Poll: Office job or music school

I’m sitting here with my mom and we are having a civilized :rolleyes: discussion about my options for the future. Well, actually not my options, but my decision and her disagreement with it.

Situation: I am 25, I have a BA in psych from the university of MD., and am currently employed in a well paying office job, working for Citicorp, with strong growth potential and benefits. I could easily be financially stable for the rest of my life.

My decision: As my passion in life is music, I have decided to quit my job and study music at a local state university with the hopes of one day being able to compose and perform for a living.

My mother strongly opposes my decision and thinks I’m crazy for giving up my job.

Knowing I have access to this message board, she has requested I post this, in the hopes that you will all change my mind.

She has just requested that I add to this message the fact that I will be taking out loans.

What do you think?

Your mom is just concerned about your welfare–that’s why she doesn’t want you to throw away your safe, financially secure job. She’s worried that you will become one of those starving musicians that lives from hand to mouth, so don’t be harsh on her.

Saying that…

You need to follow your heart. You’re choosing something that could be a difficult path, but if it really is your passion, then by all means, do it. I’d hate to see you 15 years from now, still working for Citicorp, financially secure… yet, yearning to be doing what you really want to do and awfully miserable about it. Your life is going to be exactly what you want to make out of it.

Sorry, mom… I can’t talk him out of it. Do you really want him financially secure and miserable, or maybe scraping by, yet, truly happy in the life he’s chosen? And loans get paid–he may have to take up a job giving music lessons, or something along those lines… but you know as well as your son and me, that the loans will be paid.
(At 28, I quit my very secure job at a glass company to attend culinary school. I’ll be paying loans for a while, but I’ll be signing my checks happily.)

Java,

Thanks for the response. My mom thanks you too for a well though out, intelligent answer.

She maintains it is difficult for someone when it’s their own son, but I believe that deep down she knows you are correct. :slight_smile:

Good luck with the culinary arts.

Do both.
What’s the matter with young people nowadays? :wink:
Peace,
mangeorge

It’s just not possible to go to school fulltime and maintain an office job fulltime. Incidently, I am working partime at the office for as long as they are willing to keep me on.

But my mom seems to agree with you mangeorge so we thank you for the response.

Moe,

I don’t have much more life experience than you (I’m also in my mid-twenties), but I think you should follow what you want to do, if you think there is truly a future for you in it, and if you don’t have too many pressing commitments (eg marriage, a house/car, etc).

There aren’t too many composers these days who make money, but money isn’t everything, and if you have talent, as well as a love for music, it might not be a bad way to spend a few years. Most people don’t settle down into one thing forever, these days, so you might as well take a detour that you will get something great out of. And hey, the world might get some great compositions from you out of the deal too!

HenrySpencer.

mangeorge suggests: Do both. What’s the matter with young people nowadays? :wink:

Hear hear!! I agree with mangeorge completely!!

Here’s my opinion:
[list=1][li]Stay with your job.[/li][li]Go to music school at night. If the music school doesn’t offer night classes, find another local program that does, or take private lessons, or join a local community performance group.[/li][/list=1]Here’s what I did:

  • I was stuck in a low-paying administrative job.
  • I decided to go to graduate school.
  • I stayed at my low-paying administrative job and attended graduate school simultaneously.
  • I completed graduate school, and with the experience I had working during school, AND my good performance in school, I got a job at said school two months prior to graduation. I had a job waiting for me!

Moe, there is nothing wrong with reaching for the stars. Just don’t forget to keep your feet on the ground at the same time.

I have a friend of mine who has a PhD in music, who works as a technical writer!! Before you think, “Oh, she must have sold out,” let me tell you that she LOVES her life!! She has a job that provides a flexible schedule. Twice a week, she teaches music classes to disadvantaged high school kids at a local university. In the evenings after work, she goes and conducts music at a local community symphony. She tells me the only reason she can do all these fun music things with little or no pay, is because of her day job.

My general life philosophy (I’m in my late 30s – I’ve been around the block more than a few times) is: Do whatever you do at work to more than pay for your bills for those eight hours in the day, so that you can have fun with the other 16 hours in your day.. It’s worked really well for me and Obfusciatrist – we both LOVE what we’re doing!!

Go back to the office job. Music as a hobby.

go with your heart… i would say that you go to music school.
you might regret it if you dont afterwards…

I agree that keeping some sort of security is a good thing, if you can pull it off. Like, if you can take night classes, or less units per semester, or something. Like others here have mentioned.

You are still relatively young. The best time is NOW. (It always is, even if you are 60. NOW and not later! Dammit!)

I went to art school when I was in my 20s (the folks paid for it, bless them) and I remember the feeling I had - like I HAD to go. I HAD to do it. I was a pretty good artist, but there was so much I didn’t know, and I just thirsted for knowlege. I wanted to develop my skills and get more discipline. Art school was wonderful, and one of the best times of my life.

Don’t put it off. Whether you ultimately make a living with music or not (I’m not at the moment, but I am active in my art, always intend to be!) you need to do this thing. You don’t want to be one of those sad souls that says “I coulda, I shoulda” in 20 years. (No, it’s never too late to go back to school, but the longer you wait, the more difficult it seem will be to get to do it.)

I guess it depends on your situation.

I have four kids. When I get my degree, I will be obligated to stick with my career, whether I like it or not. I’ve got my family to think about, and my husband will be going back to school when I’m done, so I’ll be supporting the family.

Can you afford to throw away the last few years of work to go into another field which may not have as many opportunities? It sounds like changing careers is something that’s very important to you, and if you aren’t supporting anyone else, and are willing to take on the responsibility of additional student loans (or whatever is involved), then go for it.

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Baglady *
**mangeorge suggests: Do both. What’s the matter with young people nowadays? :wink:

Hear hear!! I agree with mangeorge completely!!

Here’s my opinion:
[list=1][li]Stay with your job.[/li][li]Go to music school at night. If the music school doesn’t offer night classes, find another local program that does, or take private lessons, or join a local community performance group. **[/li][/QUOTE]

Can’t do it Baglady. My mom is ecstatic over your post, but I just can’t put the energy into music that I want while working 40 hours a week in an office.
I was actually taking weekly lessons, plus attending a weekly jazz ensemble throughout the past year while I was working, but my creative energy is so shot after a day in that office, that I just don’t enjoy playing the way I want to.
I doubt it would be possible to take on a fulltime schedule at school while working fulltime.
Music is not a hobby. It is the only thing that matters to me. It is the only thing in my life that I find makes me glad I woke up that mourning. I want to try to be among the best. that means practicing 6 or 7 hours a day on average.
This is not something I can do half-assed.

Have a great time at burning man.

I vote for music school plus part time work.

And my vote should count a lot, because I’m walking in your shoes. I graduated from a snooty university and had a “career” for four years that I hated. It paid the bills (almost) but the stress and the boredom and the feeling that there was something else out there for me was too much. So I quit and moved to a new city. I’m thinking of going to film school and trying to work on the business side of film production, because I love movies and working as a freelance writer, because I love to write.

I’ve never had less money or less job security in my life (I’m temping until I find a job/decide for sure on school) but I’m paying my bills and doing okay.

It is possible to do the Citicorp career and school at the same time? Of course - lots of artists have day jobs.

But let’s apply the rule of dinner theater, shall we?
Two things that are quite good on their own get diluted when they are combined - you could devote all your resources to theater, and have good theater, or you could devote all your resources to dinner, and have a great dinner. When you try to stretch your resources too far you end up eating rubber chicken and watching “A Chorus Line” in the basement of a local church. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s not exactly the stuff that dreams are made on.

You are an intelligent person - I’m sure you could go far at Citicorp if you wanted to. But if you love music enough to want to devote your life to it, then you owe it to your music and your dream to follow it and see where it takes you. Trying to do both will only make you tired, stressed, and less of a musician or a financial professional than you could be if you just followed one. Why do music as a hobby when you can make it your LIFE? Music, any art form really, is a tough master and you have to give it your best self, not the self that is worn out after a day of being a banker. You are lucky - you know NOW what you want to do - you’ve honed in on it! Now go! I’m still sort of searching, but believe me when I find what it is I’ll go after it fully.

Your mom wants what’s best for you, as does mine. She is very worried about me finding a job here in Chicago. But we had a very telling exchange the other day when she called me to ask me how my current gig (temping at an advertising agency) is going. I told her it was fine, but really boring. She said “I can’t wait for the day I don’t hear you say that about your job.” See?

Right now, ask yourself (and have your mom ask herself) what’s the worst thing that can happen? That should give both of you some clarity.

Also, run, run, run to the bookstore and buy The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It’s a course designed to free up your creative side and help you give yourself the opportunity to be the artist you want to be. Maybe you and your mom can do the course together.

Good luck!

Forgot to say, it’s not your mom who’ll be putting in the next 40 years (until retirement at 65) at Citicorp. As long as she’s not financially supporting you or paying for school in any way, it’s not her decision. Don’t let her talk you out of something you really want because if it’s not the right decision you’ll blame her and your relationship will deteriorate over time. 20 years from now there will be the “I always wanted to be a musician and you didn’t let me” fight. You’ve got to take responsibility and do what you need to do.

Sorry Moe’s mom, I’ve got nothing but respect for you, but that’s the truth. We all want our parents to support and agree with our decisions, but sometimes we’ve got to live with a bit of disapproval in order to find our paths.

So, you’re 25. Your career is important, but there will be other jobs. What if you get laid off or fired? What if you end up with a terrible boss? What if you get a horrible illness (god forbid) or injury that prevents you from working? You’ve got to feed your soul. You can always get an office job job just like the one you have now if things don’t work out with music, but it’s a mistake to look at one job as the end-all and be-all. Think of how you want to spend your working life - the next 40+ years!!!

Security is overrated - don’t hold so tight to the thing that you have that you fail to reach for what you want.

Very greeting card of me, but true.

Are you married? no
Do you have kids? no
Do you have a mortgage? no

MUSIC SCHOOL MUSIC SCHOOL MUSIC SCHOOL

Mom, why should Moe become an office schlup in the prime of his life? There’s nothing wrong with continued learning, especially since he has responsibe only for himself. Besides, his previous education wasn’t good enough since he never learned to spell the word “genius”. :wink:

Another thing: I personally don’t believe that one should measure success by how much money another makes. I think Moe should do what makes him happy.

Magdalene first off, parttime work (and lots of it) goes without saying. I am completely financially independant of my parents and intend to stay that way. Now let me say that your posts were right on!! You’ve put my thoughts into words very nicely, so thank you. (just as a sidenote, I am 100% committed (sp?) to school and start in a week. This thread is more of a fun thing than an attempt to make up or change my mind, but mom insisted I do it anyway. ::shrug:: )
Best of luck to you in finding your path, be it in film, writing, under water basket weaving, etc.

saxface so nice of you to drop by!! :slight_smile: (not to mention chalking up another vote for Moe ;))
I believe the count is 7-3 (roughly) in my favor (but I’ll review the thread to get a more definite count a little later)
So, you’re going to hold my misspelling of “genius” over me for long time, ain’t ya? :wink: (good thing I’m not going to school for english).

Fortunately, my parents encouraged me to follow my passions (though with some trepidation). I went to music school (though I really felt like I had no business being there what with my lack of knowledge and experience prior to entering). I had an office job that I HATED (just not my type of work–though the co-workers were cool). Now I’m a music teacher at a middle school. (very challenging, but far more rewarding that the office job). In my spare time I write and perform. (Just made my first demo, too.) There has been much heartbreak and many sucky times, but I much prefer this to the “safer” route (I was basically offered a printing business–but I have no interest in that, why do what you have no interest in?)

Oh, and I have to echo Magdalene…The Artist’s Way rocks. Get yourself a copy of this book. Repeat, get yourself this book.

Follow your passions. Follow your passions. Follow your…eh, you get the idea.

Make that 9-3 in favor of Moe. I got a degree in linguistics with an eye to becoming a translator, but I was so worried about paying the bills and eating that I went out and got a full-time job. Now my energy is shot at the end of the day and I don’t often make time for either getting some skills in translation or playing around with the music theory books I’ve bought online. (Wannabe jazz violinist, doncha know.)

Well, to be honest the picture isn’t as bleak as it sounds. I’m signed up for a certification course at the USDA graduate school (who’d’a thunk the USDA did stuff like that?) and Mrs. O is going back for her bachelor’s/master’s in nursing. It’s gonna be rough for a while, but inside of two years we’ll have something new to work with.

OTOH, Moe, you have no similar obligations (read: Moelings) to consider and are in a much better position to make music school your primary focus over the next few years. Had I a better head on my shoulders in the same situation I would have gone full steam ahead. Go for it, bucko! And the best of luck to you.

Good luck in school, Moe! You’ll be my inspiration.