Until a few weeks ago, at this time of day I’d be quite drunk. Just about able to string a sentence together.
Then I quit.
Now I have no escape. I miss being drunk. Getting drunk was, for me, like switching the brain to “off” for a while. I would look forward to getting home from work, sitting in front of the computer or TV and getting gradually pissed.
But now it feels like the switch is permanently in the “On” position, and I am starting to get really tired and fed up with being ‘on’ all the time. If that makes any sense.
I don’t feel like this every night. Just tonight. It will pass. Don’t feel bad for me.
Things will get better soon, in both a short-term and long-term sense. You will get used to living sober.
Congratulations on quitting, BTW! You are a very strong person.
If things don’t get better in a few weeks or whatnot, maybe you should look into something less addictive that’s [somewhat] similar to alcohol and has a general depressant effect (I’m thinking of a particular green and leafy one, although we need not recommend/condone illegal activities here). There are some legal analogues of the particular green leaf (which is decriminalized over there, now that I think about it–whatever), but I’m not sure how close the effects are, how addictive/dangerous they are, etc.
Anyway, good luck, and congratulations again on how far you’ve gone.
I am working on 3 months now and it can be a bitch. I relapsed a little while ago and now I am starting all over again. I found that the first month and a half or so left me feeling really wacky and jumpy. I figured out that exercise really helped. I’d just go out and walk around the block until I couldn’t walk anymore.
Lobsang, I hear you. Turning my brain off was the reason I drank and used drugs until I was 38. Congrats on waking up a lot faster than that.
Go to a few AA meetings. Those folks really know what you are going through, and they can really help, if you listen up and let them. It’s a lot easier to do it with the help of friends and the program than by yourself. Give it a shot, man. Good luck and congratulations again.
Good luck, Lobsang. I did the same thing 26 years ago and today wouldn’t want to take a drink if you opened my mouth and tried to pour it in; I enjoy life too much without it.
I second essvee’s recommendation of trying a few AA meetings. It’s worked for millions of people and can be a great way to learn how to live life all over again.
Interesting. I fail to see what about alchohol is so addictive. I enjoy drinking, do it on a fairly regular basis, but I have no trouble stopping for an extended period of time. Hm. Maybe its just me.
At any rate best wishes and good luck with your sobriety.
-Me, wondering why people would want to be sober anyway.
DLC, there’s a lot of debate about how people get addicted to alcohol. One theory, basically genetic, is that some people are predisposed towards alcoholism - possibly, they lack the enzyme which breaks it down normally and thus lack the “I’ve had enough” mechanism. Other theories examine social pressures, although from my limited reading, these seem to be falling out of favour somewhat. Also, EVERYBODY who drinks or drank too much failed to see what was so addictive about it. Some people are hooked from their first drink, some people drink normally for years, then develop a problem. Or, this being the pit, a fuckin’ problem.
Point is, it’s difficult to restructure your life and thinking when so much of your time and thought has centred around booze (or anything else addictive, I suppose.) It’s difficult Lobsang, but not THAT difficult. Keep it up.
Sorry I was thinking out… uh… “loud” more then questioning the mechanics of alchoholism and its addictive nature. Speaking personally, most of the time I have no real urge to drink. I enjoy it when I do, but its not like I ever think to myself “damn I wish I was wasted right now” unless its during a really really crappy movie or something.
This may be deleted, since it’s a post that really doesn’t apply to readers. I’ll make this short, I have to go make another Bacardi/Coke. I suspect (as my doctor) 3 years years ago did. that I have ADD or ADHD. I also am “on” when sober. Tried AA 3 times (cite tbis all who hate me.) Valium kept me working, kept me slowed down enough to run a “normal” life. I guess you could say I was “stoned”, but I could fucntion and do my job.
Point is, I had ADD (ADHD?) for years, I just need soemthing to keep me from being wired.
I forgot where this was going, but damnit I win the argument! OK, maybe not, flame away.
Lobsang, that first month or two is a real rollercoaster. Just strap yourself in and let yourself ride it, because there’s not much you can do to accelerate the process.
After a while, I hope you’ll find sobriety as fulfilling as I do every day, 14 months later.
Gum, I was just trying to say Valium helps the Hell that is living without booze, most docs don’t realize that ADD/ADHD is a valid medical case, (I hate whiny shit like ADD and Ritilan, but maybe it would do me some good)m Given some valium A(yes, I tried it for a RL trial) It would be good.
