Nope, I used to think that “adults” were perfectly confident and have come to find that they just as insecure as everyone else. Alot of people in my family are what you could call “uptight,” and anxiety and depression have affect nearly all of us kids. I feel
lucky in that I feel in control of mine most times, and am positive most times as well.
Another thing that I did when I initially started on my confidence is live in the moment if the moment was good. It’s too easy to focus on the negative. When you do feel happy and like things are okay, recognize it and be thankful for it. You’ll find that you’ll figure out what it is that makes you feel good and will be more prone to create that environment for yourself in the future.
You mentioned that you are overweight . . . a common problem that many people deal with. Society does not help you deal with this problem, either, and can be harsh and judgemental, which only adds to the problem because it toys with your confidence.
So this is my advice to you, and it’s not what a counselor would say, nor what many people would agree with. First of all, the fact that your sister also has the problem doesn’t mean that have to have it as well. Forget about her problem and focus on your own.
Secondly, why not beat society at its own game? Join a gym and start the cardio. Don’t worry so much about lifting weights if your problem is that you are over-weight. Just make it your obsession and stick with it. You’ll feel better instantly. 21 is not too old to start working on your confidence, in fact, it is alot sooner than many people get started, and some people never start at all.
You can mold your body how you want it, it’s just a question of commitment. I think that you can stand around all day and have couselors tell you this and that, but I think you should take matters into your own hands. Confidence will help you override your insecurities, and I think that improving yourself is the only way. Who cares what people at the gym think, you aren’t going there to impress them. Focus on yourself and put forth the effort, because it’s worth what you will get out of it. In fact, I have inspired many over-weight friends to lose weight, many of which have been successful. You can be, too.
My advice may seem superficial, but we live in a superficial world, and I think that with a little work you can really make yourself look better. It isn’t as hard as it may seem.