I Must Be Stupid or How I Really Hurt Myself

Hello Dopers, last night I really hurt myself and as such am not to active tonight. So, since I’m here in front of my computer anyway, I though I’d share.
Last night I decided to get all of the books that had fallen begind my headboard. I have one of those big headboards that has cupboards in it. So I usually keep CD’s, books and the like in it or on it. However, I apparently had the books on top stacked poorly because several toppled and got stuck behind the headboard.
Last night I decided to get those books out, as I wanted to read several. My bed is in a corner with the head of the bed towards the wall so this was not an easy task. I managed to use a rolled up poster to push the books to the side but there was one book that would not budge. So, I started hitting at it with the poster, but reaching over the head of the bed instead. I managed to slide it a little to the side of the bed. I thought “SUCCESS” and, lying on the bed, reached under the bed.
It was just a little out of my reach, so I reached farther until I had the tip of my finger on it. This is the point where everything went wrong. My weight shifted forward and I all at once started sliding forward off the side of the bed. However, my one hand was under the bed and my other hand was frantically trying to hold on. Thus, my head hit the floor at full force but because of the momentum I just kept on going. My body went completely perpendicular to the floor and compressed my neck. I was still trying to stop myself so was pushing with my arms. This acted to make me do some sort of a hand spring…right into my chest of drawers. I then collapsed on the floor and layed there for a very long time after that.
So that’s why I’m not moving around too much today. But, on the up-side, I did get the book.

Oww. But great visuals in the story there :slight_smile:

Catrandom

Don’t do that no more.

Rob,
I checked the weather report for last night and it called for localized gravity storms in your area. :smiley:
The last time I got hit with a gravity storm hit I wound up with a broken heel and did not walk for 3 months.

Bedrooms must be the spot where the second highest number of accidents happen…

Last evening the beautiful, gracious, intelligent, but totally uncoordinated Lola turned over in bed to tell me something, as she did she smashed her elbow across the bridge of my nose. It still hurts, right between my eyes.

When I was 17 I got up early one morning to go out fishing. It was 4am and my room was pitch black save for a little glow from the streetlights. Rather than walk over and turn on the light I went over to my dresser and started picking out socks, underwear, etc. I dropped my socks to my left so bent over to pick them up. This is where things went askew… I had rearranged things in my room and had moved my floor speakers, when I bent over to pick up the socks I smashed my head into the corner of the just relocated speaker with considerable force.

When I came to it was light out and 6:30am, I stood up to look in the mirror and half my face was covered in blood due to a gash above my left eye. So what did I do after suffering a concussion? Drove myself to the hospital where my mom worked and as luck would have it she was coming off shift as I entered the emergency department. She freaked and the staff got me in to see a doctor immediately. (It pays to have connections). 6 stitches later I was on my way. The 24 hour observation was a killer, having someone wake you up every hour is no way to rest after working so hard to injure yourself.

Yeah, and I’ve got two kids to prove it!

Too funny Dave!!

I’m extremely clumsy. I could listen a dozen falls, accidents that are pretty funny, but i’ll just tell you the most recent.

You know those thing that you stick in the ends of corn on the cob so you can hold on to them why you eat?
They have very sharp points. Well, i was eating and somehow one flew out of the cob and I stabbed myself in the cheek. This was quite shocking and painful to me while my SO found it rather amusing. I now have to red dots on my check that look like i was bitten by a mouse or something.

Hope you feel better Silent Rob.

luna

yes, but in your case did the cat survive?

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28606

lurker, oh lurker,
Why must we continue to dredge up past pain? On the other hand, seeing how that seems to be the most popular thing I’ve posted here, maybe I should engage in potentially dangerous activities more often. There’s not much danger or interesting stories that can come from playing baseball or football on the Playstation.

Excuse me for a lttle bit, I suddenly have the urge to take a bath and make toast at the same time. I’ll need to find an extension cord . . . (This should be really funny)

snort. silent_rob, that was an extremely funny post. My brother, who doesn’t understand this whole message board thing anyway, now thinks I’m doubly weird for sitting over here laughing like a maniac.

On a serious note, however, it sounds like you landed pretty hard on your head and neck. Not to sound like an over anxious mother or anything (which I am, but that is beside the point), neck injuries often don’t show up right away and are nothing to fool with. May I humbly suggest that you hie yourself to your doctor’s office or local ER sometime today to get an X-Ray? Just to be on the safe side.

Don’t do it slient rob! X-ray, shmex-ray! Lucretia obvoiusly doesn’t understand that as men, we have the innate ability to cure any ailment (aside from gunshot wounds, stabbings, or other violent attacks) by simply walking it off or putting ice on it. Especially if you’ve ever played sports.

Me - “Coach, I think I broke my leg!”

Coach - “You’re fine, walk it off.”

Me - “But I can see the bone sticking out!”

Coach - “Just walk it off, we’ll put some ice on it after the game.”

Shortly after Mr. Rilch and I moved in together, I gave myself a black eye. I had just washed my hair, and came downstairs with a towel on my head to absorb the water. I unwound the towel, the towel caught an angle lamp, and the lamp swung around to bonk me in the eye. I made a point of telling people how this happened before they asked. If people had asked how I got the shiner, and then I told them this story, I would have gotten responses like, “Suuuuure…you just moved in with your ex-wrestler BF, and you just happen to hit yourself with a lamp. Right.” But it really did happen that way, officer…

This evening I injured myself getting into the tub/shower. Yesterday I took the no-slip thingy out of the tub so I could clean it properly, and forgot to put it back in. So I turn on the shower and put one foot inside the tub, and slip on the slick surface inside. I catch myself about a foot from hitting my crotch on the side, and ended up slamming my shin into the side instead. Thank God I don’t have testicles, or else I’d be afraid of the possible results of this accident. I will be expecting another bruise within the next few days; I already have one on my ass, and another on my upper thigh. Where the hell do they come from anyway?

I am the clutz of the house. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stubbed my toes, banged my knees, and ran into walls in my house. I’m cursed I tell you! Just today, much to my dismay I found a HUGE bruise on my knee (from slamming my friend’s car door on it; my other friends all cringed when they heard the sound of the two coming together, and I just smiled and said, “I’ll be okay!”), and three other huge bruises from who knows where. Probably from climbing into that stupid tiny window of that abandoned high school the other night…oh well. It’s normal for me to be bruised all over.

Has anyone ever managed to trip on their own foot and go flying? Please tell me I’m not the only one…

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I have terrible balance. I can be walking in a hall and gradually veer towards the people I’m walking with to the point of crashing into them. Or sometimes I veer into walls. What’s up with this?

Thanks for the stories, guys! So funny! I guess it wouldn’t have been funny for anyone at the time of this stuff happening though…

Thanks for the kind words, all. I don’t think I’ll be going to the doctor. I feel much better today, really, I’m not just saying that because I hate going to the doctor. I’m sorry to hear that so many of you have injured yourselves so badly. The only pace I really seem to have trouble with is my feet. They’re very big and I always seem to stub toes or stub my whole foot.
Anyway, what really sucked was that I had to do a play tonight. I was playing a lawyer and my neck was still really stiff. So when I turned around to tell people they were the next witness, I did it very slowly or my neck CRACKED.
Though this is not the worst injury I’ve had for the play (which I do every summer). Last summer, my friend got me to sign up at the gym (he had gotten into power-lifting). I went over to do squats on the sqat-machine. I’m not sure if you’ve ever seen one, but basically you put lots of weight on your shoulders and then go from a standing position, to a sitting position and back to a standing.
Well, as my friend puts it, I am built for squating. I’ve got really big, powerful legs, so he wanted to see how much weight I could do. I got up to around 500 lbs. and was still going strong. But I didn’t want to over-exert myself, so I stopped. What he hadn’t told me was the affects of doing heavy squats. It felt like I was walking on air afterwards.
That was in the morning. By night-time, and the play, I was really, really stiff. I sit in a chair between witnesses (I was again playing the lawyer). So actually standing up was damn near impossible. Then I had to walk a set of stairs to get to where I interviewed the witnesses. But that was the easy part. It was going down the stairs, and sitting down. I would sort of lean until my knee finally bent and then my other foot would hit the next step, HARD. BEEEEEEENNNND, THUMP, BEEEEENNNNND, THUMP. All down the stairs. I did this for all of my 10 witnesses. Then sitting down was something like; BEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDD, BANG! Since I couldn’t really lean I just had to bend my knees until they both caught and I sat down. Very crappy. Oh well.