Alright, so I’m having some of the typical roommates problems. Leaving the toilet seat up. Arguments over chores. Endless needling (and I’ll admit that I bring some of that on myself). But they have one rather annoying habit that is really starting to drive me insane.
That would be cooking themselves food, and leaving nothing for me.
I’ll use today as an example. I’m gone from 11am until 9pm on Tuesdays because of classes–the one break I have is too short to justify the trip back. I try to eat eat something (preferably not junkfood) before I leave–we never really have anything that makes a good packed lunch, and since I have no income currently, eating a full meal out isn’t a great option–since I know it will be hours before I see food again. I will try to get a snack at school, but meals on campus cost too much for what they are, and I’d rather not walk downtown for a meal unless I’m desperately hungry. Needless to say, the combination of all these factors leaves me rather hungry by the time I get home.
So what do I find when I return? Yes, once again they made themselves food and there’s nothing left over. So if I want to eat I have to cook myself something, which is torture when all you want to do is EAT NOW. I’ve even asked them to leave me a bit once, and I still didn’t get any.
What’s really annoying is the frequency with which this happens–several times a week. They go out to eat once a week, but I look forward to that (anything that gets me PEACE). But I’m getting sick of making myself food, especially since I feel more limited in what to cook when I’m only cooking for me. Not to mention that they usually end up eating better meals than me when they do this; I am actually starting to get sick of instant noodles.
Gah, I’m off to cook something again–I should not being doing this this late!
(Oh well, in less than two months I’m moving out, one way or another.)
Maybe it’s just me, it seems strange that you feel entitled to someone else’s food and labor. They’re your roomates, not your mom, and therefore have no obligation to feed you.
Yeah, if they’re around and haven’t eaten yet I’ll make enough for them. Actually this is part of the limiting factor in what I eat–there are some meals I don’t like cooking if I’m the only one eating, because I can’t really make a single portion. I’m not expecting them to do all the cooking–it would just be nice on days like today if I could come home and have something ready made.
Actually, I would probably cook for them more if they’d stop doing this.
I probably wrote my OP badly. I don’t feel entitled to it, but dammit it would be NICE! (or maybe I’m just feeling extra bitchy right now so this is bothering me more than usual). I suppose writing this while I’m craving any kind of food was a bad idea.
I’m with you on the labour–your’e right they cooked it. We’re all paying for the food though.
Yes, I could refridgerate the rest. I guess I don’t because they rarely do either. I should probably also mention that one roomate almost never cooks for me–if he’s cooking it’s usually just for him. Granted I rarely cook for him either–I guess I treat them the same way they treat me. Which doesn’t really reflect that well on any of us (well, two of us–one roommate is really decent).
dropzone, yes I will bring it up with them. It normally doesn’t bother me this much. Though since I’m moving out pretty soon, it’s not going to matter that much.
I think I understand where you’re coming from, Jayn. When I was in university, I lived in a house with 4 guys and although each of us bought our own groceries and there was no agreement to share, when we were making a real meal, we offered some or left some as a courtesy. I never really expected it, and if one of us was making something really special, we might not be so generous, but in most cases there was no problem. I assume you share in similar circumstances?
I also understand the reluctance to expend a lot of time and energy preparing a balanced meal when you’re home alone and hungry now.
So maybe you can’t expect it, but I understand the :dubious:. Minimal effort is required to share the bounty.
Bingo. And it’s the same here in a coed group home as it was in apartments and dorms. Everybody takes care of their own. It makes the fridges a little too packed full, and there are disagreements over the limited space, but I still prefer it to buying food I don’t eat, feeling obligated by eating food I don’t buy. Right now I’m a little bugged by the fact that the five people using one kitchen all use the same sponge and dish towels. I don’t know what YOU’RE scrubbing with that sponge, and it may be crawling with salmonella. But if I buy new sponges, they’re not going to just be MY sponges for long.
I guess what I’m saying is buy your own food, and hide the sponges.
:snorts: Good thing the french fry was only halfway to my mouth when I read that (What, balanced meal? At this time of night? Yeah right!)
I don’t expect them to change–one roommate is very self-centred, worse than me (and I’ll admit to being pretty bad at that myself at times). To be honest, days like this aside, I’m eating better than I would if we split the food. This is one of several reasons I’m moving back onto campus next year.
I think one of the reasons this is bothering me so much is that last week I asked them to keep a little bit for me one night when I knew I’d be back later than usual (no 9pm, but we were having chicken, which happens rare enough to look forward to it), after they would have already eaten. Naturally, I didn’t get any. I wasn’t expecting it, but again, it would have been nice.
Oh and for the record, both my roommates are guys. I’m the estrogen drop in this apartment.
Unless you’re splitting grocery costs, ie, communal food, what you’re asking is outside the bounds of any normal roomate living arrangement I’ve ever been in. In college, out of college, in a dorm, in a shared townhouse, when we were each buying our own food, there was no expectation (much less obligation) that we were cooking for anyone other than ourselves.
Of course, if a roomie felt like they had more food than they could eat, or felt like cooking a meal for more than one, they would ask if we were interested in the meal, but that was a rare occasion, not something I would have felt upset if she hadn’t done.
Unless you’re living in a situation where you’re all pitching in for groceries together, I think you’re being waaaay too unreasonable, polite request to ‘save some food’ or no.
Jayn, please don’t treat your roomates any more bitchily (is that a word?) than usual because of this. You asked them for a favor, then get pissy when they don’t remember to do it more than a week later? It’s shit like that that makes girls hard to live with. Don’t give us a worse name than we already have.
And to ease your remaining two months there, check out the “cooking for cheap” threads:
It takes me about 3 hrs/week (including shopping) to make all of the dinners I need for that week (I’m not too proud for leftovers). Soups and pasta salads refrigerate great, and cooked meat, veggies, and rice freeze for up to 3 months and still taste fine. Every time you cook, double the recipe and freeze 1/2. For lunches: bagels, fruit, nuts, and string cheese are all cheap.
Since you can plan a bit in advance (since you know when your killer days are ahead of time), you can avoid trying to cook when your blood sugar is low and you are in a bitchy mood.
We are all pitching in for the groceries together. I think I mentioned that already.
Susan, thanks for the links. Don’t worry, I’m not going to go off on them about this, just ask if they could at least try and save a little for me on Tuesdays. I was just letting off a little steam in here–that’s what the Pit is for, right? I probably over-reacted, but it felt like a bit of a slap in the face to come home last night and see the remains of their supper. It’s not worth bitching at them over.
I’m surprised that everyone seems to agree that roomies don’t share food, ever, under any circumstances. I understand why that could be a difficult thing, but it surprises me that people are willing to go to twice the effort of cooking (that is, assuming you guys can agree on at least some foods.) But I think you should have tried to make an agreement in advance if this was your goal: “Hey, I get home late on Tuesdays. Howsabout you cook dinner every Tuesday night, and leave me some, and I’ll cook for everyone Thursday night in exchange?” It just seems like you’d want to figure that out in advance.
I’m still stuck on this one. Do girls still actually want guys to put the seat down? I thought that this was a sitcom myth. If so, is there some rational reason behind this?
I can’t speak for all girls (obviously) but it looks untidy to me if the seat is up. Which is ironic considering what the rest of the apartment looks like. I actually had a chat with a guy about this once, and he had a proposal I agree with: seat AND lid down–looks neater and the old ‘you should leave it up for us’ argument doesn’t work anymore.
Anyways, I just found out that only one roommate had supper here last night, which kind of knocks the wind out of my rant since this is the self-centered one we’re talking about. However, the good news is this thread has made me decide to try and be a better roommate. So I’m off to cook lunch for the three of us. (And just in case, I bought pudding cups for my long school days)