I made my gynocologist drop his speculum!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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Today, I was at my annual visit to the GYN. Most women dread this visit, your bits are all out in the open and you sit/lay in a most uncomfortable position to be probed and poked, just to get your prescription for birth control pills for the next year. Me, I find it funny. You see, I have a retroverted uterus. Apparently, this makes finding my cervix difficult. My first GYN claimed she could not find it at all :eek: It’s right there at the end, says I. The canal is like a tunnel, it must end somewhere. Still she had incredible trouble with my particlar anatomy. Needless to say I left quickly, yelling at the office staff to bill me as soon as she can find it!

Give or take 10 years and some searching and digging by doctors with less than deft hands, I have learned to instruct them. So… as he places the speculum and tells me that he is having trouble…I tell him that it is back and to the right like Kennedy’s head. The laughing and clattering ensue. Dr. tells me that he has never had this occur and he DID NOT fail speculum 101. Still stark naked I tell him a joke…
What do a pizza boy and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but can’t eat it.

By this point both the doctor and nurse are in tears, laughing. The exam was completed with strict instructions from both not to utter a sound. I have been declared their favorite patient, but no way will I go back sooner than I have to!

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grin That’s one sick joke, keturah … but I *like * it!

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Hmf. Some gals I’ve known would have had the speculum drop in!

4

It’s like throwing a hot dog down a hallway :stuck_out_tongue:

5

That is by far the most awesome joke I have heard in a long while.

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keturah, you owe my public library a new keyboard. :smiley:

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Naval simile: like throwing a kitbag into a dry-dock. :smiley:

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You are as ick woman, keturah. I like that in a person.

Which is why I feel free to ask…have you seen Dead Ringers ?

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That was supposed to be “a sick woman”…wasn’t trying to be quite *that * rude :).

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That was funny! My daughter thinks it’s hilarious too. Says she, “HA! That’s funny and it makes me hungry-- is that wrong?”

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I bow to your magnificence :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

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“Retroverted uterus”? :confused: What is that, and how does it happen? I’m getting unwanted images of a tragic accident involving adolescent curiosity and an industrial shop-vac. :eek:

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No biggie. It just means the uterus tips forward instead of back (or is it back instead of forward?). At any rate, the cervix doesn’t point directly down, so the gynecologist has to work a little to bring it into view.

At my last “well woman” visit, the PA asked me if I needed to be tested for any STDs. I shook my head, and she asked again. I replied, “man, I haven’t even seen a penis, let alone gotten to do anything fun with one, in way too long.” Apparently, I was her favorite patient of the day.

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Awesome, Keturah!

Cracking jokes, bad ones at that, while a doctor has his hands up your hoo-ha is a sign of a very twisted mind. I like that in a person.

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I saw the words “retroverted uterus” and I started thinking of a uterus dressed in paisley and platform shoes …

I think it’s time for bed.

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A doctor’s fingers? What?

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Just send the bill, I will submit it to my insurance company :cool:

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You have to do those visits naked? I thought they at least give you a gown…

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or do you just show up at the doctor’s office in a bathrobe? :cool:

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Dear Penthouse Forum:

Even though I was a gynecologist, I never thought that it would happen to me…