I live with slobs

The BBQ Pit
1

To my three asshole housemates:
A note about the garbage cans:

When they are full, they are FULL!! that means you have to take the bag outside to the bins and replace the bag. Do NOT keep adding things to the top of the bag, as if they will magically expand and accept all the fucking rotten food you keep tossing in cuz you’re fucking rich enough to buy shitloads of things you’re never going to eat! And don’t push the bag down under the garbage, because we’re the ones who have to go after you and fish through all that crap to be able to pull it up, tie the bag off, and throw it out.

Also, GARBAGE DAY:

It’s Mondays. It’s an easy day to remember, as pretty much everything starts on that day. That means you put the garbage out on SUNDAY. How the hell did you guys survive last year without us doing everything for you?

When you’re cooking:

If you have to chop an onion, don’t drop all the skins all over the fucking floor!!. We DO have a garbage can, and a broom, and you are certainly able-bodied enough to bend over and pick your shit up off the floor. Same goes with garlic peels, by the way, and all the rest of the food bits you don’t actually cook. The floor is not where you throw all that out!

If you spill sauces or meat juice or anything else on the counter. WIPE IT UP!!. It’s not that difficult a concept to understand is it?

Also, do your dishes!! Don’t just pile them up in the sink so that they’re overflowing, its dirty and disgusting and it makes the sink totally inaccessible to the rest of us. And if you’re not going to do the dishes, then stop using our pots and pans!! We brought our own set when we moved in, and you got along fine without them. So stop using them and leaving them to mould all over the counter. That means WE have to clean up your mess so that we can cook our own food. Believe me, it’s not appreciated.

About your choice in music:

IMHO, your music sucks. But that’s your choice. Just PLEASE do not play it at full volume on REPEAT in the middle of the goddamn night! Some of us actually like to sleep occasionally, and your stupid fucking uncreative redundant cheesy dance beats are not helping. Especially when you know we have to get up early for school, work, etc.

Your study habits:

Generally, when it comes to studying, do your own thing. But when you’re pulling an all-nighter (which you seem to do a lot since you waste your days watching TV) and you need a break from studying, DO NOT start pacing around your room. You have a squeaky floor, and you KNOW it squeaks and it does so quite loudly - we have told you it wakes us up and prevents us from sleeping, and yet you continue to do so at the worst times. There is one spot in particular that is much louder than the rest - we have told you that when you walk there, that’s what wakes us up. You have a big room, and its easy to avoid that location. Please do so. (this particular housemate’s room is directly above ours. He’s also VERY heavy footed, and tends to stomp everywhere he goes)

The kitchen lights:

The lights do not need to be on when you are not in the room. It’s not that difficult a concept to grasp. Especially both sets of lights. They both light up the kitchen more than adequately on their own, so at no time does both sets have to be on. Especially the set that hums really fucking loudly and can be heard throughout the whole house. Don’t leave that set on in the middle of the night when you go to bed. It keeps us awake.

Also, the hall light is not needed in order to turn on the kitchen light. I know that’s a very difficult for your single neuron to understand, but seeing as the kitchen door is right next to the stairs, and you were clearly able to make it all the way down the fucking stairs without breaking your neck thanks to the hall light thats always left on upstairs, you don’t need additional light to cover the extra 3 feet from the stairs to the kitchen light switch.

AND STOP GIGGLING LIKE 12 YEAR OLD GIRLS!!! All three of you giggle instead of laugh, and I know there’s really not much you can do about that, but it’s 4:15am and I’m awake thanks to you guys, and I’m really grumpy because of it.

About asking us about our day:

If we answer you (which we will, we’re not that rude), that is not an invitation for you to spend the next 45 minutes telling us exactly why your day was harder/better/more fun/whatever than ours was. If we tell you what we;re cooking, don’t proceed to tell us about how you would make it better. If we mention a friend in another country, please do not tell us every mind-numbing detail about the cousin you have that conveniently lives in that country too. I know you like to talk about yourself a lot, and unless you did it first, nothing we will ever do is worth 5 minutes of your time unless it’s a lead in to telling us your entire fucking life history, but really, no one cares. All you do is get really annoying with your blabbering, and I just wish you’d shut the hell up.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh…I wish we;d have had time to find a better living situation. The house is great, but the housemates…!! And don’t get me started on the landlord. Lease? What lease? We don’t have a copy. Oh, and the key to the front door? Nope, sorry, we don’t have that either…grrrrrrrrrr.
Dammit, are the boards down at the moment? I hope not, cuz now I’m up and want to read!
[sub]This post not edited or typed with a very clear head, so sue me[/sub]

2

I smell a pending group murder!

POPCORN TIME!

3

Ya know, some people are sooo picky!
d&r

4

Why not tell your housemates the same things you have told us? If they don’t know that you are unhappy with their conduct, they have the right to assume it doesn’t bother you. And, as long as you are willing to clean up after them, they will allow you to do so. If you don’t want them to use your pots and pans, keep them locked away—it isn’t much of a trick to put a lock on a closet door, nor is it expensive. And if you don’t have a copy of the lease, how can you know that it is not okay to install said lock? As to the front door, any locksmith could fix you up with a key at minimal expense.

I would be willing to bet that a heart-to-heart, face-to-face conversation with your housemates would clear up a lot of these problems. Give it a shot and see.

5

If I were the OPer, I would clean this message up (remove insults) and give each housemate a copy, maybe even send a copy to the landlord in case you end up having to move out early or do the roomate shuffle.

I am at a loss about the lack of housekey/lease agreement. Can’t you just call the landlord and get those?

Sounds like maybe you and the group need to have regular “meetings” that let you air this stuff out. If all else fails, keep your stuff separate from the others (keep your pans in a locked cabinet or somesuch). Also, maybe you could replace the existing lights with sensor lights that go on when they sense movement and off when you leave the room (I don’t think that is a very expensive proposition)

At least then some of your stuff would be addressed and maybe your life would seem a little better there.

Zette

6

looks over her left shoulder
looks over her right shoulder

Mnemosyne? When did you move into my apartment?? You’ve described most of the stuff that’s been annoying me around here whenever I’m stressed. Except that my pacing flatmate usually does it in the livingroom area, especially back and forth behind my computer chair. For a seismophobe like me, this is less than fun.

Oh, and watch out for the stove, the burners are smoking again. :slight_smile:

7

Slob here.

I think it is important that you moved in with them. Were they like this before you moved in? When you looked at the house were there dishes in the sink, three full garbage bags in the kitchen, and were they up front about the fact that they are night people? If all that is true, then I think you are screwed (though you are welcome to come here and bitch, of course. Nothing wrong with that). Unless they misled you in some way, I think it is unreasonable for you to expect them to change thier ways now that you are paying some portion of the rent. Had they moved in with you, I would say the same to them.
There is no moral signifigance to one’s prefered level of cleanliness/orderlines. If it dosen’t bother them to take care of the garbage only once a month, and they don’t look at the floor so they don’t care if there are onion skins rotting on it, why should they clean it? You are the one that cares–from thier point of view, there is no problem.

At the same time, compromise is part of living with people, and changing behaviors even though it isn’t your problem can go a long way towards group harmony. Obviously, you need to talk to them, but when you do so, I think you will find it much more effective if you go in with the attitude that you are asking for a compromise–even a favor–than the attitude that you are trying to enlighten them to their proper duty. Furthermore, go in with an awareness of what behavoirs you really do want changed, and which you can live with, and decide what things you are willing to give in order to get what you want.

Remember that it often takes much less energy to just do things yourself and not worry about fair then it does to sit and steam. You care more, so IMHO, it is fair that you do more. (provided they didn’t mislead you about the type of people they were before you moved in). Also, if you are willing to give alot in the negotioations, they will see that you are approaching them in good faith, and it will get rid of a lot of the bad feelings.

Be very careful about bringing up the “don’t use my pots” thing–make sure that you aren’t using any communal stuff yourself–is it your TV, your trashcan, your VCR, your washer and dryer, your vaccumn, your broom, your couches? Requesting that your pots not be left dirty is reasonable–expecting them to understand that your stuff is YOUR stuff is not. Most housemates share a great deal of stuff.

Finally, you may discover that you can’t live with these people and need to look for a new place. Please remember that if that is the case it isn’t because anybody is right or wrong, but just that you seem to have had the bad luck of settling in with a bunch of people who value very different things than you do. Nothing wrong with that, just unfortunante.

8

Oh, thank heavens. From the thread title I thought my cats were posting to SDMB again.

Please, carry on.

9

We actually have talked to them, repeatedly, about these things, even to the point of showing the guys the new broom (secretly located directly beside the old one). When we moved in the house was reasonably clean, there was a lot of discussion with the landlord about everyone sharing the duties, and things were ok for a while. The thing is, we moved in the summer, and two of the guys (including the worst one) were only there on occasional weekends, so we didn’t get to really see how the place was with him there.

Even if they don’t put the garbage out to be picked up,the least they could do was toss the full bags outside in the bins. We have told them, the landlord has told them…the thing with garbage night is that we’ll call out “garbage night - bring out what you want tossed out” and they might bring down some garbage then effectively watch as we do the rest.

As for us doing everything for them, its simply a matter of when the garbage is full, we actually take it out, or when our dishes are dirty, we clean them. They aren’t even smart enough to put their plates, glasses and cutlery in the dishwasher - that’s how lazy they are. We can’t stand to live like that, so we clean up (by we I mean my SO and another housemate), but it’s annoying that most of what we clean is their mess.

As for locking up the pots: I suppose it’s a possibility, but there is a distinct shortage of cupboard and closet space, and the only possibility would be to hide them in the back storage area in the basement. Much more of a hassle for us than cleaning them. As it is, we distincly keep them separate from the full set of (better) pots and pans, and they still use ours. I suppose they know we’re going to clean them anyways, which is what pisses me off.

Changing the kitchen light is an option, but it’s our monetary investment (albeit not much) and why should we have to pay when the solution is just to flick the top switch, not the bottom one? We’ve proposed to them that we change the lights, but no one wants to pay for it (although they all could totally afford it). Serisouly, ALL it takes is flicking one switch rather than another!

We knew they were night people, that’s not the issue. The issue is the apparent belief that if they close the door, no one can hear the subwoofer blasting at full volume. Literally, I have had to pound on the door to get their attention at 3am to tell them to turn it down a bit so we can sleep. They can play music, just please don’t play it so loud, so late at night!

To whoever said “shouldn’t you just be able to go to the landlord and get the key/lease?” - BWWAAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! do you think we havent tried? The bastard lives across the street from us, and we have called, emailed, paged, left letters repeatedly demanding that we get the keys to the house, a copy of the lease, and a key to lock our bedroom. His response, invariably, is “oh yeah, give me 10 minutes”. Half an hour or more later we call back/go visit, etc, and he’s conveniently gone. My plan? I write him a letter telling him that I want all of this stuff by New Years, or we go to the Ontario Housing Tribunal. Did I mention we’ve been under his tenancy since June? He’s a lazy asshole bastard who can’t take the time to take a couple of keys off a key ring and make a photocopy despite haveing a photocopier in his house!

As for our moving out options, they aren’t really available at the moment. The vacancy rate in this area is nil, even at the best time of the year (actually it’s a bit more than that -something like 0.5%). We definitely plan on moving out as soon as our lease is up, there is no doubt about that. We just have to tough it out until April.

10

Regarding the keys/lease, you said you’ve repeatedly “called, emailed, paged, left letters”, I think it sounds like you may have to go over and give your request in person and refuse to leave until you get what you need.

11

Don’t underestimate the importance of actually telling them what you expect. Don’t yell at them or make them feel defensive or anything, but let them know you are having issues rather than bottling it up. Believe me, it will work out much better in the long run if oyu guys are actually communicating in a mature fashion.

BTW – are you speaking for more than yourself, or is that the imperial “we” you keep using? :slight_smile:

12

The “stand at the landlord’s door tactic” isn’t that easy to implement, thanks to us actually having lives. You know, school, etc. Besides, he’s never home, or won’t answer the door. Not much we can do in that case.

The “we” I keep refering to is mostly my SO and I, and occasionally it includes the third housemate with whom we get along fine and who is easy to live with.

We have sat and talked things out with everyone, and it just doesnt work. Things are ok for a week or so, then back to their old ways. It’s just really exasperating.

BTW- I wrote the OP at 4am while drunk - I figured it was a good time to rant :slight_smile: