Last night I awoke suddenly with uncontrollable intestinal spasms.
I made an insane dash for the bathroom, but it was far too late. Before I took three steps my colon was emitting a jet of vile foulness all over the floor.
I’m just thankful I was alone. However, I’ve never heard of this happening to anyone else, ever. Am I right?
Jet of Vile Foulness was the name of my doo wop group.
No. I’m certain it has happen to others before. It’s just now-a-days you can tweet about it.
Pretty normal. Chicks dig it, too.
Were you wearing pants?
I tore my boxers off in bed; thinking it would save me valuable time mounting the porcelain god. Probably a mistake; but I was in a panic.
I had it happen from the opposite end one night. I woke bolt upright from a sound sleep knowing that I was about to vomit. I rushed for the bathroom and projectile vomited on the mirrored wardrobe right where it meets the wall. I then vomited into the corner of the bathroom door and door frame, so by the time I reached the toilet bowl it was all over.
All over two doors, two walls and a door frame. All over the carpet and the tiles. The last thing I felt like doing was cleaning up but I managed to get the worst of it.
Norovirus has that effect, with bonus projectile vomiting. I ended up just sitting on the toilet with a basin in my lap to puke in. That was a good day.
Pics or it didn’t happen!
I feel for ya. I think the puking thing is perhaps even more uncomfortable as nothing is more agonizing than stomach nausea. But still more socially acceptable though don’t you think? ( I mean, we’ve most all been there.)
But pulling both barrels of the chocolate shotgun all over the floor? How can I live that down?
Did you join this board just to tell us that? You sick freak.?
naw it happened believe me. I don’t stroll around taking pics of me shitting myself.
I had a nasty Gastro recently. I spent 5 days in hospital. I got to come home and clean up all the poop n vomit I had left behind me. My mum loves me but she does not love me “that” much.
Not just for that. But tbh, this place seemed like a good forum to admit my shame. I’m no troll. I hope to post many worthwhile posts here in the future.
I felt compelled to get this issue off my soul (after cleaning up the physical mess.)
Pretty sure that’s the first sign of ass cancer.
Five days. It must have been a serious condition.
It was my druid’s favorite magic item.
I’m not so sure. I had a colonoscopy done last year. Everything checked out fine.
You’re right, I meant Alzheimer’s.
Hey, it’s your house - you can shit wherever you want.