I think I was in third grade – I called my teacher “Mom” once. :smack:
I’ve done the inappropriate love-you to a female friend. She looked at me funny. But then I accidentally did it again, and she said “Luv ya, too.” I always thought it was funny.
Also, I once had a girl giving me a hug for helping her out on her computer, but I stood up just at that time, and lifted her up off the ground.
I’ve also had the opposite happen when I shrugged, and got a hug out of it. Not that I minded, but I’d just met the person.
Finally, I hate it when people get really, really close to you like they are going to give you a hug, and then don’t. Once you start a hug, please go ahead and give it.
Okay - y’know what? Y’all are sick. Take a nice memory of my dead father and go there with that. :mad:
ok, ok - I guess I gotta expect that. actually, totally expected that. but i hope i panicked you for just a moment - because you deserved it!
Why would I, when my other one is busy?
I hate when people stick their hand out straight in front of them like they are expecting you to shake their hand when they really want a high five. However, my friends have a pretty good sense of humor about this, so the few times it’s happened to me, we both realize what’s going on and shake hands really exaggeratedly.
I never hugged/kissed my parents, but my wife’s family are very touchy-feely like that. I see them much more often than my own parents, and now when I see mine we seem to do the same thing. I blame my wife - if she hugs my mum and I don’t, I feel bad, even though I never used to for the first 25 years of my life. It’s all just too confusing. 
Wait… it was a zombie hug?
Is that why they always walk with their arms stretched out in front of them?
You are not an idiot.
That has happened to a lot of people for precisely the reasons you defined.
Of course, it has NEVER happened to me.
I mean, I am not an idiot, after all.
Cringe.
Came in to tell same about one of my best friends calling pur physics teacher “dad”. She was about 14 and mortified.
This is the best thread I’ve ever read.
All I have to add is I went through a period in my life where I was working three jobs. Understandably, this started to take a toll on my work performance. One day, while working at Denny’s, I picked up the phone and said “Blockbuster Video, how can I help you?” The person on the line said “Uh, is this Denny’s” and all I could say was “Yes.”
Okay, that and I accidentally kissed my mom on the mouth once, far past the age when that is called for.
I have answered the phone incorrectly multiple times, two jobs where you answer the phone a lot can equal a lot of confusion!! The worse times are when I pick up the phone and the restaurant and can’t remember where I am. So I just hold the phone until my brain cathes up with the mouth and I can say “Thank you for calling blah, how can I help you” Sometimes that ten seconds can feel like an eternity.
I had a premature L Word occur on my 3rd date with the guy that I now am blissfully in love with. However, it was way too early and I was no where near the point of feeling it much less saying it. We were celebrating his birthday, which happened to fall in the first 3 weeks of us dating and I got him something very small, but something that he had mentioned liking and was really floored that I had paid attention.
Trying to brush it off as no big deal (because it really was no big deal), I said, I live for birthdays and I like to make them special for the people I love. Or, um, I mean my friends, or um, people I care about, um yeah. Pretty much couldn’t figure out how to fix it but kept trying to explain it away. Thankfully, he just said thank you again and we got back to dinner.
My wife and I had been married for about 5 years. My mom and dad came to our house for a visit. I was going from the kitchen through the very small dining area to the living room, and my wife had her back to me, setting the table for dinner.
So, as I was trying to get past her, I playfully grabbed a handful of butt cheek and gave it a healthy squeeze.
It. Didn’t. Feel. Quite. Right.
The funny thing was, my mom thought it was my dad, and said, “Not in front of the grandkids!”
I think a lot of people have done that. In fact, I remember seeing a kid do it - maybe even in 3rd grade? - and the teacher laughed and said something along those lines, that all teachers get called “Mom” eventually. Makes sense: they’re the two top female figures in most kids’ lives. You may un-smack yourself.
During a recent conversation about a part of town my parents think is Teh Ghetto, I mentioned that they must think men roam the street with AK-47s, forcing you to buy guns at drugpoint.
“You will buy this pistol or else this coke is going up yer nose!”
When I used to work at Suncoast, the phone scripts would get longer and longer and half the time I’d answer my home phone or cell “Thank you for calling Suncoast where you can now sign up for Dish Network how can I help you?!” or “Thank you for calling Suncoast where you can now reserve your copy of Stupid Fucking Movie, available on January 14, how can I help you?!”
It was very difficult for me to stop in the middle of that, too.
At the drive-thru at Cook Out, they say “It’s my pleasure to serve you at the window.” I never thought I’d yearn for the days of “pull forward.”
Great combination of username and post.
The funny thing with kids at school is that it’s not even slightly specific to you - it’s just what they’re thinking about when they speak. I get called Mum, Dad, Sir, Miss, all the time; and on one lovely occasion a colleague was addressed as “Uncle Colin”. How that just slips out I have no idea.
When I was working at the Hobby Shop I was ringing up a customers purchase. My manager indicated to me from across the store he was heading to the basement for stock.
Instead of saying a little loudly “ok Rob” I said “22.95$” loudly, the customer I was serving jumped about 5 feet. My boss lossed it in laughter.