Good job on the sobriety, Lobsang! You’re doing the right thing.
If you ever get to feeling weak, re-read some of the drunken OPs that you used to right. That should put you back on track. 
Congrats on your soberness to date.
You are facing the prospect of a 2008 with finding new and exciting activities to derive pleasure from. You have the opportunity to work on your social awkwardness which will lead to meaningful relationships. And you will find that socializing is not difficult without alcohol, but it is difficult without confidence and practice. So rather than masking your lack of confidence/practice with alcohol, you’ll truly be able to increase your confidence and get some practice.
It’s only once you’ve truly made a change in your lifestyle, more than just stopped drinking, that you will understand the rewards of sobriety. Sobriety in itself is not a reward. Being able to do things you thought yourself unable to do, is.
Set yourself some tangible goals unrelated to drinking. For example, pick a hobby. Go to the library and read up on it (gets you out of the house and around people rather than looking on the internet). Find a class related to the hobby and go to it at least once. It doesn’t matter whether or not this is the ultimate hobby for you, you may find you don’t enjoy it as much as you expected. Or you may enjoy it more. The key is to shake up your lifestyle a bit, introduce some new colour, help you feel like you’re making changes.
Look at increasing your exercise. It’s good for your body and soul. How fit would you need to be to do the Road of the Gull? Start off with smaller walks, increasing your fitness.
Make a plan to visit all the heritage sites in a year. Take a beautiful photo of each castle, cross, church. Post a link here so we can admire your photography.
Make a commitment to see three plays at the Gaiety Theatre this year. Doesn’t matter what they are - just see what’s on at the time!
[QUOTE=sandra_nz]
Congrats on your soberness to date.
You are facing the prospect of a 2008 with finding new and exciting activities to derive pleasure from. You have the opportunity to work on your social awkwardness which will lead to meaningful relationships. And you will find that socializing is not difficult without alcohol, but it is difficult without confidence and practice. So rather than masking your lack of confidence/practice with alcohol, you’ll truly be able to increase your confidence and get some practice.
It’s only once you’ve truly made a change in your lifestyle, more than just stopped drinking, that you will understand the rewards of sobriety. Sobriety in itself is not a reward. Being able to do things you thought yourself unable to do, is.
Set yourself some tangible goals unrelated to drinking. For example, pick a hobby. Go to the library and read up on it (gets you out of the house and around people rather than looking on the internet). Find a class related to the hobby and go to it at least once. It doesn’t matter whether or not this is the ultimate hobby for you, you may find you don’t enjoy it as much as you expected. Or you may enjoy it more. The key is to shake up your lifestyle a bit, introduce some new colour, help you feel like you’re making changes.
Look at increasing your exercise. It’s good for your body and soul. How fit would you need to be to do the Road of the Gull? Start off with smaller walks, increasing your fitness.
Make a plan to visit all the heritage sites in a year. Take a beautiful photo of each castle, cross, church. Post a link here so we can admire your photography.
Make a commitment to see three plays at the Gaiety Theatre this year. Doesn’t matter what they are - just see what’s on at the time!
[/QUOTE]
Sandra, this is wonderful advice, and very well-said. Except maybe for the theater part… 
[QUOTE=Dinsdale]
I’ve never gone to a meeting or followed any AA stuff. No desire to.
And while I am fine without drinking 99 days out of 100, here’s the type of thing on the horizon I can imagine really bugging me. My HS Sr. wants to spend a his junior year in college in Germany. Man, it would be sweet to go there to visit him, and tip a few drafts.
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, AA is not for everyone - good on you for being able to quit without it though!
As for Europe, I agree! I went to the Guiness Factory in Ireland not long after giving up the drink…I made it without too much anxiety, but I would have loved to have drank at least one…thats my problem though, one was never enough. 
[QUOTE=sandra_nz]
Congrats on your soberness to date.
You are facing the prospect of a 2008 with finding new and exciting activities to derive pleasure from. You have the opportunity to work on your social awkwardness which will lead to meaningful relationships. And you will find that socializing is not difficult without alcohol, but it is difficult without confidence and practice. So rather than masking your lack of confidence/practice with alcohol, you’ll truly be able to increase your confidence and get some practice.
It’s only once you’ve truly made a change in your lifestyle, more than just stopped drinking, that you will understand the rewards of sobriety. Sobriety in itself is not a reward. Being able to do things you thought yourself unable to do, is.
Set yourself some tangible goals unrelated to drinking. For example, pick a hobby. Go to the library and read up on it (gets you out of the house and around people rather than looking on the internet). Find a class related to the hobby and go to it at least once. It doesn’t matter whether or not this is the ultimate hobby for you, you may find you don’t enjoy it as much as you expected. Or you may enjoy it more. The key is to shake up your lifestyle a bit, introduce some new colour, help you feel like you’re making changes.
Look at increasing your exercise. It’s good for your body and soul. How fit would you need to be to do the Road of the Gull? Start off with smaller walks, increasing your fitness.
Make a plan to visit all the heritage sites in a year. Take a beautiful photo of each castle, cross, church. Post a link here so we can admire your photography.
Make a commitment to see three plays at the Gaiety Theatre this year. Doesn’t matter what they are - just see what’s on at the time!
[/QUOTE]
Road of the Gull* = A walk round the very outside of the whole Island!! (That’s ninety miles)
I once walked from laxey coast to snaefel. I ran out of light by the end of that (and walked back down the tramline). I’ll be doing that one at least a couple more times when the temperature and light improves.
I’m not a theatre-goer but I do like going to the cinema.
*edit: So THAT’S what ‘Raad ny Foillan’ means! I see that on signs everywhere. And it’s marked with a gull on the sign so it shouldn’t be too hard to get lost. (not that one can lose your way if you keep the sea to your left or right)
What’s the best time of year to come to the Isle of Man? I’m not really into motorbikes, so it wouldn’t be then!
It’s one of those places that has been on my must-see list since we arrived in the UK. 
[QUOTE=Lobsang]
The ONLY thing I really enjoyed was sitting at my computer listening to music and getting sloshed.
[/QUOTE]
Oh yeah…dark & smoky bar, good beer, wicked blues man under the only light in the house. I do believe euphoria is indeed the right word. Music touches the passionate, alcohol lets the music have its way with us, massages the emotions deep in the barrows in which we’ve interred them, lets us recognize them and thereby remember the humanity we keep secret from others who would betray and abuse it. The music is the drug, alcohol the pipe.
Reality is a cold and lonely rocky place when we don’t allow ourselves the comfort that drives us further into our isolating womb, deep away from the treacherous hands of The Others who feed on us, who would have us share that part of us we hide so desperately.
For now though, recognize isolation as “bad”–we’ll understand why later. Stand strong, keep The Others at bay while you build yourself of stone and learn who you are and what your purpose is, why you were so worth protecting. Pray how you will that you will learn your place and purpose.
–Inigo
Sober since, um…jeez, September/October-ish? Maybe?
[QUOTE=sandra_nz]
What’s the best time of year to come to the Isle of Man? I’m not really into motorbikes, so it wouldn’t be then!
It’s one of those places that has been on my must-see list since we arrived in the UK.
[/QUOTE]
The TT is the last week in May/First week in June. And the MGP (Manx Grand Prix) is August.
So I guess Early May, Late June, or July are ideal.
The MGP doesn’t really hold the Island to ransom as much as the TT does.
p.s. I really appreciate your advice. I didn’t say that in my other reply.
Well, to what extent can you see eye to eye with B. in the exchange below?
A" “You know, if you don’t quit drinking you’ll be dead soon”
B: “I don’t care. Booze has been my only friend in this shitty world, and I’m not gving that one friend up.”
A: “Did you ever consider that maybe this world wouldn’t be so shitty if you tried living it sober?”
B: “That’s Bullshit.”
If B can’t make that leap of faith, even as a one-day-at-a-time proposition, he’s still got a contractual obligation to drink himself to death. All these other great things: getting in shape, being in a healthy relationshipwith a great girlfriend/boyfriend, etc. aren’t there to be cherished, but rather for B. to be disappointed in so he can start drinking again. (Do you suspect B. will do whatever he has to to engineer these disappointments? No shit, Nostradamus.)
This isn’t true for everyone, and some folks just need to ease off a bit. But for some people that shit is poison.
Slithy Tove I don’t really see eye to eye with B. A year or two ago I might have done.
I understand A’s second argument. I understand the way my mind could engineer excuses to drink.
BTW, if the booze-bone is connected to the keyboard-bone (that’s an obscure reference to an old move, Cold Turkey) there are websites for people who needn’t give up the computer, but may find it too easy to drink while posting. MySobrietySpace.com is just one.
[QUOTE=Lobsang]
Slithy Tove I understand A’s second argument. I understand the way my mind could engineer excuses to drink.
[/QUOTE]
Unfortunately, this will never leave you. “They” say alcoholism is both cunning and baffling, and will wait for you when you are at your lowest to make that drink look it’s best. Alcoholism’s greatest trick is convincing the alcoholic it doesn’t exist.
[QUOTE=Lobsang]
“But I never missed all the shit that happened as a result of my drinking.”
On the plus side I do wake up and remember what it felt like to wake up after four pints of beer and a half-bottle of whisky… And how I used to wish I didn’t put myself through this.
My reasons were many - The cost, what it was doing to my body, my mind, my mum.
edit: And the fact that my life was held-hostage by it. I couldn’t plan things like holidays or days out or things that would require functionability for the first half of a day.
[/QUOTE]
Or the shakes. Don’t forget the shakes. Those were my personal favorites and those alone made me stop drinking.