I received an email from my mother, telling me (us, it was to all her children) that her brother, Tom, has been diagnosed with lung cancer, and that it has spread to his liver.
Originally, they considered chemo, but they seem to have chosen not to treat it, as nothing will make much of a difference at this point. They don’t know how much time he has, but they will try to make his remaining time as comfortable as possible.
Tommy was always a character. Always playing his guitar and singing silly songs, sometimes with slightly blue lyrics. Always telling funny stories. Always the center of attention. Always seemed to have a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He owned Tommy G’s tavern in Cary, NC, for a number of years.
My younger brother’s middle name is Thomas, and his oldest child is Thomas.
Some kind thoughts for Tommy Eugene Fowler, folks? And to those of us who know and love him?
I had a grandfather who was terminally ill with cancer for some one and a half years, and I know that it’s hard to have a family member with limited time. My thoughts and sympathies are with you and your family, and I wish you the best with all the time you have left together with your uncle.
Since I’m also part of the family, allow me to express my part of thanks for the prayers and wishes. And add my memories of when Uncle Tommy lived close enough to us to be visited in a couple of hours drive. His lawn looked huge to us kids, canopied in green, with (oh, heaven!) a stream on the property where we could play with his collie, Big Dog (all his dogs were named Big Dog, I believe. He said he was going to name one Fine Rabbit Dog, but I don’t know that he ever did.). I recall my aunts chastising him for singing those questionable lyrics where we kids could hear. I recall being thrrrriiiillllled to be allowed to ride in his red convertible. I recall with admiration when he quit IBM in order to move back down south, open the tavern, go fishing, and cultivate facial hair of astonishing proportions. It made him a happy man.
Here’s to you, Tommy. Our love and our hearts are with you.
I’m so sorry that this has happened to Tommy and your family. I lost my favorite uncle in February to cancer (he was only 49). I opened a pit thread about it, and received one piece of priceless advice:
Tell your uncle now how you feel about him. Go to him if possible, or call, and reminisce with him the way you’re doing on the board. Give him a good laugh, and talk about the good times. Find out if he remembers the lyrics to some of his funny songs, and write them down. Ask him if he ever had a Fine Rabbit Dog.
You will be so glad that you did this. By the time I received that piece of advice my Uncle Tony was in a great deal of pain and not able to really understand me. I wish I had his recipe for Italian rice croquettes, and knew where to find the tree mushrooms he always picked and fried for holidays.
Enjoy the time you have left with your Uncle Tommy, and make sure he knows how he’s touched your lives.
I am so sorry to hear this, Dave darling. It is so hard to lose someone you love so much. I have walked this road before and it hurts. It hurts BAD.
It is especially hard when it is someone who touched your life in such a positive way. It sounds like Uncle Tom shared his “inner child” with you, and taught you to do the same with others.
Tell him you love him, tell him how much he influenced your life for the good, tell him you know he will always be with you because he is in your heart and always will be.
I hope that you will be lucky enough to experience a miracle, but if you don’t…I pray that your Uncle lives the rest of his life without pain…and with peace, love and joy.
Dave, you know that you have my heart, always…also my ear and my shoulder should you have need of either. Vent, cry, pound and rail about the unfairness of it all…whatever you need, you’ve got it. I don’t know you, SparrowHawk, and I am sure you have all the support you need…but the offer extends to you as well.