I just watched Crossing Over for the first time

Yes, Crossing Over has been brought to Sweden, by Channel 5, the main moron channel of Swedish television. They did add a disclaimer about it being “pure entertainment”, but I can think of another label: “pure bullshit”.

I watched it for a few minutes, and kept asking myself: who the fuck in the blue blazes of hell and damnation falls for this tripe? I watched the version edited for TV, and I wasn’t impressed in the least, so how can anyone watch this in real life and buy it?

In the part I saw, the cold reader had established that the victims were there to talk to a murdered female relative of theirs.

A-mazing! How did he know that? And it’s abso-fucking-lutely amazing how he also knew that she was in a vehicle of any sort when she died, that the killer had a vehicle of any sort, that the murder happened anywhere near a vehicle of any sort, and any number of other possibilities that the victim would helpfully have supplied!

Yes? He missed by one hundred per cent, but the moron credits it as a hit.

Huh? 4th street is not 5th street. But again, the victims are nothing but wide-eyed wonderment.

About the murder itself:

No fucking shit, Sherlock. We’ve already established that she was shot from behind in her driveway. Would you do that a) in front of a crowd, or b) when there’s no-one around?

My God. The guy keeps saying “I don’t know if…” all the time and the victim keeps confirming or denying, quite happily doing the cold reader’s work for him. He stands there and guesses away, and the audience just swallows it. Who are these morons? And who’s the fucking conscience-impaired incestuous mouth-breathing shitlicker who decided to bring it into my livingroom?

I’ve always known this stuff was fake. I’ve always known it’s swallowed only by grieving people who need closure and total idiots. But I’ve never known how obvious it was, never having seen the shit before. Now I know. I grieve for mankind, John Edwards. Can you get in touch with that for me?

John Edwards is running for the Democratic nomination.
John Edward is the carny.

That’s what I thought, but then he was called “John Edwards” in the disclaimer, so I suppose the Swedish channel 5 people are even dumber than I thought.

John Edward needs to give all his money to charity and then devote his life to travelling around the nation apologizing to everyone. Individually.

You’re thinking too small, FisherQueen. Don’t think nation, think world.

He doesn’t need to apologize to me - I’ve lost no time due to him. Well, except for threads about him.

yeah, Johnny-boy, get your ass over here and grovel at my feet!

There’s a sucker born every minute, and two to take him. This here is proof.

God. I’m so sorry. I feel bad enough that we’ve inflicted Jerry Springer on the world. This is worse.

Pesonally, I don’t think he should travel and apologize to everyone. I think a simple twenty year flogging would do the job better.

Can he still keep his Biggest Douchebag in the Universe Award?

Damn you, Balle!! You beat me to it.

Anyhoo, I don’t know if it’s John Edwards in particular, but there are cold readers that have spies among the audience before the show, when they’re just milling about. They gather information from the conversations and give them to the cold reader.

I can’t remember where I read it, but I remember recently reading about a “medium” (why does that sound like “mediocre”?) who was trying to comfort the grandson of a skeptic.

M: Your grandfather says he’s happy now.
GS: Great! And Grandma?
M: She’s with him.
GS: Shit! She died? I just talked to her an hour ago!
M: Uh, she’s with him in spirit.
GS: Yeah, right. I have a question for Grandpa.
M: What is it?
GS: Can you explain Fermat’s Theorum again? I forgot most of it.
M: He doesn’t want to talk about that now.
GS: But that’s all he ever talked about! Why not now?
M: He wants you to know he’s happy.
GS: He was only ever happy when he talked about Fermat’s Theorum!
M: And he loves you very much.

I’ve been Doing My Bit. Whenever I see his books in the nonfiction section of the library, I surreptitiously refile them under “fiction.”

Instead of having him apologize to everyone, or a twenty-year flogging (which would make his show much more watchable, I admit), why not punish him by actually giving] him these powers he claims to have.

Then, he can spend the rest of his life being totally reamed out by the spirit world.

If he could do what he claims to do, I would be absolutely DISGUSTED with my assorted dead relatives if they chose to communicate with me throught that lying scumball bastard. I’d like to think they have better taste than that.

The more I hear about this twatburger’s shenanigans, the more I think I’m on the wrong road to eventual riches. If people are really this stupid, I could get wealthy in no time. I’d just have to sell my soul to do it.

But you have to have a soul to begin with for that to work.

:mad:

Reminds me of when my grandmother died, and my mother got a sympathy card reading, “She Is Not Dead—She Is Only Sleeping.”

My mother said, “Jesus Christ—and we buried her!!”

Yeah, I’ve never really understood why tat show was on the Sci-FI network in the US. It’s NOT freakin’ science fiction; it’s just crap. It has been cancelled in this country anyway.

The South Park guys did a brilliant episode about this guy. Stan learns how to do all his tricks, explains each and every one in detail, performs the “act”, and instead of realizing John Edward’s is a complete sham, the townspeople all start to believe Stan is the seer. ARGH…

Aren’t people who talk to spirits and dead people considered legally insane in a court of law?

I take some measure of comfort that his show started on Sci-Fi, and not, say, Discovery, or the History Channel.

And when the stars are right, she will arise and destroy us all. Ia! R’lyeh ftagn!