You were beaten to the punch by about 1500 years:
Sorry to say, Coil, they are very real. I see them around at least a couple of times a week, because they live in my hometown, Topeka, Kansas. Humpf. At least I was born here. Fred comes from Missisipi, moving here in the 50’s. His older kids are the same age as me, late forties, early fifties. The guy has great-grandchildren to carry on his work. The Westboro Baptist Church pickets my own church, Grace Episcopal Cathedral, a couple times a month, at least. They were there on Christmas Eve, hollering from across the street that Christmas is a pagan holiday. Huh???
Do a search on “Fred Phelps” here on the SDMB, and you’ll find out way more than you ever wanted to about these diseased hate-mongers. They get pitted on pretty much a bi-weekly basis.
[QUOTE=They have a saying that goes something like, “A wife for children, a man for desire, but for pleasure a boy.”?[/QUOTE]
Or, as I recall:
“A woman for duty,
a boy for pleasure,
a melon, for ecstasy.”
So that’s why noone has said I made the earth move for them, I’m just doing the dirty with the wrong gender.
Well, don’t forget that if it weren’t for you guys, then Shakespeare would never have written Hamlet, and thus Freshman would have to find something else to get pissed at in English class.
…and each night the traumatized cantalopes would gather to vow their vengeance and work on their secret earthquake generator…
I think the Montreal gay Doper community should be held to account for the St. Lawrence Valley fault system! 
My Communist brother is going to spend the next few months in Denmark. I think you may just get what you’re asking for.
Well yes, actually. If you go out to Mecca/Medina in a couple of weeks there will be dead goats all over the place. I see truck loadsof them heading west almost constantly.
Testy
I’m guessing it’s because gay guys aren’t really qualified to fornicate uxoriously, except in Chick tracts, so they have to go with the next-best thing.
Well, apparently they haden’t been fornicating enough to wipe out all the religious fanatics.
Therefore, I request—no, demand that the gays of my country “get it on” in overdrive until cataclysmic natural disasters cleanse the world of hardline religious fundamentalism. Western civilization depends on it, damnit! Time is of the essense!
“Homoclismic”
I nominate for that for Word of the Month!
Hey! Can straights apply?! “Fuck for Death”. That sounds just like my kind of thing.
Is killing all you can think of? They could use their powers for good! Perhaps, they could even homoclismically warp the fabric of the universe itself and prevent the tragedy.
If they could turn back time . . .
If they could find a way . . .
It was kind of you to share that with us!
I can see Rune now, running through the streets of Copenhagen, yelling “The commies are coming, the commies are coming!!!”
Of course, people are going to look at him really wierd and wonder why the hell this guy is running through the streets yelling in english. :dubious: 
I’m givin’ it all he’s got, cap’n! He can’t take much more of this before he breaks apart!
Ream me up, Scotty!