How long has it been since a RhymerDrama thread? A week, you say?* Too long!
And now the story.
My next-door neighbor has a large, unfriendly dog she does not keep caged, leashed, nor properly fenced.^ I don’t know the breed, partly because I don’t know much about such things and partly because I don’t care enough to find out. What I do care about is the dog’s propensity to escape from the neighbor’s property and roam the street looking for flesh to bite. It’s lunged at me, Kim the Rhymer, and Cinderella the Rhymer on multiple occasions, as well as other people who live on this street. Each time we complain, the owner swears that her dog would never, ever actually harm anyone, that we’re overreacting, that it will never happen again, and that **we **need to respect the **dog’s **space. When we point out that the dog’s space does not include the street, the sidewalk at the end of the street, or other people’s driveways, its owner says that it’s just a dog and doesnt understand that.
Yesterday afternoon, my stepdaughter took out the garbage, as that is what civilized people do when the bin is 3/4 full.** Our garbage can is in the back yard,^^ behind our fence, which does have a working gate. REallyI should say that Cinderella tried to take out the garbage, because she was unable to finish. You see, the dog was roaming again and was in OUR yard. It chased her around for a bit, but she managed to stay just far enough ahead of it to close the gate behind her, trapping it in our back yard.
I won’t lie. We Rhymers are not always of one mind about how to deal with the world. But in this case we were all of a single opinion. Before I could even make a suggestion, Kim had already grabbed the phone book and looked up the number for animal control, and as soon as she found it I immediately called. They arrived with shocking efficiency–within two hours–and took the beast away.
That was yesterday. This morning the neighbor knocked on our door in fury. Why hadn’t we called her to let her know her dog was on the loose? (She was at work and we don’t have a work or phone number for her.) Why couldn’t we just wait until she got home and could get the dog? (It’s not our responsibility to look after a canine that just tried to eat one of us.) Don’t we realize that she’s under a court order to keep the dog under lock and key because it’s already bitten someone? (No, as you never told us that, and in fact this revelation exposes you as a liar when you say the dog is no danger to anyone). Don’t we care that we have made it look like she’s violating the court order and as a result her poor baby may be murdered? (No, we don’t. Well, that’s not true. We’re kind of hoping the dog gets put down, or at least I am. Also your dog is not a baby, as it is not a person. You and your dog may of the same species, however, as you are clearly a stupid bitch.)
I’m sure there will be additional drama in time and will keep y’all posted if said drama is sufficiently outrageous or amusing.
*I don’t actually know. Why on Earth would I keep track of such a thing?
^There is a fence on the sides of her property. However, there is no gate. To escape the fence the dog need only walk parallel to it and to the street. The neighbor is…confused…about the meaning of the word fence.
**This I mention because I have seen the neighbor in question drag overstuffed bags to her outside can on multiple occasions and begin cursing loudly when the bag breaks and she has to clean up the mess.
^^Mentioned because of the trifecta of stupidity: the neighbor leaves her bin on the street for days at a time.