So, I was just finishing up a quick call to my co-worker trying to sort out a project that’s heading off the rails. An alert popped up on my screen — my lovely bride-to-be has just emailed me!
“I love you!” I said, as I hung up the phone,… to Larry.
:smack:
It’s bad enough when you say that to a female co-worker. Larry, of course, is the king of shenanigans. This will be a long, long week.
Niiiice. Personally, I’m all about the inappropriate “you too.”
“Happy birthday!”
“You too!”
But I’ve never thought to trot out the inadvertent “I love you.” That will give my social awkwardness the boost it needed.
I’ve come so close to telling various women that I barely knew “I love you” at the end of a phone call. I think it’s because for 8 out of the past ten years, the only women I ever spoke to were my mother, my sister, and a girlfriend.
Many many times I’d leave home for vacation, and someone would say “Have a nice vacation” and I’d say “You too!”
Oops, posted too late.
You too.
Lol - I feel your pain. I was out with a friend doing some grocery shopping when a high maintenance co-worker called. He and I chatted for a few minutes but then it was my turn at the checkout and I was trying to finish up and not be rude while I tried to put cans on the conveyor belt and smile at the cashier.
“Okay - okay - I gotta go - the cashier is ringing me up - ok - talk to you later - love you - bye!”
My friend looked at me strangely because she knew it wasn’t my boyfriend - and then my words hit me. I was red everytime I saw that co-worker for the whole next week. He started calling himself my work husband . . .
I’ve done it to library patrons on the phone. “Okay, we’ll look for that obituary for you and e-mail it to you either today or tomorrow.” “Great, thanks! Bye-bye, now!” “I love you!” <click>
My major stupid verbal accident is to answer the conventional Danke, Ihnen auch (thanks, same to you) to food service workers/cashiers who wish me Guten Appetit (have a nice meal). Reciprocating the good wish is stupid in this case because, they are not going to tuck in any time soon.
So there was this French guy who came to work at the office, we where exchanging some general use Thai phrases and he asks me how to say “I love you” to a girl; “pom rak kun”, he repeats it but it’s not quite right, so I say it again, and so on and so forth several times when some Thai coworkers walk by and find us saying “I love you” to one another repeatedly… Kind of embarrassing but funny.
I still blush about this. I used to work at a pizza restaurant. One typically chaotic Friday evening I’d been answering phones all night.
“Pizza Restaurant, can you please hold?” Switch lines, take and order, hang up, answer the next call,
“Pizza Restaurant, can you please hold?” Switch lines, take an order, answer the next call…Repeat…for about 4 hours straight. Finally things were slowing down and a call came in that I didn’t need to put on hold. I tried to say, “Pizza Restaurant, how can I *help *you tonight?” but what came out was…
“Pizza Restaurant, how can I ***hold ***you tonight?”
The caller? It was my boss’s twin brother. My teenage self was mortified, but he thought it was hilarious. Good times!
Oh, Lord, my tongue has slipped so many times I can’t even remember them all. I remember getting some sort of award as an undergrad. As I receive the award from the college dean, I start to say “thanks,” but realize that it’s a tad too informal, so I tack on the word “you” for “thank you.” Yeah, it came out “Thanks you.”
What an idiot.
Just this past Saturday night:
Jimmy Johns delivery dude [turning to leave] “Enjoy your dinner!”
Me [as the storm door is closing] “Thanks, man. You too! … Aw, sh-” [storm door latches]
JJdd [inaudible laughing]
Don’t worry PoorYorick. “Thanks” will become the official and standard formal use of the term after it becomes the first word uttered by a human to a Vulcan, ca. April 5, 2063.
I accidentally kissed my former MIL on the lips, and my mouth was slightly open. I SWEAR it was an accident! I wasn’t planning for a kiss at all. I was going in for a hug. I think she was aiming for cheek kisses. Somehow our lips met as I was taking in air. I don’t know what happened, but I think I creeped her out a little. Because how do you apologize for something like that? At least I didn’t grab a boob at the same time.
It’s been near fifteen years and I still feel like a moron when I think about it.
Oh, there’s been so many I don’t even remember. Some of the ones in this very thread, as a matter of fact.
I accidentally kissed a co-worker full on the mouth. I was working in Europe (the land of the air cheek kiss) and it was his last day so we were doing the kissy thing and both went the same way at the same tiem and ended up kissing on the mouth. It was very disconcerting and we both turned a lovely shade of red.
Still not as bad as Rushgeekgirl though…
About 20 years ago I got into the first serious relationship I’d been in in a long time. My relationship decorum skills were a tad rusty. The first time I met the girl’s mother, I wasn’t sure how to greet her. Handshake? Too businesslike. Hug? Maybe. I ended up kissing her on the lips. Everyone, her included, looked at me funny. But what could I do after that? Not kissing her on the lips felt like it would be an insult, so I greeted her that way from then on.
Thank God the relationship only lasted a year.
I accidentally ended a phone call to my ex with “I love you”. Didn’t even realize it till he paused awkwardly and said “I love you too.”
Yeah, felt like crap about that one. Especially since I’d been the one to break up with him, and he had only within the last year or so gotten to the point where he was definitely over it.
At least? At least? That would have made the story ten times funnier! 
I put my arm around my then-mother-in-law, who is a slighter woman than my ex-wife, and got a handful of her boob.
She said it was the most action she’d had in years.
My ex-wife and I talk on occasion just to keep up with things, (we’ve been divorced for 7 years) friendly banter about how our lives are going and stuff, nothing flirtatious or anything.
We’re ready to hang up and I say:
Me: Talk to you later! 
Her: Okay, love you honey, bye!
Me: Hangs up phone.
Her: (1 minute later laughing) Um you know what I mean. :o
We could probably do an entire thread on awkward kiss stories.
I used to work with someone that I had a major crush on. She was off limits, because she was married and I was in a relationship, but there always seemed to be a weird sexual tension going on.
One night everyone in the office went out to a restaurant for our annual holiday party. We ended up sitting next to each other, and we’d both had a few drinks. After a while I decided it was time for me to go, while everyone else stayed and partied for another hour or so. I gave everyone a hug goodnight (at the time I worked with all women). Of course I hugged the woman I had a crush on, and I went for an innocent little cheek kiss. I don’t know what she was thinking, but I swear she was going for my lips. There was a little confusion about where we were headed. She ended up kissing me on my chin and I kissed her on her nose.
It was a little hard facing her the next day.