So where are the photos on flickr or photobucket?? Hey, if you’re going to be fully wired with IV tubes and Internet tubes, the least you provide are pictures, too!
Seriously, rest, relax and get well.
Hokey smoke!
Get well. Or else. 
“We have nothing to fear but spiders, snakes, werewolves, sharks, dying alone, zombies, clowns, heights, big dogs, robots with human brains, Johnson’s wife, and… Fear Itself”
Get better soon!
Uhm … I’m feelin’ kinda’ poorly m’self. Do you need my address?
Wait … you’re not an ambush journalist, are you?
bump
Just wondering whether we’ll get that full story Fear Itself promised upthread. I’m glad to see he’s been posting, so I’m no longer worried. But I am still curious.
I am indeed feeling much better. And now for the rest of the story…
Three weeks ago on Wednesday, I was getting ready to leave for an appointment with a client, and I noticed I was feeling kind of weak, and I was out of breath climbing the stairs. I felt like I might be coming down with something, which is unusual, because I never get sick. I decided to finish my afternoon calls, and rest when I got home (mistake #1).
When I arrived at my client’s location, I walked to their door and by the time I got there, I felt like I was going to pass out. I was breathing hard, was light headed and had the rubber knees real bad. I turned around and made my way back to my car and slumped into the driver’s seat, where I fainted for what I think was only 10 or 15 seconds. When I came to, I leaned out the door and threw up, and I remember thinking, “the flu finally caught up to me”, as I am always seeing customers who are ill or their kids are ill, I figured it was just a matter of time. I also realized that I had crapped my pants, which i had no recollection when it happened.
By this time, my client had appeared at my car, and he said I didn’t look good at all. I told him I felt like I was coming down with the flu, the kind that just knocks you off your feet without any warning. He brought me a glass of apple juice, and after sitting for a while, I felt good enough to drive home (mistake #2).
So I drove home very slowly, ready to pull over if I felt like the lights we going out again. I made it home, and called my wife from the garage on my cell phone and told her I needed some help getting cleaned up and into bed. But when I got undressed, and saw the bizarre load in my shorts, I realized this wasn’t just the flu.
By the time I got cleaned up and up stairs, I was having real difficulty breathing. Fortunately, my wife is on oxygen therapy for her pulmonary fibrosis, so I got on pure oxygen and that cleared my head somewhat. The wife asked me if she should call the ambulance, or drive straight to the ER; she didn’t give me any other alternatives, but I was not arguing much by this point. I told her to drive me to the hospital, but we pulled up at the outpatient clinic instead of the ER. I managed to walk into the clinic, but collapsed into the first wheel chair I saw, and Mrs. Fear got directions and pushed me down to the ER. That caused her to get out of breath, so we shared the oxygen until we got to the ER. I quipped, “what a pair we make” and we got a laugh out of this otherwise frightening situation.
In the ER, they took blood tests and put me on a saline IV and a unit of blood and waited for the results. The gastroenterologist came in with the news: “Fear, you are the proud father of a upper GI bleed, probably due to an ulcer. Based on your hematocrit levels, you have lost half your blood volume, and if we don’t stop the bleeding, you life is in danger.”
I was stunned. I had no pain whatsoever, and had no history of ulcers or GI pain that would indicate I had one.
The doc scheduled me for an emergency endoscopy with a general anaesthetic, and I woke up in recovery, and thence to a bed in ICU, where I phoned in my OP from my cell phone.
Not certain yet, but the rotgut and tobacco are both out, as I took the pledge over 10 years ago. I take Aleve (NSAID) 3 or 4 days a week for my carpal tunnel, but I never abuse it, usually two caplets before bed. I did test positive for H. Pylori, which I have learned accounts for up to 80% of duodenal ulcers.
I don’t remember a thing, it was clap off/clap on, and I was in recovery. The doc said I had four ulcers, three minor ones in the stomach, and one in the duodenum he characterized as “a crater on top of an artery”. He said he injected it with something to close it, and that didn’t work, so he cauterized it, and I was still bleeding, so he put three clips on it and that stopped the hemorrhaging. I was on a Protonics drip for fours days, the entire time I was in the hospital.
I didn’t have any food or drink by mouth for over two days, until Saturday morning, then they let me have pretty much anything I wanted. The doc said they don’t prescribe the bland diet for ulcers anymore, it doesn’t make much difference.
How can I describe that horrid substance, which looks much like what splatters out of the head of a zombie when you smack them with a shovel. It is glossy and gelatinous, appearing like raspberry preserves, blackish with dark maroon overtones. And what a unique aroma! Throw a dead skunk in your trunk in the summertime for about a week, and you will get a faint approximation of what I discovered in my BVDs when I got home. That continued for almost a week, by the way, long after I was on a normal diet.
All in all, an amusing way to spend a week in April. Thanks for all the good thoughts.
I’m glad to hear you’re feeling much better.
Thanks for the story.
Finally, my lurking has been rewarded by good news. I was (very) quietly worried about you, Fear Itself.
Thanks for the news.
Glad you are feeling better. Sending more good thoughts for a continued recovery.
Personally, if posting from an ICU is wrong, then I don’t want to be right.
Here is to a speedy recovery!
Melanotic stool. I would have been quite happy to remain ignorant of its description for the remainder of my life.
::swoons::
Good to know you’re okay, though, Fear Itself.
ETA: I have annointed this post with the mark of the devil. skeeery!
That whacky naproxen (aleve)! I’ve seen waaaay too many GI bleeds from that and other NSAIDs, even when taken in low doses. Add H. Pylori, and you are fortunate to be alive.
Glad you survived. Sorry you had to experience melena.
I once wrote a haiku based on the worst feces-related diagnosis I ever saw.
Sir, there is a problem
Pooping at the urinal
Is frowned upon here
(diagnosis = “passing stool via penis”)
(it was some type of fistula, don’t ask me how IANAD)
Geeze. this reminds me of the guy who called for tech support from the hospital & was tring to talk through an oxygen mask.
Glad things are better, fear itself. Take care!
I’m one of those people that think a hospital should have internet connections in all rooms, so the sick person can do something other than go stir crazy.
Have a successful recovery.
Don’t worry. They will soon and then charge a bagillion dollars for the service. ( Which I would gladly pay.)
Shall we discuss the phone usage charge they had on my late brother’s account? He was on life support and out of it and was nearing permanent check out. And somehow he used a phone.
Let’s not discuss it.
20 years ago I developed a stress ulcer worrying about corrective jaw surgery. No one knew about the ulcer. I had the surgery, then a couple of days later (while still in the hospital) I threw up 6 units of blood through my wired-shut teeth. Ended up in the ICU for a few days, and lost about 30 pounds in a week. Not a recommended weight loss method.