in the same color scheme as Daryl F***ing Dixon’s in case you were wondering.
Now, if only I like that show as much as l like some of their props…
Darrel is one of the smarter, more consistently useful characters on the show.
Nice knife.
I’m wondering how come none of them have managed to aquire something like this, though. Or hell, even this.
I’d have something like this handy.
It’s not like they aren’t out there in various military surplus stores, outlet malls, and similar places.
Sitting with the kids through a couple-three episodes shows a preponderance of Gerber product placement when it comes to things stabby and slicey. Now, mind you, once upon a time Gerber was one bad mofo of a cutlery company. The tool steel early versions of the Mk I and the Mk II were some kick-ass knives. Their chrome-plated tool steel sporting knives from the same era were equally awesome.
The stuff in that show? Unless my eyes are even worse than I thought they were, it is the Made in China stuff I see for sale at Wally World. Chinese knives are not automatically bad, you must understand. AG Russell, for example, offers some Chinese made stuff that is absolutely the equal of anything Case or Buck has for sale. The Gerber Zombie stuff, though? It is, to be charitable, of indifferent quality.
Well, how good a knife/machete/sword/whatever do you really need to dispatch half-rotted zombies, anyway?
That’s actually a very good point. If the post-mortem photos at places like documentingreality.com and similar are used as our paradigm, we don’t need to spend more than $1.25 per piece on knives. Cheap-ass knives like one might buy at Dollar General are being used to kill the holy living shit out of people all over the world who aren’t even smooshey undead.
Well stated. The original stuff was badass. I had a MkI.
That knife reminds me of a Jimmy Lile knife from Rambo…
Okay, another thing about the teevee show. I think the woman who plays Carol is a MILF. The kids tell me that there is a budding romance between Daryl and Carol. The parallels between me and that hoopie sumbitch continue to pile up. I really want to like that show, but all they do is bicker and piss down each other’s necks without actually getting much in the way of practical survival accomplished. My ass starts to itch and I need to walk away about half-way through an episode.
A good saber or rapier gives you reach. I’d not want to get into biting range of a walker if I didn’t have to.
Of course, a good infantry spear would be even better.
Boar hunting spear would be best by that rational - long reach, and that doohickey that keeps the [del]boar[/del] zombie from crawling up the shaft to eat your face.
Yup. I recommended that very thing in one of the Walking Dead episode threads.
Melee weapons don’t need to be reloaded, they’re effectively silent, and they can be improvised out of items commonly available from hardware stores, and thus probably not “looted and/or scavenged” much during the “collapse.”
From what I saw of that show, the dead are pretty ineffectual even by zombie standards. They don’t move fast, can’t climb or jump, and are stymied by even minor physical obstacles. They also seem to be much smooshier than what my experience with corpses indicates should be the case. They aren’t a much of threat unless they jump out (Boogada-boogada-boogada!) in such close quarters that there is no time to react or unless they are present in huge numbers. Even though I spent an obscene amount of money on that knife, I think Walking Dead zombies could quite easily be dispatched quickly and silently 90% of the time with an Estwing long handled rock pick. I happen to have one around here that my brother, a PhD in Geology, gave me some years back. The hammer face will crush bone and collapse skulls and the pick will penetrate any part of a zombie you want penetrated with frightening ease. I slammed mine through the side of a 55 gallon oil drum with only a casual swing and left a neat square hole when I yanked it out.
Hmmm. A lighter and much more wieldy (less unwieldy? not quite right…) version of the horseman’s pick.
I’d like a bit more range, but overall, I like it.
Yet astonishingly, the characters on the TV show repeatedly find themselves getting outwitted by zombie hordes. How something that undoubtedly smells like a walking abattoir ever sneak up on anyone?
I mentioned spears in the thread about the most recent episode. Much safer than getting in close to plunge a knife into a walker’s brain!
They can’t kill the zombies on this program unless they whack the brain.
If I correctly understand the way things work on that show, puncturing the skull causes enough of the right kind of damage to stop a walker. If we’re talking spears, a jumonji yari would seem ideal. Slender, penetrative main point and cross blades to hold them off you if you miss the brain. On many, the pommel at the butt end of the spear is itself pointy enough to use as a weapon.
Yes, that would be a very appropriate and effective anti-zombie weapon!
Only if you were being attacked by one and only one zombie. Which never seems to happen. Any of the boar spear variations suffer from the “what do I do while my weapon is still plunged in a zombie’s body and I’m being attacked by three others?” issue.
Oh, I’m assuming that you’re with other similarly-armed people when confronting the zombies. Plus, you can have a sidearm like a gladius or cutlass to use if the spear gets stuck.
Or do like T-Dog (RIP) and pick up a spare riot shield or three. Pick a large, strong person as the spear carrier, and put two flankers on him with shield and sword.
Crikey, these aren’t exactly new tactics.