I love meat!! Glorious steak! Wonderful ham!

The BBQ Pit
1

I want it on the record and I want it spelled out in GREAT BIG LETTERS that I AM AN OMNIVORE!

In brief; I eat meat.
I love meat.
I love it rare, well done, sliced, diced and served on a slab.
I love it as lamb.
I love it as ham.
I love it as Spam.
I love it with jam. (Bet you were wondering what I’d finish the rhyme with.)

Humans were made to eat anything which would not eat them first, and to polish off fruits and grains as an appetizer and to help their bowels work. I have had some acquaintances who were ‘Vegans’ – (Crap that name sounds like something out of a grade B science fiction
movie.) They almost drove me nuts with their comments about the poor animals, the rightness of ‘browsing,’ the benefits of clean colons, and bloody gobbits of meat verses sweet, fresh fruit.

I love vegetables but along with meat. Roast corn and baked spuds, fresh lettuce and tomatoes, mild onions and crisp celery, served along with a big, rare steak. Polish it all off with fresh fruit and I’m happy.

My teeth, I learned, are designed to grind seeds, masticate plant fiber and cut, rip, shred and hold meat. Most of us have those little ‘vampire’ teeth poking out like fangs. Well, they used to be. Fangs are not used to sneak up on a cabbage. They are used to grab and hold meat! Even our intelligence evolved from hunting live prey, not sneaking up on a leaf.

I know of no herbivore which developed much in the way of intelligence but I know of several animal omnivores which have displayed smarts.

Pack me a chicken with tomato, celery, bread, mushrooms, onions, garlic, green peppers and small potatoes, toss it in the oven and I’m happy.

Cover me a thick steak with tomatoes, onion, a squeeze of mango, sliced carrots and garlic, poke it in the oven and serve it up and I’m pleased.

If you wish to browse in the back 40, please do, but cut me off a hunk of that cow there and throw it on the fire as you pass by.

Meat lovers of the world unite!

Pass the A-1 please.

2

A-MEN, Brother! AAAA-MEN! My favorite dinner is a large prime rib, so rare it’s still bellowing. Give it to me in its natural juices with some onion rings, horseradish sauce, and a nice salad with a drink and I’m happy. I also love chicken. Fried, baked, stir-fried, any way they can be cooked I love chicken. Especially the thigh. I like duck for the same reason (dark meat with plenty of juices). And ham! Oh, a good ham steak is a glory to behold. With some pineapple on top and some salt on the side, ham is an amazing meal. Come on, vegans! We don’t want this to go into IMHO. We want a nice debate. And, PRISM02, when the rabid bunnyhuggers descend, I’m on your side. Heck, I even eat sushi!

3

Not being as virulent a contrarian towards my veggie brothers and sisters as this, I usually describe myself as an “equal-opportunity” eater.

However, there is one point where I refuse to budge.

“Tofu! Why do people eat tofu? I throw out my old sponges!” - Karen Williams

4

Gee, another vegetarian-bashing thread by some genital-sezed-deficient moron who is overly concerned with what someone else chooses not to eat.

David, Gaudere, is there even a debate here? Haven’t we seen enough of these threads, and is this even the appropriate place for it?

5

[Moderator Hat ON]

Well, I don’t see any debate here. Since this is or shortly will be a vegans-vs-carnies fight, I’ll just send it to the Pit. However, Phil, as long as a thread is in GD please refrain from insults. While I am not entirely sure what “sezed-deficient” is, I get your gist.

[Moderator Hat OFF]

6

PRISM02 wrote:

They are, if it’s an evil cabbage.

7

So, does anyone else savor the delicious irony of a thread like this being located in the BBQ Pit?

Actually, I understand that we evolved intelligence while trying to avoid becoming live prey. But why quibble over details with a fellow omnivore?

I worked out a kinky little marinade a few years ago; generous splashes of Worcestershire sauce, big glugs of Tobasoco, a couple dashes of Johnny’s seasoning salt, and a sprinkle of Java cracked peppercorns. Repeat several times each side whilst simmering slowly and guzzling near-freezing amber fluid. Best enjoyed on a sun-drenched back deck with appropriately inebriated friends.

8

Gaudere:

“Sezeds” are a type of hormone produced by the ovaries or testicles of an individual, which allow her or him to derive sufficient proteins and minerals from plant matter to sustain life.

A “genital-sezed-deficient moron” would be a moron requiring a meat diet in order to maintain optimum health.

Glad to have been of help. Excuse me, I must go eat a ham.

9

Card carrying veggie checking in here.

Knock yourself out. Eat all the meat you want. Gorge yourself. What do you want me to do, swoon?

I have been on this earth for a looong time (or it feels that way.) I have been aware from early childhood that people (gasp!) eat…meat. Really. I know about it. It does not shock me. I see the ads on TV for meat products. I know about BBQ, and ham, and beef. Really. All up to speed there.

So what is the point of this whole thing?

10

Mmmmm…meat…a huge medium rare steak, fries, and a side order of stuffed mushrooms…

11

O Meat, who art on my plate
Prime Rib be thy name.
Au Jus will come
May you never be well-done
like pork, or as it is
with chicken.
Keepest thou your daily bread.
Forgive me my carnivorousness
as I forgive thine cholesterol.
Feed me not of cauliflower,
and deliver me from broccoli.
For thine is what’s for dinner.
Amen.

12

To ChiefWahoo:

Victor Buono, right?

13

<modesty enabled>
No, that’s a ChiefWahoo original, conceived on the spot for the enjoyment of the SDMB
<modesty disabled>
Who’s Victor Buono?

14

What is browsing? Like grazing?
Count me in with the meat-eaters. Nothing like a nice rare steak, with sauteed mushrooms and some onions or some juicy chicken with lots of garlic or even some venison…oh yeah, Bambi burgers…oh, boy am I hungry!!!

ChiefWahoo…BRAVO!!!
May I print your poem out so I can keep it forever? I will put your name on it.
:smiley:

15

I’m a happy omnivore who also loves veggie meals and yes, even TOFU. What I don’t understand is the threat so many people feel about vegetarians. Granted, none of my veggie friends have been militants who feel compelled to put down what I’m eating. They’re all the live and let live type (appropro for vegetarians, I reckon). But even with that some people (my husband included) feel compelled to tease, interrogate, and goad vegetarians. I always say to him “How on earth is she threatening you? What do you care that she doesn’t eat meat?”

I’m totally put off by vegetarian extremism, but most of the vegetarians I’ve been friends with are totally cool people who view it as their own personal choice.
Now, please pass some steak AND some spinach salad, I’m hungry.

16

Actually, our intelligence is a result of the brain expanding due to the inclusion of large amounts protein in the diet.

17

Hell, I’ve had some people tell me I’m evil, immoral and downright cruel for eating meat, and that I’ll be going to hell…sigh

18

Isn’t prime rib a vegetable? It oughta be!

19

My experiences exactly. I don’t pester people to not eat meat, I don’t tell them how “evil” they are or anything like that. But damn - let someone find out I’m a vegetarian, and it’s the old tired routine (not unlike the OP) of “Oooh! Look at me! I’m eating bloody meat!” and then usually someone tries waving meat in my face. Come on. Grow up. I can see that behavior if I were preaching sermons and being obnoxious first, but I’m just sitting there, not (gasp!) eating meat. That seems to be enough to set some people off. What is the motivation behind this thinking?

20

PRISM02- This is the funniest thread line I’ve read in a LONG time! It’s right up there with “Suck my fat one, Bell Atlantic!” I hope you don’[t mind is I use it as mu sig line?