I try to always keep that chore confined to the bathroom. I don’t know how things got so out of control. It’s embarrassing.
Pffffffffffft.
I’ve poured out a boat of ass gravy straight into the bed.
In a hotel.
Just before the housemaid knocked on the door.
lol. Good grief, what did you do?
Well, between bouts of shaking, sweating and gagging (you may have guessed I was not altogether a well person at this point), I was cringing, apologizing, and attempting to flee the scene.
Mostly though, I was dying a million tiny deaths of embarrassment.
Thank you for listening; it’s been cathartic 
Sung to the tune of “Its my party and I’ll cry if I want to”
Its my house and I’ll shit if I want to
Shit if I want to, Shit if I want to
You’d shit too if it happened to you
.
.
Insert various TMI refrains here
.
.
Oh, its my house and shit if I want to
Shit if I want to, shit if I want to
You’d shit too if it happened to you
Its my house and shit if I want to
Shit if I want to
Oh, yeah, I forgot you said that.
+1
A +1 Jet of Vile Foulness? Frightening.
Yes. Yes, it is. And please feel free to return to regale us with further tales of your bodily emissions. It’s riveting. No, really.
I’ve had to do that before. Every spasm causes a stream from both ends simultaneously. Awful 
<bookmarks post>
Grabbed his bellhop cap and jumped out the window.
This thread made me laugh so hard I peed myself a little
This thread doesn’t make me laugh, it makes me want to sleep in the tub from now on as a precaution.
That’s the first sign of Alzheimer’s.
It happened to my sister when she had the mumps in the sixth grade. Not at school, she was already home sick in bed when things ramped up. Three steps is about right. It embarrassed her, but Mom was unphased. My other sister and I hadn’t know that such a thing was possible, but Mom had been a nurse, once.
Are you my son? Where am I?
So you ran to sign up on a new message board to tell everybody about it?
No Mentos?
why not, good a place as any