I called AAA once when I locked my keys in my car. While waiting for them to arrive (about 45 minutes or so) I decided to take a stroll to a nearby gas staion to just buy a snack. When I put my hand in my pocket to grab some $$$ I found my keys. Oops.
I’m not stupid, I swear. I just unconsciously David Blained them!
I did that recently in an application to the state for an LLC (Limited Liability Company), with a nice cover letter:
“Please find enclosed a check…”
…and didn’t enclose it. I was dumbfounded when I got the application returned… of course then I furiously dug though records and of course they were right. :smack:
I think one of the dorkiest things I ever did was when, one day, I was charged with baking several batches of cookies. They all came out rather oddly in those first batches–flat and gooey (and not in the good way warm cookies are supposed to be). I thought my baking soda had gone bad, so I decided to try and make cookie bars instead so it wouldn’t matter too much. Several bars of cookies later–I realized that I’d had the oven set on “broil” instead of “bake.” :smack:
Get yer cookies, fresh off the grill!
Dude! You just invented a transporter! Check your backyard for the pizza!
Try a cigarette in your mouth, lighter and a cigarette in your left hand, and a cigarette in your right hand.
You then try to light your cigarette with a cigarette.
That reminds me. Try lighting the cigarette with the lighter, only to discover you’ve lit the wrong end.
How about that, plus you suck on it like a McDonald’s milkshake for five minutes before you figure out why you’re not getting anything.
Ah, booze.
Last week, I completely forgot a load of towels in the washer - for about 4 days. How can something clean smell so bad???
Yeah, I rewashed them.
I also try to set a timer when I come upstairs from the laundry room so I know to empty the washer or dryer. The alarms on the machines are beepers that can’t be heard from upstairs unless I’m in the master bathroom (which is directly above the laundry room.) I need to figure out how to hook them up to flashing red lights that I can install in the kitchen or family room.
Yeah, I forget laundry a lot.
As far as I can tell, that’s the truly bizarre part. Cold pizza is incredibly good and there is no method of heating it that could o anything but bad to it. Not putting the pizza in wasn’t forgetfulness, it was a work of Og!
Once, when I was seven, I tried to put some pizza in a small cardboard box and put it in the microwatve to reheat it… the box started flaming! It was only in there for like ten seconds and then smoke started billowing out of the microwave. It was weird.
Here’s a thread full of “locked out of the house” stories from a few months back. Mine being the lead. Also relating to keys, I every so often find myself patting down every pocket of my clothes looking for the keys that I’m holding in my hand, or sometimes in my mouth.
I have to watch that I don’t put stuff like shaving gel on the toothbrush. One distraction and I finish what I started incorrectly. I have removed all squeeze tubes from the medicine cabinet. I don’t want a mouthful of burn cream.
A couple days ago I was looking for my shorts to wear outside as I was changing clothes. It took five minutes to realize the pants I was wearing were the shorts I wanted.
Hardly. As any cultured individual knows, cold pizza is strictly a breakfast food; as such, its proper serving hours conclude at 11:00 a.m. on weekdays, and 1:00 p.m. on the weekends (which is, of course, the standard breakfast time for the true connoisseur of cold pizza). My pizza was to be consumed at nearly 4:00 p.m.; the suggestion that I eat it cold, then, is an insult to my esteem and propriety.
Doesn’t anyone teach proper etiquette anymore?
Well there was this really annoying fly, you see…