Serendipity’s thread really touched a chord. I feel exactly the same way. I had one of the worst weekends in my life, which I topped off by ranting and raving at a poor boy who was patient with me. I want so badly to apologize but it’s too late.
So I’m here at work, staring at my monitor, making my token appearance until I can leave. I just want to go home and sleep. And sometimes when I go to sleep, I just don’t want to wake up.
This is absolute hell. And maybe I shouldn’t be posting this, either. But I feel so incredibly trapped in my own skin. Everything is grey. I’m walking around in a daze. My head is cloudy and I can’t function.
To you: I’m sorry. There’s a breaking point, and it happened last night. I didn’t want to hurt you or berate you in any way, but I think I did so nonetheless. Thank you for your patience, and your box of Kleenex®. Please understand how I felt about everything that happened, and please understand I feel even worse now. This is not how it was meant to be - or at least how I thought it would be.
Never underestimate the esteem in which I hold you, and my admiration for your accomplishments. Those things are unconditional and unchanging.
Our paths crossed once upon a time, but now they diverge. Maybe one day we can be friends again.
And yes, I, too, need a hug.