I made up a joke...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Agreed. It could be made even worse if it was “I belong to a 15-year-old boy who just discovered online porn and uses me for masturbatory purposes and fills me with semen.”

The real power of a joke is that everyone knows about the social taboo in the punchline and so a mere reference to it is just enough. Having to explain the taboo either in the punchline or beforehand takes all the wind out of its sails. It’s like starting a joke “You know how that place Nantucket rhymes with ‘fuck it’? Well…”

Of course, the social taboo has to be known by the majority of the audience, and the sock thing clearly is not.

But I laughed.

22

Hey, without the extra details, it’s a joke you could tell to grandma and crude friends. She’d just think the sock was complaining about teenager’s smelly feet.

23

People actually use socks for that? I thought this is why God invented tissues.

24

I told it this way at work today and although it didn’t get a roaring laugh, it got a nice chuckle and a “that was pretty good” comment

So there’s a basket full of dirty laundry and all the clothes are talking about how bad they have it. This big greasy shirt says “I’m the dad’s shirt. He takes me to work, sweats in me all day, wipes his greasy hands on me, spills beer and food all over me and leaves me stinking in a corner.” A pair of jeans speaks up and says “I belong to the mother. I’m two sizes too small for her and I just about burst at the seams every time she puts me on, not to mention the perma-wedge I get stuck in”. Next a pair of little flowered underwear says “You guys got nothing. I belong to a little girl who still wets the bed some times.” Finally they all notice this crumpled dingy little sock in the corner and they say “Hey, what’s your story? Why do you look so glum?” The sock says “I belong to a fifteen year old boy”.

Maybe not the best interpretation but I think it can be built on.

25

ooops I should have added the “…And I don’t want to talk about it.” I think that makes it funnier and easier to understand

26

I got it right away and I’m female. Even though guys don’t always use socks to masturbate in, I thought it was pretty obvious. You know, teenage boys…masturbating a lot…

27

I like it better this way since you don’t see the punchline coming from a mile away.

28

Wow! thanks for all the great responses, Clivas, I actually like your version better than my original, as it doesn’t telegraph the ending.

Keep em coming every one!

Thanks again

29

Not bad, but I’d lose one of the antecedents. I almost lost interest,

30

Would re-tell.

31

Agreed. Two seems to be the magic number for a joke.

32

Many of the comments made by earlier posters seem to have been used by the writer of this joke. I’m not the writer, but I sure have used this joke a few times in my life, as I’ve always considered it damn near a perfect joke…

Two dogs are sitting in cages next to each other at the veterinarian’s office (Two - the magic number!). One dog looks at the other and says, “This place is horrible, I can’t stand it. So tell me, what did you do to get brought in here?”

The other dog looks over and says, “Yeah, you’re right, it really sucks locked up like this. It all started yesterday afternoon. My owner is a big, fat, ugly bastard. He was cooking steaks on the grill in the back yard. Well, he left one hanging off the edge of the plate, next to the grill, with juice just dripping off it. I looked at it for a minute, and I figured, Ah, what the hell, I’m gonna grab it and run. And so I did. I damn near got the whole thing down, too, before he caught me down the street.”

“No, shit?”, says the other dog, “that sucks”.

“What’d you do to get brought in?”, asks the first dog.

“Well, my owner is a beautiful blond college girl. Last night she left the bathroom door open when she took a shower. I walked by and saw her standing there after her shower, with one foot up on the edge of the tub, toweling off. I watched her like that for a minute, with her back to me. My eyes started to water, I started slobbering, and I thought, Ah, what the hell. So I jumped up on her back and started fucking her like mad.”

The other dog says, “Holy SHIT! You’re being put to sleep for THAT???”

The first dog says, “Being put to sleep? No, I’m just here to have my nails trimmed!”.

33

I don’t get the association. Yes, 15 year old boys have the highest number of participants in masturbation (80%), but why would your mind automatically go there? Is it because so many jokes are dirty, that you knew this one would likely be, too?

The only time I’ve ever seen a dirty sock used in a joke, it has always been about how they smell. So that was the only thing I could think the post was about.

Of course, I don’t understand why you would use socks or anything else to masturbate into. Your skin naturally absorbs the stuff. And why would being masturbated into be any worse than any of the others.

In other words, I really, really don’t get this joke. And if you have to explain it, well, it isn’t very good.

Of course, I’m the guy who didn’t get this Burger King ad…

34

Your skin naturally absorbs ejaculate??

35

Yours doesn’t? I hear it’s great for the skin actually. :wink:
I had a girlfriend who would rub it all over her face. God that was sexy.

36

Apparently it’s great for guy’s skin but not on women’s. At least according to Vice magazine’s elite scientists.

37

Ick.
ETA: I liked Clivas’ version better.

38

Maybe, but wouldn’t that take some rubbing? And by then, aren’t you done rubbing?

39

There’s a similar joke my friends and I told (early 80s). All the body parts were complaining about who had the worst job. The nose, the hands, the feet (all involving the gross things they were made to do). The penis ends by saying something like, “Well, he makes me put on a rain coat and do push ups until I throw up.”

A google search revealed this variation:

A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, “My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!”. The cat says, “I don’t think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter.” The penis outraged, says “At least your master doesn’t put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!”

40

Thanks Runs With Scissors, and everyone else.

The structure of the body part joke is identical to the one I made up, and I am amazed as I can now recall hearing it in the early eighties, but had completely forgotten about it until RWS pointed out the joke he had heard.

I honestly thought I had made that up.

awkward pause

So…

Has anyone else made up any “new” jokes?

regards