I Meet My Destiny

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

When destiny knocks, you feel a lot of fear. It’s just you and the universe and you’re both naked and cold. At first, I wanted to curl into a ball and hide. Now, I’m ready to fling the door open and embrace my fate.

I have the training. Oh, not as much as I’d like. I want to find a mentor. The greatest lives here in town, but I dare not approach him.

I have the uniform. I sewed it myself.

I have the maps.

I have the bus pass.

The time is here to begin my life as a street clown. I have a motley tailcoat and stovepipe hat. I have big pants. I have the balloons. Now is the time to take my life in my hands and twist into interesting and amusing shapes. The streetcorners and parks are just waiting for me.

I left off the make up, so as not to scare kids. I do without big floppy shoes, in case I have to run.

I am ready to be a laughingstock.

I hope the money’s good.

2

Don’t you need a permit or license to do this? You might want to check prior to starting out.

I wish you well, but have to say that I hate clowns and was always scared of them as a kid, and not just because of the make-up. sorry.

3

I’ve looked into the laws. AFAI can find, I don’t need a permit in Philadelphia. However, I must remain a performer working for tips. If I were a vendor selling balloons, I’d need a tax ID number. I’d have to charge sales tax and various other laws would apply.

To avoid scaring kids, I also don’t make loud noises or move suddenly. Indeed, my goal is to give the appearance of a clown who doesn’t know what he’s doing and needs the kids’ help.

4

Well, I think you’ll need to show SOME animation or else you’ll be a strange man dressed funny…

I hope it works out for you. I like the balloon animals that clowns make. Sorry to be a downer in your thread. It IS scarey to go out and put yourself on the line. I would wear a lil bit of makeup (no Bozo stuff), though…wouldn’t it help you get in character?

Kids do love to show their prowess at stuff, so if you can be as inept as you can, and still be funny, I’ll bet you are hit!

5

Go get 'em, tiger! Must have been one big leap of faith, that’s for sure.

6

Who exactly is this mentor you consider the greatest?

7

Captain Visual IMHO the greatest living balloon artist in the known universe.

I was lucky enough to run into him today.

I also had a run in with security.

I was clowning on the steps of the Franklin Institute (and doing great), when a guard politely and cordially informed me I wasn’t allowed to be here. I apologized, said I didn’t know and stopped making balloons. I asked, purely as a courtesy, if it was okay if I went inside for some astronaut ice cream. The guard said he’d have to check.

To me, this is what happened- Stop that! Okay, I’ve stopped sorry for doing it can I buy some freeze dried goodness now

To the guards inside what happened was- Flagrant money grubbing law breaker is illegally plying his trade on the steps. Then he asks “I’ve raped your mother, can I have your sister now?”.

When some guards finally came out they were quite pissed. “You’re not authorized to be here at all.” and “Call the cops.”

Denied my astronaut ice cream, I began to walk away. This being a safe spot, I went to transfer some money from my clown tool belt to my wallet. As soon as I did this, a nearby police officer shouted.

“You are not authorized to recieve money here. Please leave.” Don’t be misled by the courtesy. This was an authoritarian you’re-seconds-away-from-arrest voice.

I explained that I hadn’t received money since they told me to stop and was just transferring my own money between pockets, although I’d certainly leave if he wanted me to.

“I’m asking you to leave. Please leave.” In the same authoritarian voice.

I feel awful. I made a mistake. Then I get yelled at all out of proportion, denied astronaut ice cream and then yelled at by a cop.

Later, I stepped in gum.

8

That sounds like you had folks there with a serious clown-phobia problem (is there a real word for this?) Shame. So – you didn’t get any ice cream at all?

9

That’s so sad. Are you going to try another location tomorrow? Good luck.

10

Tomorrow, I plan to buy more balloons, speak with my local comic book store owner (who is a wealth of information about Philadelphia) and try a park in the University City district.

11

I can vouch for his ability to make a nice set of wearable Bighorn Sheep horns.

12

You’re setting me up here, aren’t you?

13

Nope…you weren’t at What Exit’s DopeFest last summer…

14

What you endeavor to do takes balls of granite. I wish you the best of luck, sir , and my hat off to you.

15

Dont let anyone tell you to quit clowning around! Seriously, hang in there dude.

16

Now those are gonna scare some kids.

17

Could you tell us more about your vocation and background? - What drives you? Did you quit something else to spend time doing this? - If so, was it something in the outside world that made you take this step, or something happening in your inner world? - Why do you take the risks you’re taking, for being a clown, following your destiny?

18

As long as you promise not to do any miming, I promise to throw a coin or two your way. :wink:

(Can I get a sparkly balloon hat?)

19

I was a psych major back in college.

The desire to make people laugh, and to earn money.

Nope

I guess it started with making funny faces at bored kids on the bus. Then, I did a simple magic trick for my niece and she wanted more. So, I started doing magic tricks on the bus too. Then, I saw clown balloons in the dollar store. I bought a pack and was pretty good.

I was in a medieval re-enactment society. I was unsure what to be. After two days, I was made a jester by acclamation. I’ve always wanted to know how to juggle. A few years ago, a friend gave me a unicycle. So many things seem to point at clowning. My shrink is behind the idea. Everything seems to fit.

As far as risks, I am obsequious to cops and security. In fact, the guard who told me to leave the Liberty Bell area was cordial, polite, and helpful. I don’t fear mugging or beating. My pump is a decent weapon and I wear normal shoes so I can run fast. I have other strategies as well.

20

The run in with security spooked me badly. But, I refused to give up. Yesterday, I talked with my local comic book store owner. I am now engaged to draw traffic and hand out balloons the next time he has sale or other promotion.

I went back to the scene of my greatest clown triumph, Clark park. During a festival there, I made a bit of money. Yesterday, I learned a great lesson. Children are my business. The average adult would rather give money to a pan handler than buy a balloon animal. But, the children can’t get enough. I knew kids were more enthusiastic about clowns, but I expected to make some money from adults. I made more money in the few hours at the park than on all the other days combined. Having several security personnel pass me by without comment also helped a great deal. I hadn’t realized how badly the incident at the Franklin Institute had effected me. Now I can think about it without shuddering.

It also helped that more than a few people spontaneously pointed and laughed at me. I was just walking by and somebody would point and let out the laughter.

I see now that to make money from adults I have to focus more on the performance. I cannot juggle. My unicycle needs repairs. But, I was getting pretty good at it. Swordswallowing is an option. Yes, I am serious. I’m also considering dramatic readings of the poetry of Shel Silverstein.