I just wanted some opinions and reviews for my children's book

Cafe Society
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**Any and All critisim, reviews and feedback are much appreciated.

Thank you for your time, your welcome for your smiles.**

:slight_smile:

Hi. My name is Andi, Andi with an “I” I always say because I’m a girl, and I have been very busy earning patches for my Girl Scout vest. Today I am going to earn my ‘what a catch’ badge by going fishing with my dad.

My dad says we are going to catch fish, and not just any fish, a catfish! But fish are in the water and cats hate the water so how could a cat be a fish too?

Dad says that fishing is all about watching your pole and that if it moves, you might have a fish. I hope I catch a fish today, a catfish! But how will I know if it’s a catfish?

Will a catfish have warm fuzzy fur like my cat that is always extra cuddly? I think it would get all wet in the water.

Will a catfish eat cat food like my cat who loves the kind in the can? I think a food bowl would float away.

Will a catfish have claws like my cat who likes to scratch the trees? I think they have fins, not paws.

Will a catfish have a long round tail like my cat who likes to swish his back and forth? I think fish have tails that are made just for swimming.

Will a catfish meow like my cat who greets me when I come home? I don’t think they can meow under the water.

Will a catfish have tall ears like my cat that can hear me when I call him? I don’t think I have ever seen a fish with ears.

My fishing pole is wiggling! I might have a fish and so I reel it in…and reel it in…And reel it in…

Wow I caught one! But is it a cat fish?

This fish doesn’t have any fur. This fish is too small to eat from a cat food dish. This fish has no claws. This fish’s tail isn’t long and round. This fish isn’t meowing at all. This fish doesn’t have tall ears.

This fish is just a fish…

But wait, There is something different about this fish.

This fish might not have fur, claws or tall ears, but it sure does have long whiskers, just like my cat.

This is a defiantly a catfish. I hold my catch up so my dad can take a picture and I smile because I have earned my “what a catch” badge.

Thanks again…:slight_smile:

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  1. What age group/audience are you writing for?
  2. Will there be illustrations?
  3. Is this your first attempt at writing a book?
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Hello. This will be a picture story book for ages 5-7 and this is my first attempt at writing a children’s book yes. I have an adult novel I am putting finishing touches on and decided to try my hand at a children’s book.

4

How old is “Andi” supposed to be? I am having a bit of trouble with the idea of a girl old enough to be in Girl Scouts and use phrases like “I always say” but yet has such confusion over the name “catfish”.

5

How DARE that catfish?!

6

Andi is five. And thank you, I never thought of that, that she says “I always say” Maybe I can change that to “Mom always says”. However Girl scouts are kindergarten and up just for future reference.

7

Haha, I thought I fixed that…its supposed to be; definitely

8

If Andi is five, she would be called a “Brownie”, and here is a list of awards and badges available to them.

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My suggestion? Delete the text I’ve marked below and replace it with funny illustrations showing how silly the fish would look if it were as Andi describes.

You have too much text for a picture book and too little text for a storybook. Cutting out half the text and using the space for bright, colorful pictures of the funny fish with a cat’s fur and a cat’s tail and a balloon coming out of its mouth saying “meow” is much more visually interesting than a lot of words, and will be much more appealing to kids.

10

Andi is five and she is a daisy scout, but still a girl scout and still earns badges.

I sort of thought that I didn’t have enough text but I can see how cutting out those lines and putting in funny pictures would be more appealing to a child.

11

I see, there are no fishing badges.

12

So make her a different kind of scout. If you write a book about Girl Scouts and try to market it, you’d likely have to get permission or licensing from the Girl Scouts of America. Make it from the local community center, a father-daughter activity program where she earns badges or patches.

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Sorry-they didn’t have Daisy Scouts back when I was a Leader in the late '70s.

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That is a good idea, or maybe just a day out with dad…catching a fish is always rewarding even without a badge.

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No problem, the only reason I know is because my daughter is a daisy scout, otherwise Id have had no idea what they were called. That must have been such a rewarding experience to be a scout leader!

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I just wanted to add that I got a call about my book but it was from a self publishing company. Should I go ahead and self publish or do I try my luck at the traditional publishing? Do you think that this would make a good children’s book? The idea in general, I know I need to adjust a few things. Thank you for all your replies and help by the way =)

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I like it. With the right illustrator and the suggestions for pictures above, I think it could be really successful.

You could maybe do a series around words/names that might be ambiguous to little kids. Can’t think of any off the top of my head apart from seahorse… Maybe abandon the scouts piece as that could end up too limiting.

Finding the right illustrator could be expensive though.

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Thank you! I think it is unique for a kids book, haven’t seen any about catfish =). I think that when you publish traditionally that they provide an illustrator. I like the sea horse and can think of all kinds of fun ideas for future books

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FWIW: Daisy, Brownies, Juniors, Seniors are all Girl Scouts. Daisy Girl Scout, Brownie Girl Scout etc.

However, at age 5 they are generally Daisy (kindergarten) and only work on Daisy petals. She could be Brownie, perhaps, if in first grade and not yet 6.

The text, while sweet, sounds a bit young for a badge earning scout.

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It’s OK. Not breaking any new ground. The quality and style of the illustrations will be crucial. I don’t know how self-publishing works WRT illustrations. I think publishing houses normally team the writer with the illustrator. At my library we get submissions quite often by authors who self-publish. They are normally pretty poor quality, in terms of both writing and art. Some are just awful. Self-published submissions are often accepted for review with some discreet eye-rolling by the staff. Our general policy is we won’t add it to the library collection unless there are published reviews. Sigmagirl’s suggestions are very good. Picture books are normally 32 pages or less, and by my counting this would just fit. Have you read up in Writer’s Market for submission guidelines and potential publishers? Got an agent? Editor?