Sod it. I’m posting.
I feel like sharing why I’m a little depressed at the beginning of the New Year.
I have given up alcohol and it’s been 3 months and 20 days (Last drink - 11/9/2007 or 9/11/2007 for Americans watching). After the first month it was easy. But over christmas, and especially the last few days it’s been difficult. I’ve found myself envying those having a drink, and feeling tempted to give up giving up.
The ONLY thing I really enjoyed was sitting at my computer listening to music and getting sloshed. I am facing the prospect of a 2008 without ever doing the one thing I truly derive pleasure from. I’m single and socially inept so I can’t derive it from relationships. (And socializing is difficult without alcohol)
Before, I’ve told myself to feel good that I have done the right thing and am doing the right thing by not drinking, but it’s a weak motivation.
Hey, maybe I could make sobriety a thing to write about… or would that defeat the policy of distracting my mind from the subject.
Good luck with it. I am sure you had your reasons to quit and they must have been good ones for you. Really, what does alcohol do that is really good? Especially when it is used in front of the computer and you are not socializing in person. (Of course, as I type this, I have a beer beside my right hand.)
If looking at 2008 alcohol free is too difficult for you, look at today as alcohol free and allow yourself permission to reconsider tomorrow. I had to do that to quit smoking. After about six months, I began to forget that I had a decision to make. Maybe that will work for you.
“But I never missed all the shit that happened as a result of my drinking.”
On the plus side I do wake up and remember what it felt like to wake up after four pints of beer and a half-bottle of whisky… And how I used to wish I didn’t put myself through this.
My reasons were many - The cost, what it was doing to my body, my mind, my mum.
edit: And the fact that my life was held-hostage by it. I couldn’t plan things like holidays or days out or things that would require functionability for the first half of a day.
Good job. Good job for posting rather than giving up. One cool thing is that if you stay with it, you will be able to find other things that give you pleasure. Without holding you hostage. And you might even wonder why that ever gave you so much pleasure.
AA is chuck full of socially inept people. It’s only one of the things that makes it so special to so many. Do you go to meetings? One of the best things to do is talk about it with other people who are in YOUR EXACT SAME SHOES - who better to understand you than another person with a problem with alcohol? AA is a room full of drunks who have all been where you are…
I understand because I got sober in November several years back now, right before Thanksgiving. I went through all the holidays white knuckling it and eventually I made it.
I have lived through every bad thing in my life that has never happened. Do you know what I mean by that?
Basically, I try to never live in tomorrow and keep my mind on today. I don’t have to worry about not drinking at my birthday, or a wedding, or last night [new years] I only worry about today. And today I don’t have to drink.
You are still in a period of mourning, it’s normal and yes IT TOO SHALL PASS.
Talk all you want, feel free to email me if you’d like.
I think the holidays are notorious for pushing people off the wagon. You need to focus on finding something else in your life that will give you pleasure. If you don’t have something, you need to go out and find it. I don’t know of a single person who has found fulfillment in their life by waiting for it to drop in their lap. Get up and actively look for it. There’s something out there for you.
I also have been abstaining. (Due to medications, not due to alcoholism.) It was hard not drinking New Years…parties just aren’t the same. Oh well. Good on you, Lobsang!
Hey, we are almost anniversary buddies Lobsang … I had my last drink on October 29th, 2007 ! Look at it this way, you’ll always be a step ahead of me.
I also have done exceptionally well through the holidays (even left several beers in my bedroom mini-fridge, they’re still there). Yesterday, however, I went around in a blue funk and got teary-eyed at the least little thing. I think Phlosphr (dang that’s hard to type even SOBER :eek: ) is right; it’s kind of a mourning thing. I went ahead and shed a few tears … felt like the right thing to do.
I did NOT miss feeling horrid this morning!
So, here’s to a sober day! Today, and tomorrow, and tomorrow …
I know I need to find a source of pleasure to replace it but at the moment that doesn’t seem possible. The state of mind I was able to achieve with the combination of alcohol, music, internet, and then sleep was something approaching euphoria. It wasn’t ‘fun’ pleasure it was mind-altering pleasure.
I could probably get it from creating things… and possibly getting apreciation from others of those things (I’m a shameless attention-seeker and aimer to please) but I am beset by lethargy and procrastination.
I’m not making excuses. Just (what’s that phrase people use?) ‘blowing wind’?
When the weather improves it will get easier. I hope to get into fitness habits that I can carry through next winter.
Edit: Just saw the reply from (…who? NinetyWt Can’t see previous posts in edit mode!). Philosphr is easy. Just miss the second ‘o’ and ‘e’ out of ‘Philosopher’. I agree it feels like mourning. It’s like alcohol was a person I was in love with.
Edit Number four> Does Oct 29th have any significance other than your give-up date? It helped that mine was Sept 11th because that date is easy to remember… and I can quickly work out how long sober I’ve been.
Timely, I opened this thread up, read the OP, and my phone rang.
My alcoholic sister, trying her best to cover up the fact she’d been drinking (over enunciating is the real clue). She’s been on and off the wagon several times over the past few years, and last I talked to the family (I don’t talk to her often - my cell has a special ring that lets me know not to pick up unless I’m in the mood for her shit) had been going to AA - guess NYE was too much for her. Didn’t confront her, since I know she will tell me lies, and I’d rather not be lied to or put her in a position where she needs to come right out and lie.
I’m glad you are posting here instead of drinking. I have as much sympathy as I can for “this must really suck” but you seem to be a much healthier person from your posts.
I became very ill in the wee hours of Tuesday (the 30th) and ended up having my appendix out on the 31st. Being in the hospital kind of “re-set” a lot of things physically for me - sleep, eating etc. As I was lying in the hospital bed I realized that this was the perfect time to make a paradigm shift in the way I had been living. When I came home, I kept up getting up early in the morning and trying to eat properly (no more liquid supper!). As each day passed, the momentum grew and I enjoyed a feeling of greater control of my life. Not only that, I lost about 20 pounds!
I have looked back a time or two, but the monster isn’t gaining on me anymore - it seems to have dissapeared.
Lobsang you are looking for something to replace the intoxication of drinking. Nothing will get you drunk again like you remember other than booze. You are being as truthful with yourself now by not drinking than you have been in a while I’d guess. Keep doing what you are doing and you will discover a new peace.
Perhaps you could take up a new hobby or some activity that puts you in the company of some new people. Maybe there’s some group that needs your help or expertise.
IOW, it sounds as if a decent dose of human contact might be a Good Thing, and could help you stay on a path that obviously is leading in a better direction.
It’s all worth the angst. My problem wasn’t alcohol, but smoking. I quit on 12/7/06 (7/12/06 in your world) after decades of smoking, escalating the number of cigarettes per day, then the number of packs per day. I had fucking cancer and continued to smoke. I tried to quit hundreds (yes, hundreds) of times before but made it this time thanks to Wellbutrin. I’d tried cold turkey, the patch, a Seven Day Adventist Stop Smoking program (aaargh!), lozenges, cigarette lookalike ‘pacifiers,’ hypnotism, etc. Wellbutrin worked for me; it may not for others.
I discontinued caffeine and alcohol temporarily to disassociate myself from my smoking ‘triggers.’ Now I drink decaf coffee, regular tea and alcohol occasionally.
I still have the urge to smoke but it lessens as time goes on. I cannot begin to tell you how much better I feel: the morning cough went away within a week or so, wheezing stopped in a few weeks. I no longer have cigarette hangovers (yes, there are such things!) No cancer recurrence, which is aside from smoking, but something that adds to my general well being. I still have a huge possibility of developing lung cancer, but so far, so good. I can’t waste time worrying about that. I do have lung damage but an inhaler manages it.
Stick with it. The testimonials from several of the posters are genuine and everyone wishes you well. You’re one of my favorite posters and I hope you give us all periodic updates.
I did when I first quit (I will have 4 years here in a couple months). After a while I found other things to take alcohols place. Now I don’t miss it at all. Not the hangovers, puking, lying, full on self-hate for doing dumb shit when drunk or any of the other lovely parting gifts that I received after each drunk.
The amazing thing is that the longer I stay sober the better things get. Seems simple and straight forward but until it happens to you it is hard to believe and the only way for it to happen is to stay sober.
Almost four years ago I was a jobless almost homeless drunk.
Now I have a great job, just bought a house (Close on Friday WOO FUCKING HOOO!), live with a wonderful woman and her daughter and actually love life.
It is hard at first, man. I know, been there, done that. But it will get better and it will get easier if you work at it.
I second Phlosphr’s idea of A.A. You’ll meet people who can help you stay sober and can get you out doing things, which I believe is an essential part of staying sober.
Many congratulations, Lobsang. I don’t have much to add to the excellent advice regarding alcohol that you’ve gotten in this thread from people who have been there. I am wondering, though, if you might be suffering from depression as well.
Lethargy and procrastination are a couple of depression’s hallmarks, and other aspects of the lifestyle you describe are common with it as well. Many medications exist that can have a very positive effect on these maladies and I would encourage you to not only continue to seek alternatives to alcohol in order to bring enjoyment into your life, but to perhaps visit with a doctor also to see if anti-depressants might be helpful too.
It’s hard to understand when you’re in the grip of things like lethargy and procrastination how much more full and enjoyable life can be - and how many more interests you can develop - once you are free of them, and the right anti-depressant medication can go a long way toward freeing you from them.
I think it will be 4 years this April, and I still miss drinking all the time. Sometimes I miss that I can’t just have a nice fine microbrew with friends or famil. Other times, I wish I could just pour myself a nice tumblerfull of gin and get shitfaced.
Sure, its no big thing to say no, but I’d be a liar if I didn’t say I missed it. The way I see it, tho, the fact that I miss it so much - and that I wish to not just drink but get drunk - is a clear sign that I’m not ready to drink in moderation (if I ever will be.)
In my mind, the best thing about being a sober drunk is you get to think you are really accomplishing something simply by not being a fuck-up!
Interestingly those who come into AA and begin to feel great after 3 months or so think that they have this not drinking thing licked and come to find out they do not. I question the honesty of those who say, " I’ll never drink again, I never get cravings, I don’t want it anymore, I’ll never drink again! " That’s BS.
I’d love to have a beer with a pizza, or a nice flat beer at a ball game…I know I can’t and I don’t obsess about it anymore.
This is why I like meetings…because I can sit in a room with a bunch of drunks and they know exactly how I feel. To an outsider that must sound terrible sitting in a room with a bunch of drunks, but to someone with a problem with alcohol, it’s unimaginably comforting to know you are not the only one who wants to get shitfaced at seemingly innoccuous times.
I woudn’t give what I have up for anything. I hope Lobsang doesn’t either.
I’ve never gone to a meeting or followed any AA stuff. No desire to.
And while I am fine without drinking 99 days out of 100, here’s the type of thing on the horizon I can imagine really bugging me. My HS Sr. wants to spend a his junior year in college in Germany. Man, it would be sweet to go there to visit him, and tip a few drafts.
