I have two favorites, depending on the effect I want:
If you don’t care if they know it’s a fake name, use Garfield W. Falsename.
If you want them to do a doubletake, use Throckmorton Grunthummer Wingergonger.
My current favorite gag name: Hugh Janus.
Don’t forget:
Jack Kingoff
Jack Meoff
Mike Rotch
Ivana Humpalot
Ivana Tinkle
Stu Pidass (my personal favorite, I have that set as my “real name” on IRC.)
Johnny LA:
Hallelujah, holy shit, I thought I was the only one who did that! And my girlfriend thinks I’m weird when I do it.
Knowing that “I’m not the only one,” is one o’ the best things about this board.
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.
I would have suggested the name that anyone with an accent so bad that I can’t even understand their name gets.
Awatajer Khayyaam.
http://www.madpoet.com
I am human, and I need to be loved
Just like anybody else does
Seymour Klitz
How about Al Bertsons or Stater Bros or
Vonz Von Vons?
I didn’t see this asked, but I just skimmed… why are you changing names and not supermarkets?
A girl
How bout this one…Ova Shanker(it’s a real name to boot). Of course you might want to get technical and call it Ovum Chancre or something like that…
AcK!!
I don’t know if this counts, but my mother had a friend in College named Jo Osttendorf. Together with Jo’s boyfriend, the three of them paraded around campus declairing themselves: “Osttendorf, Glick and Schwarz, the team that killed Vaudville!” (Osttendorf was the only non-fictional name) My mother, never known as graceful, would then break into a “dance” and the three of them would freeze-pose.
To this day she recounts songs that can be credited to Osttendorf, Glick and Schwarz. She can remember songs she composed in college, but can’t remember what time I was born. Feh. I hpoe this all gives you further insight into why I am the way I am…
A little persistance goes a long way. Announcing:
“I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig!
Speaking of whacky college name hijinks…
This sounds like a UL, but my mother swears it’s true because she was in the wedding party. A friend of hers introduced himself to a woman using an fake name. They hit it off, and somehow he never got around to telling her his real name and somehow she never found out about it from another of his friends. He eventually proposed and she said yes. On their wedding day, the presiding clergy turned to her and asked do you take this man and gave his real name. She had no idea who he was talking about and the wedding had to stop for several minutes while he proved his real name and convinced her to marry him anyway.
Have to add my personal favorite:
Wilma Pudfit
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Delta-9 Home Page
Here’s a few more:
Ben Dover
Sakkar Cox
This thread really cracked me up.
My favorite trick to play is while making dinner reservations. My own last name is a baffling ordeal, so I just reserve a table under the name “Gray”.
The punchline is when they ask me how to spell it.
I know ralphredan has made his choice, but I have to chime in after the fact anyway.
Whenever I have to give a name (and I’d rather not) I look to the one, the only, Julius M. Try these:
Rufus T. Firefly
Otis P. Driftwood
Hugo Z. Hackenbush
J. Cheever Loophole
Wolf J. Flywheel
And if you want that military flavor, go for:
Captain Jeffrey Spalding
dwtno:
What have you got against Horse Feathers?
You’re right, Uke. I hereby ammend my list to include Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff.
dwtno-
Captain Jeffrey Spalding
I think that’s from a Marx Brothers’ movie song.
Starts “My name is Captain Spalding/The African Explorer/Dont’ call me schnorrer/…” and goes on mixing English snobbery with Yiddish.
Here I sit so patiently, waitin to find out what price
You have to pay to get out of going through all these things twice." DYLAN
Close.
“Hurray For Captain Spaulding” is from Animal Crackers and Groucho used the music as his personal theme song for many years (it’s the music heard during You Bet Your Life).
“Hurray for Captain Spaulding,
the African Explorer.
‘Did someone call me schnorer?’
Hurray, hurray, hurray!”
Oh my, I’m too late. Yes, it was a different Spalding:
Hooray For Captain Spaulding - Written by: Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby
Well, end of digression, back to the funny names.
Helpin’ my baby toddle along
-
-
- The best way to make goofy dinner reservations is to make the reservation for “Parcheesi, party of four” and then arrive carrying the game under your arm. I heard this onna radio a couple days back and I love it. - MC
-