In this thread, Lobsang opened a discussion of the pros and cons of sobriety. Many dopers joined in with their own stories of sobriety-- recent and longtime, and others offered advice and wishes for good luck.
Those who had recently quit back then, how you doin’ ?
Anyone new to sobriety, want to talk about it?
Have you discovered any different pros and cons of sobriety that you hadn’t thought of before? Have you gotten any new good advice? Surpises? What has been good, and what’s been hard?
It’ll be two months for me this week. I like it a lot. I’m feeling much better about myself. I have more confidence. I’m able to deal with stuff instead of just escaping. I’m finding that maybe I have some problems to deal with that are not entirely alcohol-related? (noooo, what are the chances?)
I’ve been getting a lot of exercise and I’ve lost some weight. People comment on my improved appearance .
Good new advice from my neighbor Maria: “Doesn’t it feel so much better to look great than to be drunk?”
I have 8 months and (counts fingers) 4 days. I think. I really don’t remember that last drunk. I am missing like 3/4 days.
Pros:
I don’t wake up feeling dead.
Better Job. I actually show up and take care of business.
Memory. I remember stuff now. My memory still isn’t great but it is a heck of a lot better. I have been told that this will come back as time passes. Probably not all the way back but it should improve.
Bills/responsibility/money: I have money in the bank, pay bills on time. Before I spent all my money on booze.
Doing things, kinda money related. I am doing things that I want that I never used to do. I always wanted to do things, like writing/recording songs, water skiing, and the like but while drinking I had NO energy or motivation to do anything. The only time I was motivated was when I ran out of beer. Now I am doing things I like and, since I don’t spend all my money on beer, I actually have the money.
Family relationships: This is the BIG ONE for me. My family actually likes hanging out with me now and TRUSTS me. My parents go out of town alot on vacations. Before they would never ask me to look after the house because they never knew if I would drink all their booze and misuse their house. They, rightfully, did not trust me. Now things are way better. I am taking care of the house when they are out of town. If they need something they can ask and be sure that I will do it. This is a great feeling. It is also wonderful to know that I am no longer causing them a lot of stress. They were really worried about me for a long time but did not know what to do. Now things are cool with them. My brothers and sisters are also starting to want to be around me. My brother asked me to go to see a Supercross with him in AZ. He is talking about us meeting at the lake next year. This would have never happened if I was still drinking.
Friends: See family. Basically I am repairing all the relationships I screwed up.
Cons:
I am a little twitchy at times. I was really twitchy/nervous when I first stopped.
I can overreact. Since I buried all my emotions for so many years(Mad? have a drink. Sad? have a drink. Happy? Have two). I can get overly upset/depressed about minor things. Thas is getting better now.
Slee
not sober because i was never a drunk, but i would like to offer you both applause for going out and getting and staying sober. I have had my share of addicted friends, and had to sever relationships with most of them becuse of their irresponsibility.
May you find all the friends you desire! May you enjoy the rest of your lives!
Over 14 years now. ODAAT. Spoke to 3 close friends today, all recovering, just as a matter of course. Staying plugged in with others keeps me on the right track. Tomorrow’s a meeting day!
My worst days these days are better than my best days from the bad old days.
I have 4 months now. It feels really good to start to rebuild my life especially with my family. Things are going pretty well overall. I really wish that everyone to could understand about addiction and know what we all have gone through rather than spouting off their own, sometimes misguided, sometimes condescending thoughts. In general however, most people have been very supportive.
I have this problem too. Reality feels kind of different these days. It seems bigger. I can’t just ignore everything (feelings, family, friends…) but then why would I want to? Sometimes even the good stuff is a little uncomfortable.
QtM, something you wrote about insomnia rarely being fatal was very helpful. Thank you for that.
aruvqan, thanks for your applause, sweetie.
Shagnasty, good on you. Most people are supportive, but there are some who don’t really understand. My husband for example. He believes addiction is a misnomer, that the reason people abuse alcohol or drugs is weakness or laziness, that I should be able to have one drink and stop if only I had the proper self-discipline. Luckily my bullshit filter is fairly well-tuned.
I have over 11 years, and like QtM, it’s been ODAAT. Yeah, I miss going out to drink, particularly since I went back to school. OTOH, it’s nice to be able to make it to class on time, be able to concentrate, and keep my promises.
The twitchiness leaves eventually. As do the insomnia and bad dreams. I can guarantee that.
One Day At A Time
i.e., how to handle dealing with your addiction, or living with some addicted
well-known and used phrase, common to members of AA and Al-Anon
{after preview] drat! KNEW all the extract coding would probably mean someone beat me to it.
Sober over two years now. My life has completely turned around. There’s money in the bank, I’m feeling fantastic, and I’m getting married on Saturday. The house is always clean, there’s food in the fridge, and we’ve replaced all of the old broken electronics with new stuff. I don’t vomit several times a day, I don’t shake so badly I can barely hold a fork or write legiby, and I sleep well. I don’t want to die every morning, I don’t have blackouts every evening, and I look forward to every next day. I actually follow through with the plans I make, instead of just dreaming them.
Every time I find myself pining for the old days when I could drink without much consequence, I just have to remember what those hellish mornings were like, and tell myself that you can’t turn a pickle back into a cucumber.
I was your garden variety Closet Drunk. As a matter of fact this is my first time speaking quasi-publicly about it. NO ONE KNEW I HAD A PROBLEM, NOT EVEN ME. It wasn’t easy when I decided to not take the edge off after teaching all day…But my love for my wife and the thought of prospective children in our near future convinced me otherwise.
Advice: Never do it alone. And always take it ODAAT…One minute at a time if need be.
Learning to fall asleep again (as opposed to passing out) was the toughest for me. Now I’m asleep in minutes. I’ll echo QtM’s statement about best and worst days. There’s just no comparison.
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November 13th was my 10th birthday! Yay for me! Meant to start a thread, but I forgot all about it…
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You guys are stronger than me. I still drink, but a lot less than I used to. I got into a routine which involves a set amount. Lately I’m drinking even less than that (being able to recognise that I’ve had enough, which is something I could never do before). I fully understand that If I drink like I used to I risk my job. My job is going well. I recently had a pay rise in recognition of my work.
Drinking doesn’t cause any significant problems for me. Only the mild feeling of shame and the thought of what it might be doing to my body. Other than that it doesn’t affect my life much. I get paid well, I have no debts (apart from student loans, which are being paid off steadily and consistently) I have a personal pension, and will soon have a cash ISA, so money is not a worry.
I guess my life is not giving me enough strong reasons to quit drinking. When I don’t drink (which I haven’t for a few days - I don’t drink before a visit to England*) the cons of this are that I have nothing to look forward to of an evening. Pros are that I have more time to do stuff (albeit in a state of tiredness)
[sub]*Whenever I plan a visit across I stop drinking so as to a) have time to prepare and b) am ready for being at a place where I can’t drink, except for 2 or 3 beers with my dad before bed.[/sub]
I read this thread and almost felt like I was eavesdropping.
I am sober and have never had a problem with alcohol so I do not know first hand how difficult it is to choose sobriety. But I do believe alcohol addiction to be one of the most life altering and hardest addictions to overcome.
Social drinking in our society is so widely accepted, even more so than cigarettes. I don’t have a problem with that; I just realize how hard it must make it for someone who is practicing sobriety.
Whenever I see smartini it makes me think of dentini ™ “Gin Gin Gin, baby step of vermouth, GIN GIN GIN, and 2 pink sticks of the gum that 4 out of 5 dentists don’t actually say WON’T cure cancer and make your penis larger.” from the blog I am Eating My Husband’s Soul .
As far as sobriety goes, I admit that I made it until election night, when I broke down. And then again last thursday. I am not drinking every single night, but I am having a couple on weekend nights. Nowhere close to what I was doing before, but still I feel weak. I think I will try again soon.
I am scared to join AA, and I don’t know why. Many people here seem to have really good luck with AA, what could I expect if I joined?
Never done it (don’t drink), but just wanted to pop in and say good for you and good luck to everyone posting in here. AND congratulations to scott on his fast-approaching wedding!
Coming up on 2.5 years now, I relapsed with 9.5 years and it was Hell to get back in the saddle comfortably. I had too many Years and not enough Days, Today my Recovery is so much more than just a twelve step program, although that is the basic foundation. Staying Grateful!!
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