I just want to feel sorry for myself for a little while...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’m in a whiny mood, feeling sorry for myself.

On the one hand, my life is fantastic: wonderful new husband who loves me very much and who absolutely adores my children; expecting a baby in the spring; found a great house - right price, right size, right location; great kids; great dog; great family, including in-laws who are thrilled to death with two “new” grandchildren and one on the way; and I enjoy my job, even though I’m pretty underemployed right now.

I’m so overwhelmed right now, though. We got married in mid-November (date chosen so that my brother and brother-in-law could attend the wedding.) I would have been happy with a simple civil ceremony, but my husband really wanted something more formal, so I agreed. Lots of work, even putting together a small service and reception.

Then Thanksgiving, which included a relaxed dinner at my mom’s house, and a 5-hour round-trip to eat lunch with my in-laws that weekend. Another 4-hour round trip to have Christmas dinner with my grandmother another weekend. (The grandparents who are alive range in age from 85 to 98, so they really can’t travel well, and we really can’t procrastinate on visits…)

We moved, which means that I packed +90% of my husband’s stuff from his apartment, arranged for help with the heavy furniture and boxes, moved a great many boxes down from the 2nd floor apartment (no elevator! and my husband has a bad knee, managed to fall once before I convinced him to let me bring him that stuff!) cleaned the apartment, and unpacked most of what has been unpacked so far. Then, it was time to move the kids in - easy enough, although we still need to buy a bit of furniture for their rooms. For the time being, though, mattresses on the floor will have to do. My stuff still hasn’t been moved, for the most part - it’s too cold, and I’m too tired. But I’d really like to have my stuff!

Then Christmas - two days after moving! Another meal at Mom’s, another trip to visit in-laws, all slotted around my super-weird work schedule (I work 11pm-7am. Mostly. Except for when I work 7am -3 pm, or 3 pm-11 pm, or 7pm-7am.) And a farewell New Year’s dinner for my brother, who is deploying to the mid-East next week.

Today, my husband had much-needed knee surgery (outpatient, arthroscopic.) He’s being very, very whiny - I know it hurts, but sheesh! Man up! (Or at least shut up and take another Percocet! If I had that option, that’s sure as hell what I’d do! :D) Tomorrow, I go to the midwife for my checkup - what the hell is this rash on my arm?! Thursday, the dog has to go to the vet. Friday, hubby back to both of his doctors, and start physical therapy. And I will finally have one day off - after working ten straight, and having most of my daily sleep allotment interrupted for school- and medical-related stuff.

Did I mention that my husband will be out of work for at least a week before he can even be released for light duty? And that I’m taking all of the work hours I can get, because finances are going to be pretty damned tight for the next few weeks? And that hubby forgot to read his lease before cancelling it, so he/we owe another two months’ rent to the management company? Not to mention insurance deductibles for both his knee surgery and my gyno care? And that we’re having a BABY in a few more weeks?! :eek::eek::eek: (And now he thinks it would be brilliant to cash out his 401k to pay for beds and such? I don’t mean to be a horrible mommy, but it’s really not gonna kill the kids to sleep on mattresses on their bedroom floors for now. I’d really, really rather not incur the tax penalties for this stuff… and I’d rather know that the retirement fund is there for retirement, or for a real financial emergency. Silly me.) (There’s a reason that we agreed that I would be in charge of family finances, dammit!)

I’m tired, we’re broke, and I just want to whine. Really. I know it won’t help anything, but there ya go!

2

Here is a thread I created solely for the purpose of people posting songs that they listen to while in the mood to feel sorry for themselves.

Sorry I can’t offer more. Anything I say from here on out is likely to be something you already know in the back of your mind. And if you just felt like wallowing in some misery, heed thee to the above thread.

3

Nah, it helps. You’re singing the blues to an anonymous message board. I’ve done it. It’s cathartic.

4

Been there, done that, Lacunae. Even down to cashing in the 501 or 401 or whatever the hell it is. There was a time we didn’t know if we could keep paying the mortgage.

Things got better, though, and now we’re solid. Of course we have no kids , so there’s that. Here’s hoping everything works out for you too.

5

Thanks for the support, guys! Not only did it help to just vent here, but going for my checkup today also helped. Turns out that my hemoglobin count is way low (below 10,) so I had a legitimate excuse for feeling so exhausted all the time. And my husband then let me nap all afternoon before work - he “cooked” by calling for pizza delivery, and then herded the kids through their bedtime routine. Tonight is much better than last night!

6

Glad to hear you’re feeling better. May I suggest some songs to jam to now?

7

Hehe, I think you have had plenty of ‘legitimate’ reasons for feeling exhausted; it’s ok to admit you’re worn out once in a while. You’re dancing backwards in heels while pregnant; it’s alright to vent! :smiley:

ps Find the time to take a good bath, or a long shower, or read a book…uninterrupted. If you can. Being busy lets you appreciate the quiet moments, I think.

8

Sending out a wish for speedy recovery. What are they doing for the hemoglobin count?

9

Did I ever tell you about the time my husband and I both lost our jobs weeks after we bought a house? No? That was an…experience.

I think we’ve all been where you are, and it really does get better with time. You’re just in one of those life tangles right now, where everything bunches up together.

10

So to summarize, you have a loving mate, children, jobs, and a new house in a great location …

OK, well, sorry you’re overwhelmed.

Maybe you could look in the paper or Goodwill for a used bed frame?

11

Can I bitch too? All is really great. Normal life stuff, but nothing unexpected.

I’ve had a sinus infection since mid October. I’m on my second round of anti-biotics right now but nothing seems to help. I’m the ‘sick’ guy at work.

I’ve seen two doctors now and am trying everything.

As such, I’ve been trying to do things, but with a constant headache, ear ache with alternating sore throat, cough and little sleep. After 3 full months of this, I’m pretty much a mess.

12

Ongoing illnesses will really do that to you. I seem to have a list of rotating irritants that keep cropping up - first my ulcer acts up, then my foot gets sore, then my shoulder starts hurting, then I get a mild cold, then it’s back to ulcer, repeat ad nauseum. I can tolerate each one on it’s own, but if they start stacking up, I get very tired of feeling less than healthy. It also doesn’t help to think that this is just a preview of what old age must be like.

13

Don’t cash out the 401(k). The kids can sleep on mattresses. Hell, a lot of college students still do. If there is something more pressing than beds, then consider cashing out. Otherwise, leave it alone.

14

That’s my immediate feeling. It’s my husband who thinks that the bedframes are an issue. To be fair, he wants to make sure that the kids feel welcome in our house; and he doesn’t realize quite how much “make-do” that the kids and I have done over the years. The kids, however, are absolutely, positively fine with waiting until I can afford it to get those bed frames.

Yeah, I know how much I have to be grateful for. I thought I made that clear in the OP, but at the moment I was posting, I just needed to unload for a few minutes. Between exhaustion (fueled by anemia,) and third-trimester hormones, it’s easy to let emotions get the better of me right now. Thus, anonymous message board posting, instead of calling my husband/mother/best friend/whomever in the middle of the night. I try to limit my unreasonableness! :wink:

15

My mom used to tell me, “This too shall pass.” She was right. Hang in there!
(What have the kids been sleeping on up to now?)

16

My last job was very hectic. Sometimes I had conference calls at home at 9pm due to international time differences. Sometimes I was up until 3am working on a project. God I miss the stress.

I use to joke that we knew how good we had it when we had the time to bitch about the little things. The last thing we bitched about at work was the dirty office refrigerator. They announced they were shutting the company down the following week. Our little office family of 25 years has moved on.

So to you I say that feeling sorry for yourself because life is hectic is a sign that things are going well. As long as you can recognize it for what it is then a little “me” time to complain is OK.

And don’t even think about cashing in a 401K. Break china if you have to.

17

I’m hanging, I’m hanging! Finally got a little sleep, trying to adjust to the added iron pills in my regimen, and still trying to find something to relieve this itchy rash! (PUPPS, for the record. Yay, I seem to be in the 1% crowd!) Hubby is out making another drugstore run for me. My first instinct when he offered was to say “No, no, I’ll be fine.” But then I thought again and decided that it’s okay for him to take care of me for a bit. He wants me to feel better, I should let him help. (He also helped by doing the dishes this afternoon. Of course, that was after he bitched about dirty dishes, and I told him to get off his ass and do some dishes if he was so “het up” about them.)

As for the kids’ sleeping situation, they both have mattresses, but they are on the floor right now. To my mind, sleeping on a proper mattress, with sheets and pillows and blankets, in the privacy of their own bedrooms, is not a huge hardship. As I said though, my husband is worried that they’ll be unhappy with the living situation, and blame him. He really wants to be a good stepdad, and the kids are really quite happy, even without bedframes and boxsprings.