Don’t get me wrong; I have a great family, for the most part. But right now, I am so ready to go to college this August…it’s positively frightening.
I think I will scream the next time my mom says that I should go to law school. What is her reasoning for this? It’s not that I’ll enjoy law–it’s that I’ll MAKE MONEY. Okay, I know I need to support myself, and I know that I could “make it” in law school, but that does not at all appeal to me. My grandparents, on the other hand, are convinced that I’m going to be a doctor. I’ve tried rationally explaining my career choice to them, but they just don’t get it.
<to my family>
I want to be a psychologist. Of course, the fact that I’ve spent time in observation at the mental health center, the fact that all of my papers in high school were written on psychological subjects (schizophrenia, narcotic addiction, etc.) would’ve never told you this, right? I have to be a lawyer or a doctor, because they “run in the family.” Of course, I’m the only creative, artsy person in my family. I’m always an outcast at family functions because nobody takes the time to understand me. You just assume what you want for me is what I want, and my feelings be damned.
Of course, if I told you what I really feel about religion, if I told you that I’m bisexual, if I told you many things about me that are important to me, you’d kick me out of the house. Everything’s fine until something doesn’t go your way, and then I become everyone’s scapegoat. It’s my fault that my sister’s wild, it’s my fault that Dad’s not around a great deal, and it’s my fault that my mom is miserable.
And I think that you are all full of bullshit.
</to my family>
Like I said, they’re good people, and I like them, but I don’t think I can take their bullying and screaming and blame-throwing and narrow-mindedness much longer.
Don’t let them stress you out, because all you have to do is get through the summer.
Parents can be like that-I was lucky in that mine never used to tell me what they thought I shoud do-they waited until I made a decision for myself. There were times I wish they had stepped in though. Do what makes you happy-don’t change your plans because of what they think you should do.
[sub]I really wanted to reply to this because it’s the perfect place for my new sig[/sub]
Sorry about your plight, Nocturne. My parents did a similar thing me all through junior high and high school. When I wanted to be a journalist, my mom constantly pestered me to be a broadcast journalist, because they made a lot of money and if I ever wanted to write books then people would buy them on name recognition. I finally snapped and told her I didn’t want to be one of those vultures on the side of the highway with a microphone during a high-speed chase. She got huffy, said she washed her hands of the whole matter and would never again care what I did as a career, and then proceeded to bug me for four more years.
I also want to be a psychologist. Changing my major put most of the broadcast journalism stuff out of the picture, but my mom still urges me to be a psychiatrist, as I had originally decided, or a lawyer. I try to ignore it, as I ignore my mom when she tries to get me to change the part in my hair, but that doesn’t really seem to make it go away. I too was always the weird kid in the family, but thankfully my mom is growing up just a touch and realizing some of the stuff she gave me hell about-like “alternative music”-really wasn’t worth it. She’s getting better, but I suspect her development has limits. I imagine I will be forty and she’ll still ask why I’m not wearing lipstick to run to the frickin’ drugstore.
I love my family as well, but I can’t tell you how glad I was to get off to college. I’m not that far away, so my mom is always asking when I’ll come home and visit again. I got a job partly so it would give me a reason to stay in Austin that was kinder than screaming “I’m not coming home because you drive me out of my fucking mind!”
{{{Katie}}}
Two more months, honey, then you get to amble over to college and do your own thing, and your parents get no say:) And at some point perhaps you’ll be able to tell your parents all about the you they can’t see or don’t want to see or whatever, and it will be entirely their loss.
[sub]My family’s messed up, but sometimes I’m really glad I got stuck with 'em.[/sub]
Uh, Ballybay, I understand your frustration, but I feel your characterization of broadcast journalists is unfairly broad. My father is a broadcast journalist for CBC Radio news, and he’s won human rights awards for his reporting.
Nevertheless, he has been a bit annoying about my career goals. [/deft segue] Every so often, he asks me if I’m still considering law school. (I haven’t been for the last five years.) “But you’d be able to help so many people and right injustices!” I know. That’s why I respect Julius Grey and Clayton Ruby. That does not mean I want to be them. Thank you. THANK YOU.
Hmph. My father tried to push me to study philosophy. Really 
.
He also thought I should go to the University of Helsinki ( I’m an American in CA ), but that was for more “practical” reasons. He claimed the women there went crazy for dark-haired guys 
.
- Tamerlane
The only difference between a lawyer, doctor, and psychologist is the length they go to school, how much they have to pay for school, the hours they work, and the salary they receive.
It may sound like a lot of work, but do yourself a favor. Become a doctor or a lawyer. When your 35, any job is going to pretty much suck. You will be glad that at least your raking in $150k as a lawyer, instead of $50k as a psychologist. I should burst your bubble now, before you make a mistake.
Money ain’t everything, but think about all the things you and your family will be able to do because you have it.
Short time grief, long time relief.
Wishbone, have you somehow failed to notice that there are people in their midlives who still love their jobs? By and large, those are the people who chose a career they loved rather than one that will be financially advantageous to them.
Mental health is more important than wealth. This is even more true when the choice is between making $50K and $150K (than it is when, say, the choice is between making $50K and $3K).
I disagree with Wishbone. I have a friend trained as an attorney, who does not care to practice. Instead she passionately enjoys running a early childhood care center that the children enjoy and parents appreciate so much there is an extensive waiting list to enroll. Needless to say she earns less money as a ‘child care’ provider, but she is happy, passionate about her work and respected in our community.
Nocturne continue educate yourself in a field about which you feel passionate. You’ll be a happier, healthier adult and I believe a more productive member of your community. You’ve clearly been interested in psychology for most of your high school career and I think your focus is admirable. When my oldest was three, he told his father that he was going to fly airplanes when he grew up. Unlike most children his interest and desire to pursue that field has never changed. Like you Nocturne, he manages to make most project type assignments relate back to his interest of flying. Pursue your interest, Nocturne and BE HAPPY.
My best wishes,
Abby
I have friends who majored in their fields because they figured they’d be able to get jobs and make lots of money after they graduated.
They, and several hundred others, had the same idea. Major in this, graduate, then you’ll get a good job and make lots of money. And with money will come happiness. Or so the story is supposed to go.
Now, they and those several hundred others are all competing against each other for the few jobs there are here. They are also competing against the thousands who already have jobs but are looking for better ones.
What they also discover, upon graduating, is that of the jobs that are available, few are better than average, and even fewer pay well.
Some have connections, and find jobs quickly. Some can’t find work for months, and take odd jobs just to have income. Some decide to go to graduate school. Others move away. But for all of them, the surplus of jobs they thought would be there simply does not exist.
I think the worst part of it all is that a lot of them did not really enjoy their college work. They went to school to get it over with, to learn what they had to learn, and that was it. They didn’t follow any passions, or pursue any interests. I always felt that they were dooming themselves to a lifetime of career misery.
Yeah, money’s important, but material comforts and luxuries can only give you so much. I’d rather have a job I loved and an unremarkable paycheck than a job I hated waking up in the morning for and an enviable paycheck.
Follow your heart, Nocturne. Good luck to you.
Wow, as an ADULT student who is currently working on a Psychology degree (the first of several) I at first found your post offensive. Then I thought some more about it and realized it is just sad. Any job you’ll have at 35 is going to suck? Money is more important then doing what you feel you want to do with your life? (Including helping people?) Wow, I don’t think you burst his bubble, but I do think that you could use someone to chat with yourself about the Eyore-like attitude that you show. I believe that it’s people who go into a field primarily for money rather then personal satisfaction that end up bitching non-stop about their job, dreading getting up in the morning, and feeling bad about their choices down the road.
For what it’s worth, Nocturne, I think you’re doing the right thing. The “not enough money” people should look at the entire field of Psychology, not what they perceive as the field.
Information on what REAL salaries are in various Psychology fields is available here:
Go with your gut, Nocturn. E-mail me if you want to chat about psychology curriculums or general psych stuff. suzette100@yahoo.com
Zette
Sometimes we work the jobs we have to to do the things we want to!
Do what will make you happy.
They wanted to be doctor’s and lawyers? Great! You don’t. They already had their choice, they don’t get to make yours too. (I relate it to voting. everybody gets one vote. Thier own. Not thier kid’s, not their spouce’s, just thiers.)
You are in charge of your own happiness. If they are not happy, that is not your fault or problem, unless you want to be nice and help out. If they are unhappy about your choice of profession, they are SOL. Its YOUR profession. Your job. Youa re going to be doing it for the rest of your life. And if you love it, then you will be doing something you love for the rest of your life. That is good.
Mom will have to learn to live with it.