I need a camel

[Kzbre5m]

You could try Southwick Zoo, just down the road from you. (Sorta. :o ) They have both Bactrian and Dromedary, though I’m guessing they don’t travel.

Hmm… the giraffe area is closing early tomorrow for a wedding party.

[Kzbre5m]

Might be easier to dress up a large dog, or here.

Or here, just google “dog camel costume”.

(Missed the edit window)

[DrFidelius]

@Llama_Llogophile

Oh god, no! We ride the camel to the brothel!

But then why are you running?

Well, you don’t want to be stuck with an ugly one…

[Llama_Llogophile]

@Lumpy

In a pinch you could put a fake hump on a llama and say it’s a baby camel.

What hump?

[Spiderman]

@Llama_Llogophile

What hump?

No, it’s pronounced “eye-gor.”

[FlyingRat]

Since you’re going as Lawrence, name your camel Jedhah (or Jedha, since consistent spelling was something he was adamantly against).

[FlyingRat]

@Gatopescado

Might be easier to find a Brough Superior. More fun and less mess, too!

I see what you did there.

[cochrane]

@Jophiel

[I think I originally heard this joke here so credit to whoever’s joke I’m stealing]

An old retired guy in Miami decides that he wants a camel. He orders one, it arrives and he’s delighted. He gets on its back and spends the day tromping through the neighborhood waving to everyone and basically acting like this is the greatest thing in the world.

Next morning, he goes outside and the camel’s gone. He calls the police and the officer starts taking notes. “Can you tell me how tall the camel was?”
“No, I only had it for one day. I never measured it.”
“Can you tell me how much it weighed?”
“No, I only had it the one day. I never weighed it.”
Exasperated, the cop asks “Can you at least say if it was a boy or girl?”
“YES!” the man cries, “It was a BOY!”
The cop says “You sound really confident of this.”
The man says “All day when I was riding it, everyone kept saying ‘Hey, get a load of the schmuck on that camel!’”

Two not-so-bright guys wanted to buy a car, so they went to this seedy car lot. They couldn’t find anything in their price range, so they asked the owner what he had for $100. He said, “Unfortunately, I don’t have any cars I can let go of that cheap, but if you’re not picky, I have a camel I’ll let you have for $100.”

They talk it over between themselves and agree to the deal. The salesman says, “This is a trained camel. He stops for red lights and he’ll go again when the light is green. All you have to do is sit on top and ride.”

Two hours later the guys return and demand their money back. “What happened?” asked the owner. “He ran away,” the two gents replied. “How did that happen?” asked the lot owner. “He was trained to stop for red lights.”

“Yeah, we know. We were riding along and the camel stopped for a red light. Then some guy on the sidewalk yelled, ‘Hey! Look at the two perfect assholes on that camel.’ So we got off to look and the light turned green.”

[Siam_Sam]

Q: Why are camels called ships of the desert?

A: Because they are filled with Arab semen.

[araminty]

OP, you don’t NEED a camel. You want a camel to be a prop. Kinda exploitative, no?

Animals aren’t toys.

[Eva_Luna]

@Jophiel

[I think I originally heard this joke here so credit to whoever’s joke I’m stealing]

An old retired guy in Miami decides that he wants a camel. He orders one, it arrives and he’s delighted. He gets on its back and spends the day tromping through the neighborhood waving to everyone and basically acting like this is the greatest thing in the world.

Next morning, he goes outside and the camel’s gone. He calls the police and the officer starts taking notes. “Can you tell me how tall the camel was?”
“No, I only had it for one day. I never measured it.”
“Can you tell me how much it weighed?”
“No, I only had it the one day. I never weighed it.”
Exasperated, the cop asks “Can you at least say if it was a boy or girl?”
“YES!” the man cries, “It was a BOY!”
The cop says “You sound really confident of this.”
The man says “All day when I was riding it, everyone kept saying ‘Hey, get a load of the schmuck on that camel!’”

I don’t know where it was first published, but it does appear in my well-worn copy of The Joys of Yiddish.

[Digital_is_the_new_Analog]

Reminds me of a costume party I went to once…a group of people went as characters from The Wizard of Oz. They entered the party by having munchkins dance in, singing.
(They had relatives who were midgets, and brought them along.)

But a live camel raises it to a whole new level. And makes me think harder for my next costume…

[Gatopescado]

@FlyingRat

I see what you did there.

[Isosleepy]

@araminty

OP, you don’t NEED a camel. You want a camel to be a prop. Kinda exploitative, no?

Animals aren’t toys.

Well, if I ever actually go back to the desert, I’d like you to come with. If I were to get thirsty, I could pretend to have a parade, and then you could rain on it.

[engineer_comp_geek]

@Isosleepy

Preferably of a pleasant disposition.

I thought you said you wanted a camel?

From what I’ve read, real camels are somewhat difficult to control and like to spit. They aren’t the pleasant, docile beasts they are portrayed as in the movies.

[araminty]

@Isosleepy

Well, if I ever actually go back to the desert, I’d like you to come with. If I were to get thirsty, I could pretend to have a parade, and then you could rain on it.

I work in environmental education. I’ve worked in zoos. Animals aren’t here for your amusement.

Get a toy camel for your costume. Get a camel costume.

[Lumpy]

@engineer_comp_geek

From what I’ve read, real camels are somewhat difficult to control and like to spit. They aren’t the pleasant, docile beasts they are portrayed as in the movies.

I’ve heard them described as “stubborn as mules and not as smart”.

[AnaMen]

@araminty

I work in environmental education. I’ve worked in zoos. Animals aren’t here for your amusement.

Are they at the zoo by choice, do you suppose? What is their true mission there?

[Count_Blucher]

@AnaMen

Are they at the zoo by choice, do you suppose? What is their true mission there?

Spitting practice.

[Siam_Sam]

@engineer_comp_geek

I thought you said you wanted a camel?

From what I’ve read, real camels are somewhat difficult to control and like to spit. They aren’t the pleasant, docile beasts they are portrayed as in the movies.

They’re portrayed as pleasant in the movies?