But why would it be different if you are friends with the staff? You email was very clear that you were addressing them as church leaders and not as friends. Now, if you are a very active member then you may have more say on church business, but the presidential election is not church business. If you think it should be, then go through proper channels and speak to the pastor. Or, just circumvent church hierarchy all together and appeal to these people as friends.
I’m going to go against the flow and say there is nothing particularly wrong with the email. When I read the opening lines of your OP, I was concerned that you would be ratting her out to the staff as a possible McCain supporter, which would be a terrible idea.
But you email doesn’t do that. It doesn’t single out the “children’s minister” at all, and it doesn’t suggest that people who support McCain are evil or ignorant.
So I don’t think it will do any real harm, beyond being mildly offensive to the recipients. I would personally be offended if I got such an email at work,and I’m an Obama supporter.
But I don’t think it will do any good either.
Frankly I don’t think it’s any of your business. I also have trouble buying your reasoning. On the one hand, you’re friends enough that beer and BBQ is normal. On the other hand, you don’t know how the issue would even come up so you can preach her the facts.
Fact is, you are trying to influence someone and don’t want to be made out as an arrogant tool. You failed.
That’s why, when talking politics, I tendto take the other tack. You’re a McCain suppoter? I claim Obama is Jesus. You’re an Obama supporter? McCain is the Great White Hope. Fact is, I’m going to make up my own mind and don’t need your help, and neither does your friend.
And no, grassroot support doesn’t mean that you analyze another person’s life, make assumptions about who you think they are, and then tell them you’re wrong. If you wanted to do this right, you should have brought it up over a beer next time she was over.
I agree that this is a much better approach.
This has nothing to do with her being a minister and everything to do with the fact that you consider her a friend and now you’ve found out something about her that disillusioned you.
Her political views are none of your business, and I think it is extremely condescending of you to assume that the only reason she’s supporting McCain/Palin is because she doesn’t have “all the facts.” :rolleyes:
It was inappropriate of you to send this e-mail to the church staff. Unless she is campaigning for McCain from the pulpit, or getting the kidlets to color McCain/Palin campaign signs during Bible study, back off. You got a problem, talk to her. But be prepared for you to enlighten you on the facts of Obama.
…what? What’s there to get so worked up about? I think you’re making way more inappropriate (and strange) assumptions about the op than he is about the lady in question. and what does this even mean–“But be prepared for you to enlighten you on the facts of Obama”?
the op said this: “But I know her, and I know if she knew the facts she would support Obama.” Given that he obviously knows her better than any of us, I think its fair to give him the benefit of the doubt. That said, I don’t think the email was the best idea just because I think it won’t have much effect, and I do agree that you should just talk to her if you’re serious about ‘informing’ her–then you can see how informed she actually is.
A typo. I meant to say “Be prepared for HER to enlighten you on the facts of Obama.”
This is a friend, and the OP blew it out of proportion and dragged her friend’s employer into it. (I assume a children’s minister is paid by the church?) He may know his friend, but apparently not well enough to know she was a McCain supporter. But I still think it’s a little presumptuous to assume that one is supporting a particular candidate only due to ignorance.
I think the email was silly - you apparently interact with this person on a regular basis, so talk to her.
Also, if she doesn’t bring up politics in church, you shouldn’t, either.
Would you have written this email if you thought she was going to vote for Obama? I ask because your thesis is that you want to help inform people as they make their decisions, yet you only felt the need to do this because you saw the possibility of a particular vote going the other way. You believe that she is uninformed because she chose the “wrong” candidate. If someone sent this email to me I would be angry. I await her reaction.
So how did it go?
There are a lot of people who have simply closed their ears to Obama for whatever reason. I suppose there are a lot of people who have also closed their ears to McCain in the same way.
I don’t think your letter was offensive or wrong but as you have shared your thoughts, if the ears are still closed, just accept it and move on.
If we are misinformed as voters then it’s because we have allowed ourselves to become misinformed by not holding those doing the informing to a higher standard. Wouldn’t it be nice if all elections were only about the candidates and the issues and never about that “other” guy?
Personally, I’ve closed my ears to everything political. I hang up on political calls. I throw away campaign literature. I don’t even turn on CNN. I wouldn’t dream of spending 1/2 hour of my life watching a 1/2 hour infomercial on a political candidate.
I’m so deathly sick of this election that I could just spit. I blame the parties and the media who began talking about the '08 election back in '05. Christmas decorations shouldn’t go up until after Thanksgiving and elections shouldn’t start prior to 6 months before the election. I’m so media-saturated that I can’t take anymore.
It sounds like your trying to drop the dime on the children’s pastor to her boss. The PS was incredibly patronizing. If she is really your friend accept that she has reasons for her political opinions other than stupidity. There is a miniscule possibility that she may be correct in her beliefs.
Have you considered that maybe she is not interested in politics because neither Jesus Christ, his direct Apostles, nor the first and second century Christians weren’t?
While clergy traditionally do not openly endorse candidates from the pulpit, they do have a strong influence on their congregations.
If I were to receive such an email as one of the church staff, it would come across to me as an attempt to lobby the ministry to push for Obama with the congregation. I.e., “I know you can’t say it openly, but we all know you can wink wink nudge nudge.”
Note too that refraining from endorsements from the pulpit is not just a matter of tradition but tax law as well.
And look what happened - crucified or eaten by lions.
With almost any other friend, your letter would have been just fine. With the clergy, it’s different.
You mention that she is progressive and an advocate for social justice. She can’t be a brainless twit. If you thought that it might be appropriate to discuss politics with her, the appropriate step would have been to send an email asking if it would be all right to express to her your own preference for President and the reasons why you are supporting him. Then make a response based on her response.
I didn’t discuss politics with my best friend with the exception of one email. She had avoided the subject and I knew that she wasn’t as interested in politics as I. But I also knew that she has a heart of gold, a tendency toward liberalism, and a confused Republican background from long ago.
I wrote her one email and preferenced it with “This is the only mention that I will make of this subject.” And I told her why I support Obama and not McCain.
She is not excited about voting for either, but she is going to vote for Obama.
I assume you realize that this is not a valid syllogism. It is perfectly possible to be progressive, an advocate for social justice, and too dumb to come in out of the rain.
Come on. The attitude of the OP, with its “You don’t vote for Obama, therefore you obviously don’t know the facts” is bad enough without this kind of thing.
That bolded word should read “sometimes” or “rarely” or “hardly ever.”
Back on topic, I don’t think I would have sent that letter to a friend. Unless you KNOW for a fact that she hasn’t watched TV in the last year, read an article, newspaper, or internet blog on the 2008 political race, it comes off as condescending. I don’t understand why some people favor John McCain, either. As much as I loathe the guy, I think there are a lot of good people who’d prefer him to Obama for whatever reason. Maybe they’re “one issue” voters. Maybe they don’t prioritize the way I do. I want Obama to win in the worst way, but unless someone starts a dialogue with me on the subject, I’ll let them cast their vote as they see fit, and without comment.
mmm…OK. I shudder to revisit this thread, but I thought I would give an update.
We have been pretty busy lately, so our paths have not crossed as often as usual. Today she came up behind me and gave a very close, very tight hug from behind. (kinda made me feel funny, like when I used to climb the rope in gym class;)) So all is well, at least as far as the friendship goes.
This Saturday a group of 8 of us are going out to see the TransSiberian Orchestra. One couple is the Senior Pastor and his wife. It may come up, but probably not.
I appreciate all of your input. Most of what you have to say is very valid. But I guess the intricacies of individual relationships are hard to express. Was I overzealous? Yeah. Condescending? Maybe. Out of line? Possibly. But these are good friends and more serious foibles that this have been forgiven.
An interesting thing happened at lunch today. We were at lunch with my friend (the target of the original email), our families, and friends that included Mexicans, Vietnamese, French, Brazilian, and Costa Ricans. Sarah Palin and Obama have both been here in the past 2 weeks (Palin - last night) and everyone was talking about how they attended the Obama rally, but would not be caught dead at the Palin rally. My friend asked why, and the general consensus of the international folks was that Palin personifies what the rest of the world sees as the worst of America. Obama personifies the best. My friend took it in without comment, but the conversation around her was lively, and she heard things I would not have had the chance to say.
Who will she vote for? I don’t know. And I guess it really isn’t any of my business.