Just respond to every comment with ‘Oh my gosh, the same thing happened to me!’ Every comment.
I usually start out with “I don’t need to hear this”. Then it goes to “I have work to do and can’t concentrate”. From there it’s all down hill.
“I’m busy right now”
“I have a deadline and can’t meet it if you keep interrupting my concentration”
“I’m really not interested”
“Go away”
“leave me alone”
“leave me the hell alone”
“don’t make me repeat myself again”
“are you fucking deaf or stupid”
“die inhuman scum die die die” (well, not really but to illustrate the point)
After that, it is mostly incoherent screaming back and forth, I don’t get any work done, and then there is the mild scolding about tolerance and understanding. Meanwhile Mr/Ms. Theworldrevolvesaroundme has once again disrupted everyone in the place and gotten away with it (again).
I’m at work, to do my work and get paid. I really don’t give a shit about all the (probably) self induced problems and (probably) deserved pain you have. Ever think maybe people avoid you for a pretty good reason? Did it ever occur to you that maybe the reason you have so many problems is because you brought them on yourself, and it’s not because every other organism on earth hates you? Duh. Just Duh.
Just adding my bit to the OP. It looks like some of us have the same type of pitworthy “acquaintences”.
Would white vinegar in the spritzer bottle be wrong?
For that matter, rubbing alcohol with a Bic lighter prominently displayed on my desk… 
It’s been my experience that something about the military either attracts or produces persons with mule-hind-limb-removing verbal tendencies.
You must work in the land of Roland Deschain (aka Doppleganger).
And lo, it has come unto pass, with his own pit thread.
Tell him God’s done with him now.
What a world of lonely people.
I get them too–but they are also usually seriously disturbed, mentally.
Does anyone here know what a Boulder (as in Colorado) handshake is?
I am still puzzling over that one from college, many moons ago–I was walking around campus with my new roomate and this guy approached us and started talking and talking and talking.
The only thing I remember is that he wanted to give me a “Boulder handshake”.
I declined, and we parted (finally!)–but what the hell is it? Or do I not want to know?
I had a woman once who came to talk to my church group about women and the Bible for a class I led a few years back; she was a bit odd about some of those wacky OT girls, but afterwards, I had to tidy up the room, and she stayed to “chat”…
Turns out she (this woman) is convinced that the air around us is poisoned by particles that we can’t see. I interrupted her to say-“like pollution and smog?”, but no…something more insidious than that…something so heinous and evil that if defies description. She just knows that it’s there and look! she makes special face masks to sell–would I like one? Here is her complete sales line–and she whips out a briefcase full of the damn things!
I have the wrong kind of face, I tells ya–QS I feels yo pain!
I’ve done the foreign language thing, both French and Spanish, and they just respond, “Oh my god! I speak French/Spanish, too!” It especially backfired with Spanish, since that’s a fairly common language to be semi-fluent in. French had greater success, though there’s no stopping old ladies when they want to talk. It looks weird, too, when I’m reading, oh, say, The Norton Anthology of English Verse. Heh.
I have trouble maintaining closed body language, as well, since I’m basically a human raccoon. “That dog has a puffy tail! Here, puff! Here, puff!” describes my basic mental process when I’m in public. But now I have a goal – make myself look unfriendly. Grrrr.
Eureka! I shall become an investment banker and wear nothing but beige and navy, with perhaps shades of brown. I will also drench myself in hideously expensive, but perfectly hideous smelling perfume. Sure, I’ll probably die alone, surrounded by my cat-children, but them’s the breaks.
Maybe I should just buy headphones.
I recognize each individual word… but together, like that… <ungh>… nope… nothing.
For the magnitude of what we’re discussing here, headphones do. not. work. I’m pretty sure,(and sad about) the only thing that is going to work is the, “Get away from me.” line. Two things that disturb me about that is 1. You have to become rude to do it. 2. You will most likely NOT get the shrinking violet response from the person you have to say it to. What you’ll most likely get is something along the lines of, “Well, what kind of a bitch are you? All I was doing was trying to be nice. You don’t have to be such an asshole…blah blah blah ad nauseum.”
I’m getting good at the whole closed body language thing. Every day on the train I pass the time by watching a movie. I have those big noise cancelling headphones. Most of the time, people will wait until they have to before they sit next to me. I still get it about once a week, though. I’ll be engrossed in a movie, and someone, I shit you not, will sit down, wave their hand in front of my face, and make some remark designed to start a conversation…not just a yes or no answer. Their favorite two? “What are you watching?” followed usually by, “Is it good?” OR,“Wow. You watch a lot of movies. Do you do that netflix thing? Isn’t it great?” There’s one little guy that rides the early train that I try to avoid at all costs. He’ll keep talking even though I’ve put on my headphones, and keep trying to get my attention. He will do this for the entire hour and a half ride.
Tired of my life story yet? 
I just get carried away. I have no desire to talk to people on the train. I wish they’d leave me alone. I hate to be rude, but that’s what it’s coming to. It makes me rant like a lunatic. Thank you. I feel better.
Approprate user name.
mule-hind-limb-removing verbal tendencies: Some people can talk the hind leg off a mule! (or a donkey, as I have also heard it said)
ZipperJJ, that remark killed me.
I was reading this thread, and then realized that you have the exact same situation with strangers coming up to you and asking for directions, yadda. Or used to, dunno about now…
:smack:
See, and I was thinking he was refering to the previous donkey comment… and since that one whooshed me I figured, why even try.
:smack: :smack:
as is yours…or was the walrus Paul?
heh.
IMO, these folks are just lonely as hell–and I feel sorry for them, but not so sorry that I want to help them get thru their day as sounding board/therapist/confessor.
Anyone know a Father MacKenzie?
I laughed myself sick at this, I just want you to know.
As for me, I had a pathological liar/lunatic for a roommate. Within about 24 hours of moving in, I learned:
*She was diagnosed with several learning disabilities when she was a child, but God healed some of them
*She was schizotypal and obsessive compulsive (too bad she wasn’t OCD about cleaning)
*She had a yeast infection currently
*She had a relationship for years with a giant blue dragon she only saw in her dreams
*Her father was a rake and a cad, and her mother was the Virgin Mary
*She used to be SO pretty, but now she’d gotten fat
Man oh man. I spent that semester wondering what I’d gotten myself into.
We should start a support group. Or maybe not…I think those of us with “those faces” spend enough time listening to other people complain about their problems!
Although you’d never know it from my bitter and unpleasant online demeanor, I too have long been cursed with one of “those faces”. Apparently I look like a very sweet, nice, gentle girl who is just dying to hear about your sad, sad life.
I have to use public transportation a lot, which makes things worse.
The thing is, I do feel kind of bad for people who have only strangers to turn to for sympathy, but I’m not the freakin’ crisis hotline. If they need someone to talk to, they can pay for therapy like the rest of us. In fanciful moments I have entertained the idea of having business cards made up saying that I’ll listen to anyone’s problems…for $100 an hour.
A book does discourage some folk, but by no means all. I find it’s best to keep reading/working (or pretending to read/work) even if they insist on talking to you. Just go “Uh humn, that’s too bad. Well, I’ve got to get this done.” Then ignore them as best you can.
I think that’s a great idea. Pass them out to everyone bothering you.
Yesterday, I flew from Nashville to Cincinnati. Flight took about an hour. The fellow in the seat behind me was a loud non-stop talker. With a loud voice! His seat mate just made polite “yeah, uh uh” noises. I learned:
That he works with robots
That he rebuilds old farm equipment
That Jesus is the man
That he owns his own business
That he likes to get away and fish
That he works on milling machines the size of a tractor trailer
That he’s buddies with his minister
That this planeride is better than his last
That he’s masturbating like a motherfucker I just added that to see if anyone’s reading this :dubious:
There was more, but I finally managed to zone him out.