I would just like to say...

The BBQ Pit
1

To all the people in “real” life who have “helped” me through this hard time…

Fuck you.

That’s right, fuck you.

Not a single fucking one of you even bothered to listen to how I felt. Not a single fucking one of you bothered to listen to where I was coming from, just decided that the cookie cutter response was enough. All of you decided that this was a simple case of boy meets girl, boy fucks girl over, girl is hurt. It’s not. If we were apes, then maybe the mindless bashing would have been a good way to make me feel better, but it’s not. We are people, and we have personalities. When I asked for help, you said “don’t bother, he’s an ass” When I told my parents I was afraid for him, they gave me this bullshit answer “oh, he’s just trying to get attention” They don’t understand that that doesn’t make any fucking sense! Everyone I’ve talked to said that he’s nothing but an evil, evil person. Well, NONE OF YOU KNOW HIM!!! How can you judge him? And thank you, parents, for reminding my exactly why I don’t trust you with my personal life. Fuck you too. I wish that at least one of you, any one of you, would hear that I still care for him, and I am afraid for his life. I wish one of you would understand that telling me to forget about him does nothing. I will never forget him, it is ridiculous to expect me to. If you expect me to forget that I once loved him, you don’t know what love is. I guess the problem is that he always understood me deep inside, and you are just understanding the surface stuff. I guess I need one of you to understand what I’m going through, but you can’t. Even my parents can’t. Another thing I’m pissed about is none of you bothered to care about his side of the story! How can you start to understand what is hapening if you don’t listen to the whole thing? Every time I try to tell you what’s going on, you say something like “oh, he doesn’t matter” BULLSHIT, he doesn’t! He matters to ME and THAT should matter to YOU! Yes, you did help me somewhat, but the thing is, I’m still all alone where I need a friend…

Look, don’t get me wrong. This really is just a rant. I still love you all as my friends, in fact, I love you more, because you really are trying to help me. But the problem is I don’t think you really understand where I’m coming from. You don’t know what he was to me, what he meant to me, and what he means to me. You don’t know who he is. You never did. And there are a lot of things about me you don’t know, and will never know. There are somethings inside of me that only one person will ever know, and he is that person. There are a lot of things that he and I were going to share, that I will never share with anyone else. Some day you will understand, and I hope you will never have to go through what I am gong through right now. But if (God forbid) you do, I will be there for you.

P.S. This is not to anyone on the boards, but some of you did do some of the same things. All I ask, is next time someone you know is going through a bad break up, try and remember that one of the reasons it is hard is because they problably still care for them… and vice versa…

Please, I don’t want sympathy. I don’t want hugs, and… well… shucks, I just can’t pass up smooches :slight_smile: If you want to reply, maybe you can relate. Has there been a time where you have had friends who just didn’t understand what you were going through? I know there had to have been. Share, if you want. I also know that I have been guilty of not understanding too, and actualy, that can be a whole 'nother rant, but I won’t, because that would be revealing personal things about two people I care about. That would break trust I will never break.

Phew, sorry so long, but I feel somewhat better. I still hurt, and I think I will always hurt, but I will live. I think…

2

you’ll live

And I’m sorry I did that. I didn’t really mean it though- I don’t knwo his ass from adam, I was mostly trying to make you laugh…
you may apply the icy hot at will, miss sexy11
(Iknow you ain’t jsut talkin about me, but I know I’m in there…)

3

Actualy, inor, you’ve done more for me than anyone. When I talk to my RL friends, they always say somethng to bash him, to remind me of what’s going on. You have helped me forget. Which is what I needed, and will need for a long time… Laughter is the best medicine, and you have made me laugh, fall out of my chair laughing, nearly black out laughing, then laugh again! :slight_smile: smooch

[sub]Oh, and smooches, and bathrooms are healing, too! :D[/sub]

And Medea, you have helped me lots too. By sharing with me what you went through in that email, by joining me and inor, and by just being you! smooch

Crunchy, you helped me a lot, as well. Knowing that I could email you, or even call you, helped me stay sane. (somewhat, I did go bonkers a few times…) Knowing that you have been through something similar has helped me lots. smooch

Euty, same with you. Knowing I wasn’t the only one to feel this pain helped. smooch

And everyone else, I know I am forgeting a lot of other people who helped, so, sorry. smooch

Oops! I’m smooching in the pit again! Sorry! Smooch for Alpha smooch for Lynn smooch for John

4

No icy-hot for you! Your poor pretty part has been through enough! :smiley:

5

Relic, it’s obvious you are really hurting and it pains me to read this. I know we don’t know each other, but e-mail me if you want to, K?

{{{Relic}}}

6

Damn you mrblue! Damn you to hell!

[sub]thanks…:)[/sub]

7

Ooops…

Well, guess I’ll have to smooch you then…

8

let me rub yer back for ya, no, no, trust me, it’s not sympathy I’m after gifting you with…

and besides, it gives me someting to do with my hannnnNNNNNddddsssssSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODHERAHIGOAGAINSOMEBODYSTOPMEPLEASESTOPMEBEFOREIBEFOREINEVERMINDGETTHEHELLAWAYFROMMEIT’SRINGAROUNDTHECOLLARTIMEAGAINONTHEOLDHOMESTEADSWEETJESSSSUSSSSSSI’MCOMINHOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM UH!!!
you know.

jsut a platonic back rub. Just until they can find a suitable gaurdian for me.

we’ll like it.

I know.
[sub]yew kin mail me too if ya wanna. i gotta go shred some dipshits now, k?

9

I dunno, inor, with where your hands have been… :smiley:

And you can email me too, inie! Thing is, I’m kinda wierd like that, I have this funny thing about calling people or being the first to email someone… I don’t know why, but I can’t bring myself to do that. Well, we all have our little quirks, some more than others :wink: smooches

smooch to mrblue too

10

Well, if you don’t want hugs or sympathy (Hmmm, does that mean I get to ask you to kiss me back, but not on the lips?) I guess that I’ll have to settle for the currency asked for.

>>>relic_11<<<

=> <----Dragonsmily

11

“Is she still going out with him?”

“I don’t know? There she is: let’s ask her.”

“I met him at the candy sto-ore…”

*(Sorry. You said you didn’t want sympathy–and maybe you’re too young to recognize this, anyway. :wink: *

12

Too young to recognise that? Umm, yup!

Thanks anyway. :confused:

13

I always thought this board should have a minimum age–say 35.

14

Well it seems to me that the best people I have met all have in common that they are capable of loving others than for themselves, and then that love is unconditional.

Your love and caring is unconditional. It seems you feel this way in spite of some pretty terrible things.

Those of your friends and family that bash this guy, have an unconditional love for you that causes deep seated resentment against anyone who would hurt the object of that love.

Maybe they do understand. Maybe they feel that way for you. Maybe they just don’t get it that you feel that way for him, and that by attacking him they’re hurting you.

A lot of people seem to think unconditional love is unique to them. I don’t think it is. I just think it’s perhaps the best part of good people.

Then again, I probably have no idea what I’m talking about, so please don’t kick me.

15

kick you?!?!

SMMMMOOOOOOOOCCCCCCHHHHHH!!!

sniffle Tank yew, Scylla. I wub yew…

[sub]I wub yew too, inie! Don’t get jealous! :)[/sub]

16

Dear Mods-

It has always seemed to me that it would be a GOOD thing for the pit to have a little sweetness and light. (Actually, I think it could use a LOT of sweetness and light.)

Other threads here have been closed, based on this aspect of the thread. And I know that you object to the “chat room” aspect of this.

But who ever said that the pit had to be ALL profanity and mean things?

I LIKE sweetness and light! Even in the PIT!

(All right, I know. “Cheri, get out of the pit. You don’t have the temperament for it. And, you probably spelled it wrong, too.”)

Scotti

17

blush

Oh relic…
blush

I’m sure I’ll com up with something eloquent sooner or later, but until then, I’m around if you need me. (though if you e-mailed me back at school, I won’t get it for a bit)

[sub]hehehe Scotti…you and me, we’ll redecorate around here a bit…[/sub]

18

Cheri! Hugs and smooches!

Actualy, yeah. I saw your name and thought, “what’s Cheri-dear doing in the pit? She’s too sweet to be around this filth!”

Hey, I did say I didn’t want any sympathy, but they keep insisting! :slight_smile:

I put this in the pit 'cause of the profanity. And when I started writing it I was pretty upset. I didn’t think the thread would turn like this. I really didn’t! I swear! And I did say youse guys can vent 'bout times stuff like this happened to you!

(post preview) Well, you DID help me lots, Medea!

19

the Leader of the Pack
Lookout! Lookout! Lookout!

[sub]FTR, I am 23![/sub] :stuck_out_tongue:

20

Years ago, my brother went through a tough break-up. It was very dramatic, there were lots of tears, lots of outburst, lots of anger directed at everyone around him. It seemed to go on for years. Most, if not all, of his friends and family told him the same thing. “It really sucks, but you have to move on. Forget about her, get over it, there are other fish in the sea . . .” and all of that. None of us really liked his ex-girlfriend, she had quite an attitude and stirred up a lot of drama between everyone. It was very annoying, so frankly, we were glad to see her finally go. Eventually, my bro came up with a very good point. He was tired of everyone giving him advice that would make THEM happy. We didn’t really like her, so great, she’s gone! Move on, forget about her, we are! I guess he just wanted someone to listen and not say much of anything. And I can see his point. It would have made everyone’s life a LOT easier if he would just let it go. Our advice was given in an attempt to give ourselves comfort rather than him. I suspect you’re getting much of the same. Perhaps if you explain it this way and just ask them to listen and not say anything, maybe you’ll be able to talk this out enough to figure out what you want or need to do, then allow yourself to continue on with the rest of your life. The last thing you need is to be put in a position where you need to defend your ex. That just pushes you closer together and nothing will ever get resolved.

On the other side of the same coin, don’t expect people to stop their lives to center on your relationship troubles. I for one was sick of being a target of my brother’s anger and sadness. His mood swings were unbearable and we didn’t have a decent family holiday for years because of it. He allowed his swelled sense of profound sadness affect everyone around him and I don’t think that was fair either. He didn’t leave us much choice but to get annoyed and outright BEG him to just forget about it. It was torture to be around him. We had things going on in our lives too. Bad days at work or school, friends, hobbies, stubbed toes. But he couldn’t see past his own despair. He is and always will be a drama queen, and this was his pinnacle performance. And believe it or not, the world kept turning, years went by and he did move on, he had no choice. Of course, he found someone even worse (a stripper from down south, yeow!), but hey, at least he tried. And it was damned exciting when she and the ex-girlfriend bumped into each other one night. Thos crazy southern girls can pack a punch! But I digress.

I guess my point is . . . I don’t really know what my point is. Oh yeah, speaking as someone who has been their for more than a few friends when they were going through long breakups, please realize that they can’t fix this for you. They’re not as deeply hurt as you are, but they are hurt to see you hurting. Of course their reaction is going to be to tell you to move on, because the sooner you do, the sooner you’ll feel better and that’s what they really care about. And not to be mean, but it’s really tiresome listening to someone obsess over relationship woes when you’ve already given them all the advice you had to give. If you don’t want to take their advice, fine, but you can’t force people to listen to you and tell you want you want to hear. If you really need answers, a therapist may be your best bet. They’re trained (and paid) to listen and help.

Sorry this is so long, but I really don’t feel like working and this post (and your others on the topic) reminded me a lot of my brother. Good luck, I hope you find peace with this soon! :slight_smile: